I am too stupid for my job?

After being unemployed for a year I finally got a job. Its part time but it is money and plenty of opportunities for extra hours and its really close to were I live. Unfortunately I'm not catching on fast enough. Its in retail and I have to split time between production and helping walk-in customers. My co workers call me out every time I do anything wrong...or even if I happen to do things a different way than they might. I'm too unassertive to put up a fuss though.

I don't like to burden others and I hate asking questions or having others do my work for me. Everytime I do something wrong it takes me back to all the times I was a child and I watched my classmates achieve while I had to get "extra help". I've seriously thought that maybe I'm mentally retarded but my parents were in denial. As a matter of fact, I've been slow to catch on in all the jobs I've had. I try to be pleasant and upbeat but maybe that makes me look even more stupid because people think I don't realize how stupid I am?

Im new at it but its still very upsetting to realize I'm not as awesome as I though I was. I dont like not knowing things but I can't quit. There isn't a lot in the way of downtime to figure things out either. I also wanted to stay at this position for a while but it feels like I'll never get used to it. I'm always scared that when I do things it will turn out wrong which makes me even slower.

How do I cope with being stupid? Its like people close to me don't notice it. I told my dad how hard it is for me on the job and he just didn't see why I would feel like giving up a month in. When my sister worked in retail she did great and she didn't get as flustered as I am. I've always thought I should be as smart as her. She even got a masters degree and she never struggled with things like I have. I barely got my bachelor's degree and almost flunked out several times.

I'll wrap this up...so there are only so many excuses one could make for those who aren't intelligent ( the task is hard, you have to make mistakes, etc ). How can I survive the workforce and this job when I'm not smart?

Like you, in college I struggled with the lack of structure and nearly dropped out. Then, when I started waiting tables, I began to think I was incredibly dumb, even though I'd always been intelligent on paper, tests, etc... But as a waitress, I was expected to multitask, and fix my mistakes instantly. There was no time to think.
It sounds to me like your problem may be less of an intelligence thing, and more of a multitasking/ lack of structure problem.
I also think you have a different learning style from your sister. Maybe you have a learning disability. It's not something to be ashamed of, especially if you never got help for it. You're writing is clear and concise, so clearly you're not stupid.
Retail may not be the right thing for you. Have you thought of trying office work? Sitting down at a desk might give you more downtime to learn the requirements of the job. My brother has always had trouble following vocal instructions and multitasking (both of which are required skills in retail & service jobs) but he just got an office job, and he's doing great! He's very intelligent on paper, but if you asked him to do five different things in a row, he'd probably seem pretty stupid.
Stop comparing yourself to your sister. You and she learn differently. You might need more structure (like in an office).
Try writing down your natural and learned skills. Then try to match those skills to jobs. This will help you find a better suited job. In the meantime, if you must keep the retail job, ask questions, take your time, put on your customer service smile , and take lots of breaks to think (bathroom & smoking).

Retail can be brutal, ignore the dips everyone learns at their own speed.

If you want to survive in this world, you MUST ask questions. Asking questions is not having others do your work for you. Asking questions is about learning how to do the work so that later on, you will ask questions about work that is more complex. You are inside a vicious circle - you want to appear smart and mistakenly believe that if you start asking questions, you will not appear smart, so you do not ask questions, which leads to your doing things wrong, which leads to your feeling stupid, which intensifies your desire to appear smart, which further impairs your ability to ask questions...

Do you see this? If you stop making appearing smart your goal and instead make learning the ropes your goal, you will start asking questions and get yourself out of the vicious circle.

I have not worked in retail but have worked in office environment and people like you are usually told: "There are no stupid questions. There is no shame in asking questions. There is shame in doing your job poorly because you did not ask questions and did not learn how to do it right."

Another thing for you is to try more outward thinking on the job. Instead of focusing on how others perceive or judge you, focus on noticing how they do their tasks.

I hope this helps - you clearly are NOT stupid (your post shows that), but you are very self-conscious to your own detriment.

