[littlered2012]

Hey im 28yrs old and i was diagnosed with ptsd about 5 yrs ago....i was givien this diagnosis after i talk to my therapist about my nightmares and its cause of the rapes that i have been threw from the age of 5 to 18 and then the fact that my mom was never around to protect me from everything thaf happened....now i wonder if it was my fault and its making work and home life hard to deal with... I have cheated on my husband more times then i can count...and hes stilll here by my side...he said he knows this is not me...for some reason sex does not mean anything to me...its oh ok u want sex kool lets do it....heck i have been married for almost 5yrs and still dont know what making love feels like....and i want to work thru my past so that i can have a great marriage...i lovr love my husband...but its hard to love another when i hate my self.....i feel like this all is my fault in some way...can one give advise on how to unblock memories that you have blocked...or advise on any of this would help ty so much for listening to me....this is the first time i have opened up in a long time....but i think its needed

[88Butterfly88]

I have PTSD from abuse too. Rape is NEVER the victim's fault, especially when you were a kid. Your abuser took advantage of you and I'm so sorry to hear this happened to you. I agree that it is hard to love someone else when you don't love yourself. But remember, you are worth love. Try doing good things for yourself, care for your body, maybe get a massage if you like them, celebrate you, because you are worth it. Is therapy helping at all? If not maybe try a different therapist. Try to find one that specializes in trauma.

[PandorasAquarium]

88Butterflies88 I would thank you a hundred times if I could. Couldn't agree more!

Littlered, I'm so sorry. I hope you can just keep working thru this. You are worth it. It is not your fault. Please don't sell yourself short. You did nothing wrong and the burden you bear is unbelievably heavy from the sound of it. I hope you can find a therapist who can help you to heal and love yourself the way you deserve.