personality traits we find attractive in men

As far as I'm concerned, the only thing that makes a man is that Y chromosome. There is no one thing you can say about "all" men.

And I'm going to jump onto the "crying" debate by saying I refuse to be with a man who thinks he's too macho to cry. I don't want him to be excessive about it, but I want him to be human. Humans show all emotions, and men should not be limited only to anger, lust, and the thrill of sports competition just because those are the only "acceptable" male feelings.

how about we agree that a man needs to have a little bit of it all. not too macho but its still nice to feel like hes a protector. not necessarily brings home the bacon, but doesnt sit on his *** playing madden all day. ambition, but doesnt put work before family. affectionate, but no pda! pda is gross! lol. i like myself a tweener!

and personally, a love of shows like the simpsons, family guy and futurama are a must. i dont get people who dont get those shows.

I'm sorry if this is off topic. I don't mean it to be; it's about men's tastes vs. women's. Interesting comment on the Simpsons, Family Guy, and Futurama. My hubby-to-be is into those, plus King of the Hill, Beavis and Butthead, South Park, and the rest of the ilk. I'm not. We'd decided it was a gender thing.

The reason I don't like Family Guy in particular is that I'm a little too emotionally tied up in the way Meg gets abused. I relate too much. It's triggering for me, but I don't think it's reasonable to expect him not to watch something he enjoys. So, he watches all the Family Guy he wants while I do something else. Best way to handle it in our situation.

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Crying is not a characteristic that would be attractive to me in a man.

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His attractiveness is not what would be on my mind if I saw my man crying. I'd wonder what was hurting him, and react the same to him as he would to me in the same situation. If a family member of his died, screw attractiveness. I've been saying it all day, but apparently it's not getting through. SOME THINGS ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTRACTIVENESS!

Right, and attractiveness doesn't always mean something that is physically attractive. I find someone who is intellectual to have an attractive trait. I wasn't necessarily speaking about something being physically attractive.

I wasn't talking about physical attractiveness either. But I'm finding it hard to believe if a man experiences a death or something, he shouldn't cry because he's a man. I just don't get that.

Whoa, I never said that. I was talking about GENERAL, PERSONAL preference. Look, I dated two men in the past who %#@&#! cried about everything. I just really didn't find the fact that they couldn't keep their emotions in check particularly attractive to me. I remember when my dad's brother died and my dad didn't cry at all--- I wasn't think, "Oh good, he shouldn't cry-- he's a man" nor was I thinking, "Oh what's wrong with him-- he should be crying." How people choose to handle an event or an emotion is their personal thing-- I was just stating an opinion, like i said.

Pinksoil - I assumed you meant 'keeping emotions in check' but at first glance, I was also kind of shocked to see you use the word 'baby' - it seemed awfully shallow. But that brings me to the point I made earlier - the characteristics I prefer in men are the same as what I prefer in women. I am not attracted (friends or otherwise) to drama queens, but I don't consider a man to be less of a man if he can't keep his emotions in check, nor do I consider a woman to be 'manly' if she can.

I think this thread would be much more productive and less confusing if the question were to have been posed as 'what personality traits do you find attractive in a man?'

let's try ladies to keep this on topic please. it seems to be going more to an argument and that is not what I wanted. I will however change the name of it.

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LMo said:
the characteristics I prefer in men are the same as what I prefer in women

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">This is how it is for me too, except for the physical traits I like (beards, for example, lol). I like people who are funny, smart, and have a big, big heart. Hey, that rhymes!

I have to agree with Pinksoil. While it does not bother me if men in general are criers, I am not attracted to that for me. I think if they cried once in a while, I would be okay.

I have had a guy friend who cried about seemingly EVERY thing. I had no problem being his friend, sympathizing with him, listening to him, supporting him. But I was NOT attracted to him as a different kind of relationship. That doesn't make me bad, in my opinion, or shallow. It just means I am attracted to a different sort of man. I'd rather have my mate and I have a deep meaningful conversation about something than to constantly hand him tissues. That doesn't mean someone who finds a crier attractive is bad either. Everyone is different.

What makes a man is what makes a woman, in my opinion, and that is to be themselves, whether or not others accept them.

Why do we have to think in extremes?

Someone who cries constantly, male or female, is not emotionally stable and not a good partner. When I say it's fine for a man to cry, and it shouldn't be condemned, I'm not talking about those who cry at the drop of a hat (oh... such a beautiful hat... sniffle...) and never was. There is a borderline. A man cries at his mother's funeral, that's as it should be. The same man, two years later, goes into a tropical monsoon at the mere mention of the word "mother," that's extreme. Excess is is NOT what I'm talking about.

