[HockingPastryChef]

I had taken a assertive course online and had discussed about the people I work with. Most of the people I work with are negative. They complain quite a bit, talk behind others backs and make fun of others. The upper management doesn't seem to care that much to change it.

There are these two guys I work with on days I am the baker and they make fun of others, make some of the worst sexual jokes and are greedy. I need to start speaking up when they make fun of others and tell them how I don't like their comments and that I don't agree about the employee they maybe talking about. I only except respect and still will give respect to disrespectful people.

One thing that irritates me the most is that multiple co-workers take the cookies that I make for the residents at this nursing home. I had finally said something to the two guys about that. They make fun of my comment that I had made to them. I told them "I would appreciate if you would ask before taking a cookie, I am more than willing to give one if you ask." Now they make fun of me when I make certain baked goods for this wing that asks me to make. When the person come to pick up the item they say "Did you ask before taking?" in a disrespectful manner. Only one more time did I say "Yes, I do appreciate when you ask respectfully." I admit I have anxiety issues. I have fear of speaking up when they make fun of me. So I am afraid of saying something back in a more aggressive manner.

I know the more I work at speaking up the better I'll get. I was thinking of saying something to them when I catch them taking cookies out of the freezer that are there for the residents. It's not that I don't want to share it's that they take; it's greedy. Maybe they'll eventually realize that it is unacceptable. I was even thinking of saying something about how is disrespectful to take something someone took the time to make for the residents.

I am planning on applying elsewhere soon. I am not going to worry too much; there is no need for worry. I am not doing it just to get away from these people either; I want to work at a bakery.

[gayleggg]

I'm not sure what makes some people so disrespectful, but I'm with you that it is very irritating. I think it is good of you to stand up to them and let them know how you feel. Good luck on the bakery job.

[GhostlyFour]

Yes you are running away from this job. You can either speak up and tell the Management or become more severe with these two clowns. They are running all over you! You will just find the same thing at the next job and the next and the next! Just stay there and just keep fighting back (in a nice way of course). Kill them with kindness. You are always going to have greedy people!

G4

[HockingPastryChef]

Originally Posted by GhostlyFour

Yes you are running away from this job. You can either speak up and tell the Management or become more severe with these two clowns. They are running all over you! You will just find the same thing at the next job and the next and the next! Just stay there and just keep fighting back (in a nice way of course). Kill them with kindness. You are always going to have greedy people!

G4

I am not running away from the job. I've wanted to work at a bakery for the longest time. Working at a nursing home is not my set goal.

These guys aren't really after me; they are this way about everyone and it is draining at times. That is why I am working on becoming more assertive. I do not need to speak aggressively to these guys and the same time I believe I need to speak up more to them. I would have to eventually ignore them if after a while I do not see a change.

I do know that there are negative people everywhere just as there is positive. There at that nursing home though; there are only a few that are more positive and don't complain too much. Most talk behind each others backs and are chronic complainers. Which I am pretty positive as is and "will not" let that get to me.

[healingme4me]

Where's the management in all of this? Speaking up, can also mean speaking up to your immediate supervisor. Because, you've already spoken up to those that behave in a rude manner, plus, they really technically aren't supposed to be eating on the job, it's a board of health concern.

Are you a contract employee, where you do work in a nursing home?

[HockingPastryChef]

Originally Posted by healingme4me

Where's the management in all of this? Speaking up, can also mean speaking up to your immediate supervisor. Because, you've already spoken up to those that behave in a rude manner, plus, they really technically aren't supposed to be eating on the job, it's a board of health concern.

Are you a contract employee, where you do work in a nursing home?

My supervisor also takes cookies out of the freezer. I'm sure the baker before me got annoyed by it too and I think another co-worker get annoyed when the one cook takes cookies too. I'm sure he ate up a whole bag of cookies she had made for the residents.

I work in the main kitchen. There are cooks in there also who make the food for all the wings but one. There are 4 wings in the building.

