Let the Cat Fighting begin!!

Hello Ladies

I'm doing group work in one of my college courses. Some of the groups are having trouble getting organzied and sorted out. There is alot of cat fighting going on and gossiping amongst the "ladies" in the program.

In my particular group, we are on task and thus far I am doing what is being asked of me. My paranoia kicks in and wonders...What if they are talking about me in a negative manner?

All this negativity at college is getting to me on top of the stress of tests and assignments.

How do I cope with the gossiping and cat fighting that is going on? I dont want to be apart of it or spoken about in a negative manner.

Zen888

((((zen))))

I'm sorry you're dealing with cat fights and such. I can relate.. I live in a dorm, and in a suite with three other girls. My floor is all gossip, all the time. The girls talk about me a lot, and even though it really gets to me, I try not to let them see it. I smile and I'm very polite [even though I really feel crummy]. I think the best thing to do is just be friendly and sweet, because it will really get to them. Even if you don't feel like being friendly and sweet, it will get to them because they'll know they're not getting the best of you, even if you feel like they are.
As far as the gossiping... You can either remove yourself from the situation, or be authoritative. You can say something like, "Guys, come on now, we've really got to get to work on this project." For me, it would be very difficult to say that because I get kind of scared.. but if you can, great . If it doesn't work, I'd suggest bringing the issue up with someone who has authority.

Hope this helps

Hi Ladies

I could really use your input and advice regarding this matter please.

Thank-you,

Zen888

I will reply tomorrow sweety I'm half asleep right now (2am)
Take care,
Molly

any advice or suggestions are greatly appreciated!

It's a shame you have to deal with this stuff. But, it sounds like it isn't directly your stuff since you said your group is doing ok. I know paranoia well. Sometimes it's a part of our mental health; we can be really sensitive about stuff and we absorb other people's energy so easily. When I was first in management, I knew they were talking about me! But, I told myself a couple of things, sort of like affirmations that helped. 1. Nothing anyone says about me can hurt me if they don't know me. Really the only people who can hurt you are the people who care about you. 2. It's none of my business what you think about me. These thoughts reminded me of my own boundries and that they are really stronger than I think they are. write back and tell us how it goes.

I got put in a group to discuss a novel today. It was like being surrounded by 5 year olds that have just been given too much sugar sweets. I wanted to slap myself to see if I was dreaming!

As for the other group project...everything is going well. It seems that there are other groups that are having "cat fight" issues.

I'm just in a bad mood right now because I have loads of homework this weekend and I'm scared to drive on the icy winter roads.

Any suggestions, inspirations, comments.....are all welcomed!

Zen888