[Chloebreee]

I'm 18, and still I'm high school. I obviously live with my parents! Last year, my mom had encouraged me to get a summer job. I had applied and got one at an office supply store. I got the job on my first interview. I was happy. They called to file paperwork, so I went back and they gave me my schedule. I got into my car and cried and cried. I don't quite know why. I felt I wasn't ready. I saw I had to work on my birthday, which I wasn't going to do, so I had emailed my boss before even starting a days work, and requested off, and he gave it to me. My first day... I couldn't go in. I had stayed up all night crying and worrying. I couldn't do it.. So fast forward a year.. Last week I got a job at a pizza place, I was nervous but I knew I needed to go in. I started, and the first night was horrible! I did go back a second night, and it wasn't as busy so it was better. But, I still have stayed up all night worries crying and depressed over this job. I don't really want a job, but need extra money for gas and etc. I have to work today and have almost decided that I am quitting come tomorrow. One thing is, my boyfriend works at his job 7-4, and I have to work 4-9 so I know I wouldn't be able to see him.. That makes me not want to go, but even the days I wouldn't see him, I still get sick to my stomach because of having to work. I feel like I am just over reacting about working, but I don't know what to do. I am honestly a hard worker. I get straight A's, and am I'm extracurriculars. I would consider myself a leader in school. I love school. This is why I don't know what is going on with me. I have stayed up the past 3 nights with no sleep, worrying about having to work. I want my freedom. I feel like working almost everyday is such a hassle. I only wanted around 10 hours a week, but if I told an employer that, I think they would laugh in my face. I don't know what to do or what exactly is going on with me. I also get the same anxiety when it comes to playing sports. I will plan to, let's say, become a cheerleader, and when the first practices start.. I'll bail. I want to be a psychologist when I grow older. I have goals set for myself and am really strict about achieving them. Someone please help or give me pointers. I cannot stay up and worry any longer.

[Travelinglady]

Hello, chloebreee, and welcome to Psych Central! I can understand how you would want to have more freedom and not have to work. I assume many of your friends are not being required to work by their parents. And I know it's hard to not see your boyfriend. Many you can look for a different kind of job.

Besides not really wanting to work, what might be causing your anxiety and depression? Are you angry at your parents? Worried your boss will not be pleased with you and you might mess up? Feeling overwhelmed because you have so much to do and keep up with? Just frustrated in general about how much effort it requires?

I am glad to hear you want to be a psychologist. I assume, then, that you are planning on going to college and then to grad school. That does take a lot of money, so your parents might be planning ahead. I can tell you that even with scholarships and other benefits, college does cost parents a lot.

Also, having some work experience will look good on your resume, if you start seeking out internships and future jobs.

Let's hear what other folks have to say. I hope you will feel less miserable soon.

What suggestions can we offer to help Chloebreee feel less anxious and depressed about work? What's happening with her?

Hang on, Chloebreee.

[hvert]

Have you ever tried pushing through the anxiety/fear/whatever this is? I ask because I have sometimes had a similar reaction. I remember my first few jobs, I would burst into tears after an offer was made. Before going on big trips, I would get very anxious and want to cancel my flight.

Usually, these strongly negative feelings go away on their own, once I see that the thing I was dreading is not so bad after all. Maybe the same thing will happen with you and your new job.

Travelinglady has some really good points -- try to figure out what the specifics are of what is making you so upset about this situation and then do something to change it. Your schedule does sound like a bummer. Could you continue looking for a job that has hours more to your liking while you are working this one?

[Chloebreee]

Thanks for your replies, guys! I don't know what Is directly causing my anxiety! I mean I'm a good worker so I'm not afraid of being yelled at or failing at work. I just don't want to leave my home to go to work. I think I may be afraid of lack of freedom, even though I still don't have many hours there. I worked yesterday(my third day) and I had to work today. I honestly could not go in because I'm so stressed, so I could either TRY to call off (I know that looks terrible) or quit.. And I decided to call off "sick." My manager wasn't too happy and I know I can't make a habit of this or I will get fired. I don't have a tight clique of friends but most everyone I know has jobs or are getting them, so it's not that. Also, my parents only wanted me to get a job for extra money (clothes, etc.) I mean, my dad owns his own carlot and has worked in it since his father owned it. My mom has worked at an office for 20 years! I haven't learned this anxiety from them. I've gotten maybe 8 hours of sleep within the past 4 days. I know a job shouldn't be causing this. I mean, making pizzas isn't my specialty and I'm not very interested in it, but I should be sucking it up. My boyfriends m works with the mentally handicapped, and I think she could get me a job there. I would love that. Although, I am too afraid to ask, because if I did get a job there, I couldn't quit. I still don't know what's wrong..

[RachelCarsonfan]

Wouldn't it be great if we could just "zap" all of our anxiety away and have it be gone? Or better yet, if we could somehow take all that nervous energy and turn in around and make it work for us instead of holding us back, we'd really be able to excel!

What I think I'm hearing in your story is that the money you make by working at the pizza shop isn't enough of a motivator to overcome either your anxiety or your lack of desire to give up your free time. Understandable. So, a job in a field of interest may provide the additional incentive needed to move you past this block. You say working with the mentally handicapped is appealing to you but are afraid of having this same emotional response to it. Why don't you try volunteering first? This would enable you to "try it out" and see if you like it. Volunteering has few strings attached, and if you do like it, then you could see about getting a job.

Also, you say your parents have both been at their jobs a long time. As a result, they may not be able to relate to your current feelings and thoughts about your job, but almost everyone has felt anxiety at some point in their lives. I encourage you to share how you feel with them. Their support in helping you deal with this and finding solutions would be really beneficial!

[Perna]

I would find a job more in line with your interests or volunteer for something you would enjoy doing, just to get in the habit of doing things non school-related. It is scary changing over to something new, you have been doing what you are doing for 12 years now! Leaving one's parent's home and going out on one's own can be quite scary/unpredictable. You an predict your good grades by now, etc.?

I would turn working or volunteering, etc. into a "project", pretend it is a college course and set up what you would like to learn, how much you would like to save, what you would like to buy, what other sorts of jobs it might lead to, etc. Try to turn it into more familiar "lessons" for yourself?