[ladytiger]

This has got me thinking a question for the women. I was reading a writing online about body shaming how People are so mean towards others. One woman commented how she was told no man will ever want her etc because of her body but her body is different.

I still hear the hateful comments about my body being told I'm ugly can't get a man which is why I always stay single. I've had people who found me attractive sounds nice to hear why am I told I'm attractive yet no one asks me out? I'm not those women with the looks can kill where men fall out of their chairs. It's like I'm not everyone's cup of tea.

I have had very few men ask for my number yet a chick with a nice body gets all the numbers. I am little by little starting to show skin as I'm losing weight. Has anyone ever felt attractive in their own way? It's hard for me to see myself attractive when I can't compete with natural beautiful or drop dead gorgeous women.

How did you believe you were attractive? I'm just curious about how women have found their own self worth and seeing themselves as attractive?

[Artchic528]

I hate what society has come to. Heavier women are shamed and accused of "fat acceptance" and that they aren't healthy. I'm not thin, nor do I think I'll be that way again any time soon. However, I don't see anything wrong with me. I have a healthy cholesterol level, healthy blood sugar, and healthy blood pressure. If one of those were unhealthy, then yes, I'd do something like eating differently and healthier foods to get them back to healthy levels. Another thing to note is that my current meds are prone to cause weight gain, and that's something I've come to accept as part of my being healthy mentally. A trade off of sorts. Either I'm skinny and mentally unstable, or healthy mentally and a little chubby.

I'm still able to get around, I can walk up and down stairs and have no joint pain doing so. I'm perfectly healthy and plus sized. I can still buy clothes off the rack at stores that don't necessarily cater to plus sized women, so I'm not THAT huge.

I make it a point to look at myself in the mirror while naked and say "I'm beautiful" and make sure I mean it. It works to boost my self esteem. Sure I'm not a super model by any means, but who's to say a super model can't be my size? I love how fashion these days is becoming more and more diverse.

Anyways, I guess I'm just annoyed that some people find there own self worth by shaming people such as myself, that is to say, people who aren't thin. Healthy doesn't equate to thin, but rather it equates to what works for you.

So those idiots who are shaming me for "accepting" my weight as it is can go and suck it. They have no clue what I've been through and what I deal with on a daily basis with my mental health. They have no right to accuse me of anything. NO RIGHT!!!

Sorry, this turned into a rant of sorts. I'm okay now. Carry on.

[IrisBloom]

Too many men and women are superficial and shallow. Would you want a man (or woman) who only likes your body without getting to know you? Of course physical appearance is what initially attracts us to others, but it is only one facet of a person.

It is my opinion that people who "fat-shame" or similar are merely reflecting their own insecurities onto another. What business is it of theirs what size or shape my body is?

There are plenty of healthy, happy and sexy large women, as well as plenty of unhealthy, unhappy and disgusting skinny women. Don't worry about your looks, just be the best you can be. AND be kind to your self.

[RomanSunburn]

The thing that gets me is that the body shaming goes both ways. I've seen plenty of "skinny shaming," if you will. It's as if they're trying to overcompensate with the "large is beautiful" to the point where they're insulting anyone who is thin. There are plenty of girls who are naturally skinny or are athletes or whathaveyou. Just as being bigger doesn't necessarily mean unhealthy, neither does being skinny. Sure, there's unhealthy in both directions, but I think women as a whole need to be more accepting of all body types.

So much of attractiveness is confidence; if you understood that you were attractive and desirable exactly as you are and you gave a man you liked your number, he would be attracted by your self-confidence and call you. This is exactly how and why bipolars get so much play.

[ladytiger]

Originally Posted by IrisBloom

Too many men and women are superficial and shallow. Would you want a man (or woman) who only likes your body without getting to know you? Of course physical appearance is what initially attracts us to others, but it is only one facet of a person.

It is my opinion that people who "fat-shame" or similar are merely reflecting their own insecurities onto another. What business is it of theirs what size or shape my body is?

There are plenty of healthy, happy and sexy large women, as well as plenty of unhealthy, unhappy and disgusting skinny women. Don't worry about your looks, just be the best you can be. AND be kind to your self.

So true. Every dating site I am on I see someone I am attracted to they are shallow as ****! A young woman I found attractive I was getting ready to email her then she said don't contact me if you're ugly or fat I am like she is still in high school she was like 23. Funny, she was reading my profile because I saw she visited mine lol. Even those who have natural beauty and attractive seem to come across as shallow as **** very rarely do I meet any who can find beauty in all.

[Raindropvampire]

I am a BIG girl and always have been. So was my sister. Our dating lives were night and day. I have never had a problem getting dates and she almost never got asked out. It all comes down to one word: CONFIDENCE.

