[Tonda]

I have had numerous sex partners and I honestly can't even remember who they all are. When I had my first sexual experience at 14 I was raped. From that point on I have used my body to get what I want and who I want. When I meet a new guy and we go out I will sleep with him on the very first night and have even met some, had sex, left, and never saw him again. I've particapted in sexual things that I never thought I would, have had abuse during sex and then went back to the person who did just to do it again....I've never talked to anyone about this and all of this is just the tip of the ice berg. The thing is I'm embarassed about it...but I don't know how to stop myself. I've took some online sex addiction tests that tells me to seek therapy but I hate therapy cause it's so embarassing... how do you tell someone that your addicted to sex and need help but aren't sure if you want to stop or not... some adivce or tips would be great.

[Christina86]

((((((((((((Tonda))))))))))))))))))

I don't know if you're addicted to sex in the normal sense. I know some people after being abused (like rape) will repeat the behaviour because they feel that's all they deserve... or they do it because it's familiar, or for whatever reason like that.

I don't know if it's really an addiction though... do you know why you go back to abusive partners? What about the emotions behind the times you have sex with a person? Do you do it because you enjoy it, or because of another reason?

I think therapy could be very useful for you, at the very least to heal and move past your experience of being raped.

I can understand how embarassing it would be to talk about (I'm looking into sexual abuse counselling for myself at the moment) ... but if your behaviour isn't something you enjoy or you want to change what's currently happening... then sometimes therapy is the only real way to do it. You can get a woman T to deal with it though ... you don't even have to mention it as the issue bringing you into counselling in the beginning ... do it at your own pace, and wait until you trust a T.

[Slippers]

Well......its kinda normal - for a trauma survivor who never had therapy! It sounds like you are working out your trauma issues through your sexual behavior. But, you are "retraumatizing" yourself. That's not such a healthy thing, eh?

Your behavior isn't something that a therapist would think is wierd or gross or even unusal. It's the sort of stuff they talk about regularly. Although it might be difficult to get started, you might find it a relief to get some of this out in the open.

When you are ready, a therapist really could help you to get to a healthier place in life. They'd work at your own pace. You only talk about what you want, when you want. You only change your behavior when you want.

In the mean time, please be careful!!

Slippers