My gramma thinks she is my skns gramma

I figured this would be the best forum...didnt know where else to post.

So, ever since I was little, my Gramma tried taking my mothers role in my life. People would see us together and call me her daughter, not knowing or anything. But she would never correct them. I constantly have to turn her down of doing favors for me. Wanting to go shopping...whatever. I know it sounds like she's nice, but she's a wolf in sheeps clothing. She always has an ulterior motive. She hangs the favors and nice gestures over my head, and always has. And this has always bothered my mom. She has spoken up about it, but was Nic enough to keep me separate from the situation so I still had a grandparent.

Years and years later, my mom is diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic. She assaulted my half sister when she wad maybe 2 or 3 years old, but not being aware of it at all. So my mom and I have been trying to patch our relationship, as we were always close.

But now I have a son and he just turned a year old. My Gramma is constantly calling herself gram, Grammy, etc. To my son. And needless to say it is beyond offensive to my mom now. And me. She always tries to tell my boyfriend and I how we should do things one way or not with our child. She's so overbearing. She spires my mom and talks badly about her almost every chance she gets. And my father passed away last year. Not even a year ago from today, so I'm trying my best for the fairness of my son to include everyone I can in his life. My mom isn't supposed to be around children because of her incident, so she couldn't go to his birthday party or be at the hospital when he was born. She wouldn't have wanted to go anyways, I know her well enough yo know she would feel awkward, out of place, and judged. So my boyfriend was doing my grammar lawn yesterday and she told him that she thinks my mother was offended I didn't invite her. Which is complete bull. I spoke to her that day, because his party landed on my moms birthday. My mother and I feel the same way about my Gramma, without here influencing me at all. She always had me in mind before talking trash when i was younger. She didn't even know I felt the same until I very recently told her. Anyways, my Gramma is over bearing and I don't know why she acts like my mom is the one who passed away. I'm more so venting than asking advice I suppose. But it gets so irritating, she is so gossipy, in your face and ignorant. The whole situation makes me sick. I feel terrible for my mother. And not to mention my heart completely aches to have her involved rather than my Gramma but she legally can't be.

it sounds like a talk with your gramma is long overdue. you have the right to set boundaries with her over what you will and will not tolerate. your mom's opinion does not even have to play a role in it. i dont think what she calls herself is that big of a deal as there are so many names for a grandmother that your mom can pick one of the others for her own special title. i hope that you feel better that you got this out.