[minecraftluv]

I'm not sure what makes some people so disrespectful,

[Perna]

I would either make "extra" cookies so cookie-theft does not matter so much and do a "cute" little, "I seeeee you!" when they steal, like they are acting like little children (they are) or I would think of it in terms of their disrespecting you, not the people who eventually get the cookies. The people you are giving the cookies to don't know they are being taken but you do and they are your creation that are being stolen. I would work on figuring out how to present myself so they would respect me more; it sounds like you are not 100% in your own respect for yourself.

[healingme4me]

Then it's a culture of taking cookies from the freezer. I was commended for one 'dropped' baker snack out of 1600. Another site, was called out, for 6 dropped snacks a week, at a management meeting. Eventually, things like this catch up. Thing, is, I literally saw my dropped snack, hit the ground. My staff and me, purchase. The baker, has stated, sometimes, she'll slip an extra couple, but this is a new year, with a new monitoring system, in place. I used, to be her assistant, but budgetary concerns, took the assistant position, out of the equation. I was performing two jobs, for that temp period.

Originally Posted by HockingPastryChef

My supervisor also takes cookies out of the freezer. I'm sure the baker before me got annoyed by it too and I think another co-worker get annoyed when the one cook takes cookies too. I'm sure he ate up a whole bag of cookies she had made for the residents.

I work in the main kitchen. There are cooks in there also who make the food for all the wings but one. There are 4 wings in the building.

[HockingPastryChef]

Originally Posted by Perna

I would either make "extra" cookies so cookie-theft does not matter so much and do a "cute" little, "I seeeee you!" when they steal, like they are acting like little children (they are) or I would think of it in terms of their disrespecting you, not the people who eventually get the cookies. The people you are giving the cookies to don't know they are being taken but you do and they are your creation that are being stolen. I would work on figuring out how to present myself so they would respect me more; it sounds like you are not 100% in your own respect for yourself.

I am quiet most of the time there. Though I do believe I need to speak my thoughts more towards these people. What I really need to do is come up with a list of comments to say back when I hear them complaining about others again and making fun of them. I'm guessing this is what you meant by presenting myself better?

Maybe even say something like: "Hey I understand you two are irritated, though where has complaining about others gotten you. I would speak to the person about what is bothering you. I myself feel more negative when I complain about others without speaking to them, it only hurts you more." <-- I think I need to say that more to the people who complain on a daily basis.

Then if someone is being made fun of I'll tell them: I didn't like that comment and tell them they are human just like you; no one is better than any one. Or put more detail about the person they might be making fun of.

[Citrine]

Bless you HPC for putting up with this c**p. I have seen it myself. If children behave like this at school it gets taken seriously yet the global workplace is full of it.You seem like a decent sensitive guy.

Dont leave until you have something else lined up or reduce your hours and fill the gap with another place ready to jump ship if you feel you must because why should you stay in a negative place for hours per day? You will get a ref whilst still in the current place. Tell your (poor) management that you want a change of scenery for a while or any excuse you can as to why you appear to be sliding.

Once you get to this stage start submitting grievance if you wish.

Thats the extreme scenario. I have a better idea....you can buy stainless steel food storage cannisters with clip tops, this clip can be padlocked...padlock the cookies inside it!!! They are in fact stealing and you are stopping them taking the stock. This is what I would do and Im not joking. There will be no more need for talking it out with them then. You can smirk all day! Hahahaha! plllllurrp to them!

[HockingPastryChef]

Originally Posted by Citrine

Bless you HPC for putting up with this c**p. I have seen it myself. If children behave like this at school it gets taken seriously yet the global workplace is full of it.You seem like a decent sensitive guy.

Dont leave until you have something else lined up or reduce your hours and fill the gap with another place ready to jump ship if you feel you must because why should you stay in a negative place for hours per day? You will get a ref whilst still in the current place. Tell your (poor) management that you want a change of scenery for a while or any excuse you can as to why you appear to be sliding.

Once you get to this stage start submitting grievance if you wish.

