not sure where to put this...

Yesterday morning started out good. I went and met with a lady from housing authority and she told me that the next time I come in it will be to sign a lease. So I was happy. THEN I had to be dropped off at an appointment early because someone else had an appointment. SO I was dropped off an hour early. It would not have bothered me so much but where my appointment was was not in a very safe neighborhood and the office where my appointment was is closed from 12 noon to 1 pm. I was able to get in early but found out that if I am not careful that I will no longer beable to use the sexual assault crisis line. EVEN though I THOUGHT I was doing good and not abusing it they say I am. For example I started having really bad flashbacks during the fireworks on Friday or Saturday and the staff that was working was laughing at me and so was my housemate. So I went in the house after I finished my cigarette and called the crisis line. I guess that was not an emergency/crisis and I was honest with the person that I did not use any of my skills. I know that my advocate is trying to keep it so I can call the crisis line and things like that but I feel like I am being scolded all the time.
Anyways, then I had art group after my appointment and they closed an hour early because I was the only that showed up. I just feel lost and lonely and feel like hiding in my shell.

((((((((LA-ML))))))))

LA-ML - how are you doing? I can empathize with flashbacks/needing to reach out to someone, feeling panic with fireworks, etc. It's too bad the hotline could not have simply given you some other resources to use; laughter is not an appropriate response to pain and suffering.

Where I live, we have "warm lines" run by NAMI. You can talk about problems, or just chat. During peak times, there is a 20-min limit by necessity, but they usually provide other resources. Yes, occasionally you get some totally unqualified person ( defined as bored voice, lacking in empathy, repeating canned sentiments), but as most workers are also m.h. consumers, you usually get valuable feedback.

If you can wait a bit (approx 24 hours), the Samaritans in the UK have an email service. I write out my problem, helpful just to get it out, and get a pretty measured and helpful reply. Link: Samaritans | Samaritans I'm in the American states, but still find them helpful.

I'm not sure if you use RAINN, but they can also be a great resource: https://www.rainn.org/ I have called them many times (my incidents were over 10 years ago, and they are still compassionate.)

I've found the PTSD and Anxiety forums here very helpful; there is a Survivors of Abuse forum as well. I don't see one specifically for Sexual Assault (?) maybe someone can advise about this.

Apologies if these are things you are already aware of. Hope you will post again to say how you are feeling, what has helped.

Take care

Thinking of you. I used to volunteer for a suicide hotline but people could call for other MI reasons. We listened to everyone except crank callers. We definitely had regular callers but it was fine - they just needed a listener to get them through a rough patch.