Mind is Jumbled Mess

I am currently on Lamictal 100mg once per day and Klonopin 0.5mg twice per day. Even with those meds at this point in the day I would like to smack the next person that comes into my office.

I am a System Administrator/Programmer/Lots of other things for a medium sized company in the Midwest. We are working on software to make integration with our provisioning system easier for outside companies.

Our company knew about this 3 months ago but did not give us the design specs until 2 weeks ago. Spent 18 hours per day for the last two weeks more or less getting this to work. Everything worked like a charm.

Meeting this morning says, oh well we forgot a bunch of things in the design spec, so I have 24 hours to rewrite my whole module while learning the Redis database when most of my DB experience is with MySQL.

If it were not for the meds I would be in a full on panic attack right now, but my mind is still a scattered mess big time questioning if I should just rewrite the whole damn thing or update what I already have.

Back to trying to figure this out *sigh*

Murlin99

Hello, merlin99, and welcome to Psych Central! I don't blame you for wanting to smack someone. Is there any way you can tell folks they are unreasonable, and they need to give people more time to get things done?

Travelinglady,

I wish there was a way to get this company to do things the right way. I have been here 10 years and gone through 2 full nervous breakdowns since I have been here. One of them I snapped at work and went full on overdrive at my boss, I shredded him to pieces with every big or little thing that he had done wrong in all of the years I have worked here, in a whole room full of people. I probably only still have a job because of my programming skills. He was quite upset about that for a couple months. But then he got over it and actually changed a few ways based on what I had said, more or less he was an arrogant punk, if you asked for help he would either say "Ill just do it myself." or give an attitude that you were wasting his time and most of the time still did not get the answer you needed.

We got it all hashed out yesterday though and things are back on track, though without my meds it would have been much worse. I would have went home in a bad mood which would have been a bad night. I went home and my wife and I spent a couple hours ruminating about life and family and just relaxing outside around a fire in our fire ring. We live in the country next to a big lake so we can do that whenever we want.

My mother is bi-polar and goes into deep depression sometimes so has always been on meds to keep her level. I swore that would never be me, but it is. Taking the combo of Lactimal and Klonopin has me feeling better than I have in years, im not constantly anxious and do not have the severe mood swings that I used to have which allows me to focus much better on my programming, but in the end its still because of meds.

Thanks for your input.