Thats the extreme scenario. I have a better idea....you can buy stainless steel food storage cannisters with clip tops, this clip can be padlocked...padlock the cookies inside it!!! They are in fact stealing and you are stopping them taking the stock. This is what I would do and Im not joking. There will be no more need for talking it out with them then. You can smirk all day! Hahahaha! plllllurrp to them!

Yes, the place I work at isn't too professional. I am planning on starting to look else where around the beginning of Spring. I do see this as a good way to adapt to misbehavior and ways to become more assertive. It shows that I need to work on my anxiety too. I just need to come up with more assertive comebacks. These people do not seem too happy. Life is not perfect by any means and that's why people need to learn to live it. Most do not accept that. Just like I do not need to yell at them about their misbehavior. I need to speak up.

I did like Perna's response on saying "I see you" when I catch them in the freezer. I'll get into more detail on how I am making them for the residents not co-workers too when I do catch them.

The sad part is that I work to bake the cookies before the two guys come in to work so they will not bother take them when I'm working right by them.

My question is do you have a response to people who complain and say bad things about others like that a person is or was stupid or so on? I did put a comment I could say on my response back to Perna.

[healingme4me]

Sometimes, walking away, from their conversation, is appropriate.

Or just grumble, Oh, not 'this' again... and walk away, get to work. Blunt statements, in a kitchen work. Hey, I don't want to hear about it, take it elsewhere. How am I supposed to measure, here, when I can't hear myself think?

And about those padlocks. I lock fridges and freezers, too. It's employee theft. I'm sure, you must have signed paperwork?

[healingme4me]

HockingPastryChef,

Have you ever considered some management training courses in the food industry? Classes could help with the assertiveness, interpersonal relationships, aspect. You are already thinking like one, in my mind. Looking for ways to make the place you work in better.

Just a thought, as I am pondering this thread a bit more....

[Citrine]

HPC, I like Healings suggestions above for things to say. It makes you look like you are tired of them and they are a bore and are interfering with your work, which they are. Start seeing it like they are intruding in your space and your work not just personally and you will see they have no right and you may feel more like saying something straight like above. Thats 2 of us pointing out locks on stock. Ive worked in a hotel and the fridges and freezers were padlocked (this jogged my memory)

I come across mean people all the time and I let them go very far coz Im a nice person (I think most of time) and then I snap and say something cutting and they shrivel and cry lol. Im not good at handling people in a controlled way because I cant understand why people behave the way they do. I too stick up for others and have been met with quizzical looks and whats it to you because the people that pick on others for very little cant possibly understand why one would stick up for another. These antagonists could be dumb as dough, ask them what their IQ is. They dont sound like they are thoughtful sensitive types. You are unfortunately working with people that are not your type of folk.

[HockingPastryChef]

Originally Posted by healingme4me

HockingPastryChef,

Have you ever considered some management training courses in the food industry? Classes could help with the assertiveness, interpersonal relationships, aspect. You are already thinking like one, in my mind. Looking for ways to make the place you work in better.

Just a thought, as I am pondering this thread a bit more....

I most certainly would love to see these people become more assertive. Though I have no control over it. I would have to speak to my manager about that otherwise.

Also the freezer and fridge there are walk in so they store their food in them also. I do not have a separate freezer.

It irritates me because the one guy today was talking about how he ate up all these short bread cookies that the other co-worker had made. I feel like asking her if that by him eating all those cookies if that irritates her. I want to speak up next time when he talks about them on how it irritates us.

