experimenting?

i was thinking about "experimenting" and how some people get sexual experience out of a committed relationship in order to please the right person who finally does come along.

now, my personaly thoughts on this is that one should..develop and learn within a good, healthy relationship. not be expected to be a pro first time round.

and the thing about gender here too.. is it true that men tend to experiment more because there is no real..proof? ( or is there a proof for men of loss of virginity? idk ) whereas with women its kinda obvious?

do you personally care whether your partner has experimented before? or is it less..special?

there really isnt any proof for women either. when youre 6 and you fall off your bike you can break your hymen. my friend's hymen didnt break even after she had sex. so the hymen thing isnt like a tell all.

i think if guys do experiment more it has nothing to do with thinking about your futre partner, its cause theyre horny lol.

i think guys would be less likely to experiment, at least with men, because society tells them that they cant express anything other than pure unadulterated manhood.

my boyfriend had only slept with 2 girls before me and i had slept with 8 guys lol. so i felt like a slut when hes this good guy. he said he didnt care (half of those were drunken one night stands anyways) and has never judged me for it so i dont know.

I don't really think of it as 'experimenting' or a way to 'practice.' I think that sex and any other type of sexual experiences that occur in the absence of a committed relationship are okay as long as:

--you are staying safe
--you are not doing it just to fill up something that is not there (I did this a lot)
--you are not doing it just for 'practice'
--you and your partner are sober
--you are staying safe
--you are staying safe
--you are staying safe

I think it is okay because in my opinion there is nothing wrong with two people who are attracted to each other having a pleasing experience together. By 'staying safe' I mean both using protection and not putting yourself in any situation which might be dangerous.

My husband and I both have pretty significant sexual histories from before we met each other. When we first began talking about it, each of us was bothered at thinking of the other person with someone else, blah, blah, but in time we got over it. I never think about that stuff anymore.

thanks saluki, pink..

im going to open it to guys as well if thats ok.

NO BATTLE OF THE SEXES PLEASE!!

Just thought that this would be appropriate here. The hymen is like a hair scrunchie in estrogenated woman "sexually developed". It is flexible for sex and the birth of babies. This is how the experts can most times see the damage done to young girls when they are not yet developed and have been raped. There are permanent telltale scars. Sometimes horrible scarring if you ever talk to a SANE nurse. A sexual assault nurse expert! These are the trails that rapists leave, and how they get caught, along with DNA. Think of it this way ladies. If you have sex with your significant other or hubby, and go to your doctor two days later, does he say, "What the H happened to you?" No, but in a young one, this would be red lights. Damage done skating or bike riding would be very rare if at all, and on the outside. Just something to think about.

http://www.starmatrimonials.com/hymen.asp

this is an article that includes different ways a hymen can break including horseback riding and others.

and if you dont like .com's (i dont) here is an educational website that says the same thing. things like that do break the hymen.

http://www.soc.ucsb.edu/sexinfo/?article=obnO

I looked this up, and it is pretty much what I already know. Accidents can happen, but SANE nurses will tell you that it is highly unlikely when a lawyer is trying to defend his client for rape. That is what I am saying. Damage done by sexual encounter is rough and deep inside. The hymen is not always proof, but a real good exam and pictures can tell a story.

Right, but I don't think Gabriel was asking about rape.

when I lost my virginity he was experienced....he told me he liked to deflower virgins (afterwards of course, he had to kiss my *** to initially get me to like him) I felt more secure that he knew what he was doing...but I think either way. just make it an experience you'll cherish.

i definately went through my ***** stage lol. when i was 18 and left my ex who was abusive i went on a kick, man. i thought "what the hell.... ive gotten raped and gotten the crap beaten out of me. im going to use as many men as i freaking want to" so i did. about 4 of them in a couple months span. dont worry, im std and HIV free. but i just kinda went crazy. it wasnt really experimenting. it was more like getting men in general back for everything they did to me in the past. in the end i ended up hurting a couple too which i regret now. so what was playing to me was hurting someone else. so i think experimenting need to just be talked about b/t both parties beforehand.

after i hurt this one guy i went to one of my friends and said i didnt want anything serious at all and he agreed. but i wish i would have done that with the first guy cause i didnt and he hates me now, which i understand totally.

i can understand reasons for wanting practice Gabriel.. but still, i, er, um, ... think it'd be kinda cool if the couple learned from beginning together... i mean, its an activity the couple can enjoy, doing together.....

positive elements in place would make the experience more fun.. open communication (why marry someone you cant talk to?) [cause i did ] , and there's so many resources for education you can literally learn at home...

lol

well i havent been thinking so much of experimenting myself as sex basically scares the living %#@&#! out of me (no idea why ive never been r*ped etc.)

just curious mainly as to others opinions on it though.

yeah, the rape issue was one i considered after my first post, thanks for inviting mens opinions on this BTW.. but, yeah.. rape would alter the dynamics of my original input..

wishing you the best Gabriel (but you already knew that...)

thanks nowheretorun