I know I'm big but I also know I'm pretty. My hair is gorgeous, great smile, beautiful eyes and a cute little pixie nose. I've done plus sized modeling and maybe that helped with the confidence. I tried to get my sister into it because she was beautiful but she always felt you couldn't be big and be pretty. I have always been very confident and apparently guys just react to that. I mean let's face it if you are FAT you aren't hiding it so just own it

I am the first big girl that my husband has ever been with. I asked him once what it was he noticed about me. He said first it was my eyes, hair and smile. Then when he actually got to meet me he said it was how overwhelmingly confident I was and my personality in general.

[WhatDayIsItAgain]

Noses, hips, blushes and smiles are all beautiful; It is those who are verbalizing cruelty who are the most *unattractive*.

Make an example about something other than body image;
Hey! Do you love this painting I just finished? (is about me)
It is okay. It is great. It is not my favorite of your other artworks. The painting is weird but I love you anyway. (is about kind loving people)
You are stupid to paint at all and a lousy artist who is %#@#$ and unworthy of approval or support because _____ (is about the hate and cruelty of whoever treats anyone badly over whatever; such as a wrinkle, bulge, fold, bump, scar or pimple)

Dishonest cruel people are toxic and should be avoided (if they are mean to others they will eventually be mean to you too)

The control freak types are very aware of the status ladder system (due to their low status as failures, rejects, abusers, and fakes) but true ALPHAS (male and female) take care of the people who trust and need them, not injure/abuse/demean them. A strong leader wants a strong tribe and that starts with acceptance and bonding, not rejection and ridicule. At least that is how I handle the insults and taunts I get; I am loyal to the kind (*seek*) and unforgiving of the cruel (*avoid*). I have never had a true ALPHA or true BETA types berate, attack, mock or humilate me while insisting I fix an error or complete a task... just the underBETA class does that.... ever been a waitress in a diner? I got stories.

[ladytiger]

Originally Posted by Lefty the Salesman

So much of attractiveness is confidence; if you understood that you were attractive and desirable exactly as you are and you gave a man you liked your number, he would be attracted by your self-confidence and call you. This is exactly how and why bipolars get so much play.

When they insist of wanting my number, I give them a fake name and number. I told them I wasn't interested but they didn't get it. Lately, I have been being more social again I am getting numbers by men like crazy would be nice if women gave me theirs too. Just getting to know them and becoming friends I have no desire to get into a relationship. My new pics I took when I was at a party, showed a lot of sexiness, confidence, and dominance.

[ladytiger]

Originally Posted by Raindropvampire

I am a BIG girl and always have been. So was my sister. Our dating lives were night and day. I have never had a problem getting dates and she almost never got asked out. It all comes down to one word: CONFIDENCE.

I know I'm big but I also know I'm pretty. My hair is gorgeous, great smile, beautiful eyes and a cute little pixie nose. I've done plus sized modeling and maybe that helped with the confidence. I tried to get my sister into it because she was beautiful but she always felt you couldn't be big and be pretty. I have always been very confident and apparently guys just react to that. I mean let's face it if you are FAT you aren't hiding it so just own it

I am the first big girl that my husband has ever been with. I asked him once what it was he noticed about me. He said first it was my eyes, hair and smile. Then when he actually got to meet me he said it was how overwhelmingly confident I was and my personality in general.

True, they always say confidence is the real winner. Hmm, I have seen beautiful women with zero confidence still get the guys well they are always the jerks. My confidence level goes up and down not really high at all times like it should be. My ex of 10 yrs loved me for me rarely do you find anyone like that. I was told by other guys that I need to look like this and that, have the body of xyz, then I'd be more desirable.

[TishaBuv]

I felt attractive as young as I can remember. I used to like to dress up in grown up clothes, costumes, and put on shows singing and dancing. People would say I was so cute.

Then I had a really homely stage from 7 to 13. I got made fun of. This did a lot of psychological damage to my self esteem.

By 14, I started getting shapely and better-looking. Boys started showing interest.

So, I guess I liked myself from the start, which was reinforced by other's approval. Then people's reactions to me dictated how sure I felt about myself.

I am not especially attractive, but when I do hair, make up, and clothes, and act with confidence and sensuality, people find me very attractive.

As for body shaming-- yes, hurtful things were said to me by people, even by supposed friends. But men didn't care about my flaws enough to not have sex with me. They even said they liked my features that I know are very unattractive.

[ladytiger]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

I felt attractive as young as I can remember. I used to like to dress up in grown up clothes, costumes, and put on shows singing and dancing. People would say I was so cute.

Then I had a really homely stage from 7 to 13. I got made fun of. This did a lot of psychological damage to my self esteem.

By 14, I started getting shapely and better-looking. Boys started showing interest.

So, I guess I liked myself from the start, which was reinforced by other's approval. Then people's reactions to me dictated how sure I felt about myself.

