[versimilitude]

Please feel free to write back personally.

I am really caught up with my boyfriends struggles. He says he wants to marry me, this didn't come up until recently- we've been together for a few years now.

He says his dad has health problems (Figi) and he needs to go back to visit him, but he needs a visa first. I do feel like he has feelings for me, but I know that his need for citizenship is the most important part for me.

I do feel used and feel like life should be better than this. He does have rage and it is hard when he gets out of control. Yet, I love him. This is such a complicated relationship!

[salukigirl]

wow. there are too many holes in your story to possibly give any advice. he wants to marry you just to get citizenship? thats not right. and whats this about his dad? sounds like, to me, youve already made your decision.

im deathly afraid of commitment. i feel so much better in my relationship that were just boyfriend and girlfriend. if we got married i would flip out. marriage, i found out the hard way, just isnt for me. he is having a hard time accepting that and feels like he doesnt know "where we stand" but thats his problem, not mine. if he cant handle it and things get worse, i will leave no matter how much i love him. but these are his problems and it sounds like youre taking on your boyfriend's problems. you dont need to do that. take care of yourself first.

[AAAAA]

No easy answers here. In your opinion his main reason for wanting to marry is citizenship or is his main reason for wanting marriage citizenship?

If you're feeling used, those won't go away with a few words from a preacher or judge. It doesn't sound like a very stable foundation (based on information given) for a successful marriage.