daily check in for women #2

I'm still having problems with sleep even though I'm back on Cymbalta. I sleep for 2 or 3 hours, then I am wide awake. I get more sleep later on. I'm not sure what my problem is.

Just settling into my new living situation as expected. Things are neutral.

I'm just taking it moment by moment.

Feeling a little overwhelmed today

I don't like my menses. I dread menopause. My body feels disconnected yet still painful enough. I miss my youth; I miss having energy and feeling light - both literally and figuratively. I'm dealing with midlife transition issues. But other than that and my ongoing PTSD, dissociation, and chronic fatigue - among other physiological disorders, I'm just fine. (Well, no, I'm not fine, but I'm fine enough.)

I'm having a good day. I've stayed busy with fun hobbies. I also went for a drive and a walk. I may color later on.

I’m emotional before my period today. I hope it shows up soon!

I'm not very happy this morning. I feel sad and lonely and hurt. But I'll get over it and later, maybe after a nap, I will feel better. I'm going to have a ****-it attitude.

Some days I want to be an extraterrestrial who lives forever and doesn't have to deal with female parts and some other nonbinary human parts.

living forever is a scary thought. at least to me. I'm quite happy to not be emortal

I'm doing Okay today. I've been playing my game and taking breaks to get things done. I've accomplished a lot so far. I'm taking a meditative break now with my sunlamp.

Happy New Year everyone! I've been depressed. I hope 2022 is better for all of us.

Happy New Year! I've been depressed too. Today feels a bit better. I've changed up my routine.

Changing routines can be good!

Feeling slightly less depressed today.

For some reason, I'm afraid to go to bed. I guess I am concerned that I'll wake up 2 hours later.

I've had that before too. I hope you manage to get some sleep.

I'm getting by. Could be better, could be worse.

Been angry on and off, and tired - with what I call the “PTSD tiredness”, because I slept well but have odd energy slumps, usually along with negative feelings/thoughts. It makes working more difficult, but I got by, and am off tomorrow. I’m seeing my counsellor over Zoom, so looking forward to that.

I, too, get the "PTSD tiredness."

I've been feeling blah, grumpy, agitated, frustrated, depressed, mildly anxious, PTSD-y, fatigued, and somewhat mixed-hopeful lately. I just don't want my hopes to get too high and let down my guard.

I'm also fearing perimenopause, thyroid problems, my continued vitamin D deficiency, and prediabetes issues. Some are reversible and/or manageable, but others - not so much. There's nothing I can do to stop menopause from happening. I don't have it yet, I don't think, but I notice some changes in my body.

I have been crying for an hour. Someone hurt my feelings and then I went into a downward spiral about how awful I am and how awful my situation is. I wish I could cheer up but I'm not very happy.

I'm so sorry someone hurt your feelings, @Deilla



I hope that you feel better and can focus on the other positive, supportive, validating, and caring people.

Some people just suck - or they are dealing with their own stuff that they try to project that onto other people. Who knows, but it's hard being on the receiving end of that.

I've had such people in my life. I would either try to communicate, ghost, end the relationship with an explanation, or keep the relationship - but at a far distance. Some people may not know how to engage properly with others, so they say things that are inappropriate. What makes it harder is when it brings up past triggers for you, or when the relationship means a lot to you and the person has let you down (often times again and again). It's hardest when the person is family or a significant other.

I hope you are able to find ways to "contain" that experience by journaling and then putting that journal entry into a fancy "container box" that you don't open until you speak with your therapist next. That's the approach to "pacing and containing" our trauma triggers and other triggers. That way, you can say that all the stuff you are feeling and had experienced is safely tucked away into a box. What's left outside is only the safe stuff - things that you can see, taste, smell, feel, and/or hear - that keeps you safe, grounded, and in the here-and-now (without the mean things that person said). You can always revisit it later, or even briefly when describing it here or with safe, trusted friends/family. But limit yourself to the negative things (such as news, reminders, bad memories, grief processing) to the middle of the day and only for a few minutes at a time. You don't want to go to bed upset, and you don't want to wake in the morning to upsetting things. The afternoons could be reserved for dealing with the toughest things, and you can limit those (pace and contain) for about an hour or less.

The rest of your day can then focus on self-care, coping skills, your kind friends, things you enjoy doing, etc., even if it is tough and painful to come out of feeling hurt. You can do it! The more you practice this, the better your life will be at dealing with the pains that life brings us sometimes, and the discernment of where others might be coming from when they have problems - not you, but then they try to project it onto you or something. People can find kinder ways of saying things. But sometimes we aren't the ones to teach them that.

Hang in there, my friend.

(((hugs)))

I can't sleep. I'm trying to get every chore done before I finally try to rest. That way when I wake up, I won't have anything to do.

I'm having a hard time sleeping. I keep waking up. And then I feel like I have to do chores.

I had Covid last week. Just took a test this morning. I hope the results are negative, so I can fly back to the US. I am currently visiting family in India.

I'm fatigued today. I made myself some hot cocoa this morning - with marshmallows. It was yummy! I also made some ramen for breakfast.

I'm now ready to return to sleep.

I’m getting by. Had a decent therapy session today. My therapist gave me some things to think about. I’m kind of depressed but am trying to be optimistic.