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#1
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Hello, everyone. I came here as this is definitely a woman issue that men wouldn't understand. In 2011, I found out I was pregnant with my oldest daughter. I had a great pregnancy, and went in for an induction in October. I stalled at 4 cm for 2 hours and my dr automatically went to a cesarean. This caused issues after she was born. I didn't connect to her for weeks, and I hated myself for failing. In 2013, I found out I was pregnant again. I discussed a VBAC with the head dr at the clinic, who said go for it. However, none of the residents would discuss it with me. In February 2014, my second daughter was born via c-section. Again, I hated myself and felt like a failure. I couldn't breastfeed either girl. That added to my feelings of failure. To this day, I am insanely jealous of any friend who has a vaginal or can breastfeed. The mental issues caused by the cesareans have done so much damage. Can anyone else relate?
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![]() Homeira
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#2
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Not really, in the sense that I'm of the opinion that media places too much pressure on right and wrong ways to deliver and also in regards to breastfeeding. I, too, was induced, went through to the next morning, pushing, but the doctor offered a csection, my son's hairy little head left it impossible to tell what wasn't going right. He was faced wrong, could have broken his neck. I certainly bonded post natal, and I knew I was physically incapable of breastfeeding. Vbac was discussed with son 2, until placenta previa presented itself. That was one uncomfortable pregnancy. Son #3 was an obvious csection.
Were you treated for post parthum depression, seeing you felt lack of maternal bonding/connection? My boys all had three different formulas and are close knit as a family . I will restate, too much unnecessary societal pressure. ![]() |
#3
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#4
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Are you sensitive to the meds used for surgical procedures? My cousins gallbladder removal brought about the triggers for her bipolar disorder and subsequent diagnosis..
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#5
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I had depression before the c-section. We're pretty sure I was bipolar before it, too, as the extreme mood swings have always been there. My former therapist is absolutely positive that the first c-section made my depression worse, and that they are detrimental to my mental health. She actually put in a request to my OB/GYN that I be allowed a VBAC. But we unfortunately moved out of state and the new clinic just wouldn't answer my questions. I honestly don't know if I'm sensitive or not as I had many sets of ear tubes done before the c-section.
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#6
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Mental health issues aren't as easy to pinpoint causation, unfortunately. If there's a genetic predisposition and knowing that your bipolar was prior to your first csection having had tubes in your ears, there stands a chance that's part of the bigger picture. My aunt had told the family that the anesthetic probably brought about my cousins genetic predisposition from her paternal side. My aunt and that side of my family does their/our research and we just talk about it, reducing stigma and general misunderstanding.
Granted it's unfortunate that you couldn't have the delivery that you'd envisioned. Perhaps it was a safety precaution that you were unaware of? Many doctors are skittish of vbac. The way I viewed my own csections, it gave me extra time in the hospital to rest and recover. By my third, I had ample privacy, downtime and my third required skin to skin contact as he was losing body temp. We watched(sort of) a playoff game together, our team won. I found my first time in more upsetting of an experience, the breastfeeding judgy advocacy, the nurses not very helpful, they treat first timers like hmphh, found too much preachiness. That I didn't experience the following two times, not that they weren't all sweating my lack of moving my legs after the second, too much anesthetic. There's a whirlwind of things that occur in delivery that can compound depression, etc... |
#7
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#8
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I feel like my first two, were life saving for both sons. Additionally, I knew going into my first pregnancy, that i was nervous about scar tissue from a fall off a bike, at the age of six, resulting in reconstructive surgery. My health and survival matters to my children. I gave it a try, but my son had other ideas. How long before you try this VBA2C? How old are your kids now? Mine are 12,9,8... Last edited by healingme4me; May 18, 2015 at 06:37 AM. Reason: Additional thought |
![]() BeautifulButtercup
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#9
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#10
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Seems like an awful lot of self loathing to carry around pent up, over how your children came into this world. Will you and their father utilize a midwife or doula, for your next child?
Did you heal up well, from the incision? I was fortunate with my obgyn, being quite the perfectionist, my incision line is well chatted when nurses have seen it. I was one of the first local patients that had the invisible bandage, maybe the first, after my third. |
#11
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#12
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I was reading much more about it, found a site that has oodles of information and books. One of the recommendations is to do your emotional homework. Really get a handle on everything, resolve life's past issues, address present issues, because state of mind can go a long way in preparation of a vbac(2++). Has charts with statistical numbers and then some. Started by someone in the medical field during their own personal experience. Since, there wasn't much information when they started gathering.
I figure, you're at PC, certainly a stepping stone with the recommended emotional homework. I think my bike accident as a child places me on the fence on childbirth. Either or are beautiful experiences, in my opinion. I've nothing to prove to myself with pain endurance, so to speak. |
#13
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#14
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I am uncertain why it's through this site name, however, this is what I found after searching vbac after 2 cesareans. Somewhere in all this, is mention to learn to let go, if things don't go as planned. I'm unsure, myself, if not societal influence/pressure, nor the pain to prove the toughness of motherhood, which I read too often, upon making my first birthing plan, why a csection delivery evokes such feelings of failure? I discovered of myself, that I'm on the quiet side in labor. Got an internal laugh when the nurse said I wasn't pushing right and I told her something didn't feel right, as if a first timer would know that. Yep... There's a lot that goes into these experiences, is it possible you've sensitivity to others around you? There is such thing as others giving off a judging demeanor...the night nurse brought the equipment in so loudly during the middle of the night, my husband was there overnight..the discharge was even humiliating when i was given the no intimacy instructions looking at me and my husband's adult nephew who was driving us home. Brought my baby upstairs, climbed into bed and just sobbed my heart out, happy to be home... |
#15
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![]() JLarissaDragon
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#16
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#17
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It depends on the results. Like if I have the VBAC, but can't breastfeed, that would probably cause the feelings to continue. But if both are successful and they don't, I'll definitely know the cesareans were to blame.
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#18
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Motherhood is an experience in and of itself. In the long run, it's not how they entered this world, but that they did. It's not what they ate, but that they ate. My youngest has some fine motor issues, especially where his hands are concerned. His teacher said today, that all week he has refused his approved modifications and has chosen to grab the bull by the horns. His birth seems like ages ago... |
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