Now, doing my best to stay on topic: nothing repulses me more than a hypermacho man, the strutting rooster who is fueled by testosterone, the one with the competitive attitute during games. (Ha-ha-HA! I skunked your @$$, dude!) Gun the motor, flex those muscles, and PROVE you're better than everyone else. Run your family the way you learned in the military, like a boot camp. Lay down the law. Take the attitude of, "It's my way or the wrong way." Scream in a child's face and reduce the kid to a sniffling, "Y-yes, s-s-sir." Anything less just isn't discipline. By all means, terrorize your wife too. Leave her no choice. Make all the decisions yourself. After all, you're the *man.*

I guess there is something that would repulse me more than that hypermacho man, though, and that's the kind of woman who would squeal with delight and come running when he snaps his fingers. Yes, I'm old enough to remember the Fonz, and I detested him.

Given a choice between the two, I'd rather have the crybaby, but again I am not talking about extremes.

I'm not really into dating. But if I had my choice, my perfect man would be a lot like me. Namely:
Rational
Comical
Intelligent

These traits are a plus:
Eloquent
Musically inclined
Low-maintenance

And the cherries on top of the whipped cream on top of the ice cream traits:
Physically attractive
Wealthy
Argumentative (but rational, of course)

Of course, this list can describe my perfect boyfriend or my perfect best friend. So it isn't exactly gender-biased.

This may or may not fit in but I thought the ladies may enjoy it and plus, it pretty much sums up how I feel about it:

AM WORTH A LOT

In a brief conversation, a man asked a woman he was pursuing the question "What kind of man are you looking for?"

She sat quietly for a moment before looking him in the eye and asking, "Do you really want to know?"

Reluctantly, he said, "Yes."

She began to expound... "As a woman in this day and age, I am in a position to ask a man what he can do for me that I can’t do for myself. I pay my own bills. I take care of my household without the help of any man...or woman for that matter. I am in the position to ask, ’What can you bring to the table?’"

The man looked at her. Clearly he thought that she was referring to money. She quickly corrected his thought and stated, "I am not referring to money. I need something more. I need a man who is striving for perfection in every aspect of life."

He sat back in his chair, folded his arms, and asked her to explain.

She said, "I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection mentally because I need conversation and mental stimulation. I don’t need a simple-minded man.

I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection spiritually because I don’t need to be unequally yoked...believers mixed with unbelievers is a recipe for disaster.

I need a man who is striving for perfection financially because I don’t need a financial burden. I am looking for someone who is sensitive enough to understand what I go through as a woman, but strong enough to keep me grounded.

I am looking for someone who I can respect. In order to be submissive, I must respect him. I cannot be submissive to a man who isn’t taking care of his business. I have no problem being
submissive...he just has to be worthy. God made woman to be a helpmate for man. I can’t help a man if he can’t help himself."

When she finished her spill, she looked at him. He sat there with a puzzled look on his face.

He said, "You are asking a lot."

She replied, "I am worth a lot."

chivalry-open door, etc.
kindness
sensitivity
willing to apologize when wrong

ocdchick

I love it when a man just buys a little something for you even when there's no special occasion, I think that's the nicest thing.

I would want my man to come to me about anything he wants to talk about.

All of us have a different opinion of what makes a man. Some women want the strong solid macho type. Others want a kind sensitive man. Well you can have both. Sensitive when the time is needed. Macho when they are standing up for you. I don't agree that men should not cry. Maybe there is something in the past that makes some of us feel that way. Or the way they were raised. Nothing shows a man has a heart like seeing him cry.

all i want in a man is one that truely listens. most guys i know just sorta give you the uh-huh in regular intervals. i know i may ramble at times and maybe you don't want to hear about my day but make me feel important and listen anyway.

I’m sorry, I like’m macho, one that takes the bull by the horns. He doesn’t have to be mean to be macho. One that doesn’t have a swollen head either. One that stands up for me and protects but also lets me fight my own battles (steps in when needed). Again, I’m sorry but I don’t like men that cry, only when absolutely necessary (like at a funeral). I am not a crier either (I only cry in privacy). Sympathetic to a degree, I don’t want to be babied either. Good with kids and on the grill. Has to have a good work ethic, but not a workaholic either. A family man, which has time for his family. One that loves me unconditionally, and shows that he loves me, but not all over me 24/7. One that can communicate. One that is not a procrastinator. One that’s spontaneous. One that can keep up with me but also knows how to kick back.

I don't think this man exists! I guess we are a bit complicated (at least it seems like I am)!

Yeah, this sounds like a personal add too, but you asked!

One that cooks, because I sure as heck can't!!!!
Seriously I'm horrible at cooking I can barley boil water so I think it is really attractive when a man can cook.