I am not especially attractive, but when I do hair, make up, and clothes, and act with confidence and sensuality, people find me very attractive.

As for body shaming-- yes, hurtful things were said to me by people, even by supposed friends. But men didn't care about my flaws enough to not have sex with me. They even said they liked my features that I know are very unattractive.

It's interesting I used to love dressing up a lot and always felt attractive yet no guys weren't interested. Got the casual looks checking me out but no one gave a number. very few guys gave new a number I turned them down anyway.

Men told me I wasn't Halle Berry or Kim K thus made me ugly and rated me on a scale on looks - my looks to them were between a 6-8 on a scale of 1-10; 10 being hot. I don't know women tell me I need to do something to my hair, what does that have anything to do with me? Not all women want their hair down and about. I used to love wearing my hair down when I was a kid and self esteem took its toll on me.

I didn't have any boyfriends only a couple that was it. I was with guys who always told me "they felt sorry for me" whatever the **** that meant is beyond me. It's still a hard *** struggle....

[vonmoxie]

Personally, I find all kinds of bodies to be beautiful, whether they embody more strength, more delicacy, some or another cultural or exotic difference that we are blessed to still have among us to appreciate, or some expression of their artistic vision... whatever it may be that makes each person special, vive la différence! For myself, once I stopped worrying about how I compare to physical norms or averages (and who'd want to really be either of those anyway) or to how anyone else thought I should look, people were far more attracted to my confidence and spirit than they could ever have been based on mere appearances. I only ever knew that I was attractive by learning to compare myself to no one, and to appreciate the beauty of my own uniqueness.

Bodies are just containers for the spirit, and body-shamers are just uneducated jerks whose nonsense opinions advance nothing. Let them keep their stupid shame for themselves; they certainly deserve it.

[IrisBloom]

I agree, Vonmoxie. There are many facets to each of us, and body size/shape is just one. Anyone worth spending time and effort on is going to look beyond physical appearance.

[ladytiger]

Originally Posted by vonmoxie

Personally, I find all kinds of bodies to be beautiful, whether they embody more strength, more delicacy, some or another cultural or exotic difference that we are blessed to still have among us to appreciate, or some expression of their artistic vision... whatever it may be that makes each person special, vive la différence! For myself, once I stopped worrying about how I compare to physical norms or averages (and who'd want to really be either of those anyway) or to how anyone else thought I should look, people were far more attracted to my confidence and spirit than they could ever have been based on mere appearances. I only ever knew that I was attractive by learning to compare myself to no one, and to appreciate the beauty of my own uniqueness.

Bodies are just containers for the spirit, and body-shamers are just uneducated jerks whose nonsense opinions advance nothing. Let them keep their stupid shame for themselves; they certainly deserve it.

Wow, that is awesome! Yea, that's a challenge for me. Here's an example: I am on a dating site (not looking for anything spectacular) every damn ad I read says "must be skinny/hot/pretty/fit" like am I reading an adult ad or a teen ad?! These are adults younger than me mostly, however, I have seen those older than me sounding like they are 17. I understand everybody has their likes and preferences which is fine but sounding like the world is gonna end if I am not a size 2 is another! I was asked on one site my weight and if I work out like am I gonna pass the requirement checklist or something?!

I see those in ads I read quickly and move on yet they are the same people who email me. Once I see negativity and shallowness, I have no reason to keep reading the profiles any further. I have gotten compliments on my body recently in my new pics because of the weight I lost which is always nice.

[TishaBuv]

I think being a 6-8 out of 10 is very attractive. I never had men tell me I was not pretty like certain movie stars. Why would men even say that?

Once, I told a college boyfriend, I would like to be a stripper, and he told me I didn't have the t*ts for it, lol.

Maybe you are putting out something other than your looks that is throwing you off. Is it things you say?

[ladytiger]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

I think being a 6-8 out of 10 is very attractive. I never had men tell me I was not pretty like certain movie stars. Why would men even say that?

Once, I told a college boyfriend, I would like to be a stripper, and he told me I didn't have the t*ts for it, lol.

Maybe you are putting out something other than your looks that is throwing you off. Is it things you say?

I was told by a guy I would look better in a thong if I lost weight in my tummy and lower body area long time. I was also told I don't have a body to be a stripper. I do work out a lot not near my goal yet I bought a few clothes from goodwill for a party I still hate looking in the mirror.

Low self esteem screams I had a lot of confidence when I went to another party. I'm always questioned about my weight none of people's biz let me be! I've been measuring my progress on my weight I'm hoping to be down to 140 at least so I can show more skin. Yea it's the things I say I'm being told by people I'm beautiful attractive sexy hot nice body etc lately I just can't believe it if I had more men and women paying attention to me then I can believe it and get asked out a lot.