[HockingPastryChef]

Originally Posted by Citrine

HPC, I like Healings suggestions above for things to say. It makes you look like you are tired of them and they are a bore and are interfering with your work, which they are. Start seeing it like they are intruding in your space and your work not just personally and you will see they have no right and you may feel more like saying something straight like above. Thats 2 of us pointing out locks on stock. Ive worked in a hotel and the fridges and freezers were padlocked (this jogged my memory)

I come across mean people all the time and I let them go very far coz Im a nice person (I think most of time) and then I snap and say something cutting and they shrivel and cry lol. Im not good at handling people in a controlled way because I cant understand why people behave the way they do. I too stick up for others and have been met with quizzical looks and whats it to you because the people that pick on others for very little cant possibly understand why one would stick up for another. These antagonists could be dumb as dough, ask them what their IQ is. They dont sound like they are thoughtful sensitive types. You are unfortunately working with people that are not your type of folk.

I would love to padlock them though they are walk in's and are used by all the employees.

Also yes they irritate me and it drains me. I do need to speak up more when they complain and talk bad about others. I know questions can cause them to think more too. I can ask them if they have spoken to that person about their problem. I'm sure most of them haven't.

[Citrine]

HPC, what about buying some lockable canisters as suggested. So, it looks extreme, so what. Its assertive in a quiet way and you will be sniggering to yourself for days. Just imagine them, their faces. Even if just to raise the issue, cause a debate, until the issue is taken seriously by managers.

[Miracle MED XANAX]

Originally Posted by HockingPastryChef

I had taken a assertive course online and had discussed about the people I work with. Most of the people I work with are negative. They complain quite a bit, talk behind others backs and make fun of others. The upper management doesn't seem to care that much to change it.

There are these two guys I work with on days I am the baker and they make fun of others, make some of the worst sexual jokes and are greedy. I need to start speaking up when they make fun of others and tell them how I don't like their comments and that I don't agree about the employee they maybe talking about. I only except respect and still will give respect to disrespectful people.

One thing that irritates me the most is that multiple co-workers take the cookies that I make for the residents at this nursing home. I had finally said something to the two guys about that. They make fun of my comment that I had made to them. I told them "I would appreciate if you would ask before taking a cookie, I am more than willing to give one if you ask." Now they make fun of me when I make certain baked goods for this wing that asks me to make. When the person come to pick up the item they say "Did you ask before taking?" in a disrespectful manner. Only one more time did I say "Yes, I do appreciate when you ask respectfully." I admit I have anxiety issues. I have fear of speaking up when they make fun of me. So I am afraid of saying something back in a more aggressive manner.

I know the more I work at speaking up the better I'll get. I was thinking of saying something to them when I catch them taking cookies out of the freezer that are there for the residents. It's not that I don't want to share it's that they take; it's greedy. Maybe they'll eventually realize that it is unacceptable. I was even thinking of saying something about how is disrespectful to take something someone took the time to make for the residents.

I am planning on applying elsewhere soon. I am not going to worry too much; there is no need for worry. I am not doing it just to get away from these people either; I want to work at a bakery.

Good look on finding a new job. You should be in a better work place

I do construction an just lost a job because of these kind of people. they were critical of my work my tools and me. I'm a professional I have high quality tools and do quality work. I had enough.
Said a few choice words (in my defence)and that was the end of that. I fell a lot better being away from them, you will to anain goods look.

[HockingPastryChef]

Originally Posted by Miracle MED XANAX

Good look on finding a new job. You should be in a better work place

I do construction an just lost a job because of these kind of people. they were critical of my work my tools and me. I'm a professional I have high quality tools and do quality work. I had enough.
Said a few choice words (in my defence)and that was the end of that. I fell a lot better being away from them, you will to anain goods look.

Yes, when I look for another place hopefully they will be more professional and respectful to the people around them.

I need to remain positive in this place till I find another place though. I will speak up when I feel needed and if not; then I'll look back at the situation and come up with something to say back and maybe bring it back up.

I was even thinking of discussing about how I feel with a few co-workers that I have not told about how I don't like others taking the cookies because I make them for the residents how I make them for the residents. And I'm talking about co-workers that I've seen that have taken cookies too. If they decide to make fun of me then I'll speak up about that. They do not like me rocking the boat is the problem.

Though my mom thinks it might be best saying something to my manager about it first to see if he thinks it's fine that they are taking the cookies.