Also, what you have been advised about structure and office jobs is worth considering in the long run, but in any kind of a job, you need to learn that it is quite OK to ask questions.

You've gotten good advice here, but let me add that everyone is 'stupid' about something and for varying lengths of time. When I started my job it made no sense at all. Now I see that it is really straightforward. But the way I was taught wasn't the way I prefer to learn.

Your coworkers probably think they are helping you. Take a few moments to think over what you are still struggling with, and if you see some common thread, ask the coworker whose comments are most easily understood to help you.

Some things--for example, interacting with random people who come in off the street, is a longer learning curve. "I'm still new here, but I am trying!" might be your best bet if you become flustered there.

Good luck. I don't think you are stupid. Your post was well-written and your thinking was insightful and organized. Stay mindful of your strengths and weaknesses, ask for help from a good-fit coworker, and you should do fine. Courage!

You are NOT stupid. It sounds like you've been at this job for a short period of time, so it's very normal to feel like you don't know everything about the job yet. I hated working in retail, my coworkers were so not helpful and tended to take advantage of me too - but I was also too unassertive to say anything. You have a bachelor's degree and you're feeling inferior to your sister for having one extra year of college than you? Bachelor's degrees take four years, on average, master's degrees take a total of five years so that's one extra year on top of your bachelor's. That's nothing to feel inferior about. I don't even have a degree yet, so I would loove to have a bachelor's right now. I'm working on my associates (ugh).
Anyway, everyone says it takes six months to feel comfortable at a job. Six months. Not one month.

I've read all the comments but can only just replay to them now.

Anything in food service sounds rough…I can't imagine how tough it can be when you're dealing with peoples' food. *cringe*

I knew that retail was going to be tough. I really need a job right now so I wanted to get my foot in the door to something and beggars can't be choosers. I don't even know if I'll last long at this place. Right now I'm skeptical. I've applied to office jobs before but I never hear back even though my previous experience is kind of similar. I know what I want to do as a career and I finally figured out how to do it to suit my own inclinations. I just can't focus on that right now which kind of sucks:/

I'll try to take this job one day at a time

Another distinct possibility is that rather than being too stupid for the job, you are being too smart for it. When the job is not at your level, or, when it is just a wrong kind of job for the way your mind works, learning the ropes is much harder than when the job is both at your level and to your liking.

So taking it one day at a time is the best approach.

That first part sounds about right unfortunately. And you're right, I am very inward. I try to work everything out myself only to mess something up, or not do things at all and I end up not finishing my work at all. I don't like explaining myself when I make mistakes either because it just feels like I'm making excuses. What if it's too late for me to do it right?

It is not too late. I know how you feel, but it is not too late - if you do not start asking questions, then it will be too late one day because they won't want you anymore. Of course, it is MUCH easier to ask the right questions on day 1, and with passing time, you become more and more reluctant to ask questions, but, as someone mentioned earlier, it takes 6 months to be comfortable in a new position. Since 6 months have not passed, you won't look bad if you ask questions. But before you ask, figure out how you will remember the answer. Will you repeat it back to the person? Will you apply it (do what was explained) right away and remember that way? Will you write it down or send an email to yourself? I am asking these questions because if you already feel awkward, you would feel even more awkward if you ask a question but do not remember the answer and have to ask again. So please figure out based on how you learn better what you will do to make the best use of the explanations.

Urgh, 6 months :/

My sister didn't struggle with her education and career the way I did PLUS she worked full time jobs while doing it. She is a super assertive, go-getter, sometimes she can be aggressive. This attitude doesn't serve her well in some areas but it would be nice to set goals and actually meet them the way she has without falling apart at every step. I just continue to do things in life blatantly wrong in every way possible.

You don't sound stupid at all. I think, if anything, you lack self-confidence and everytime a coworker calls you out on an error it cause you to constantly second guess yourself. I do the same thing all the time. We are our own worst critics.

You have to jump in and ask the questions. Use, "I know you're busy, but please show me this..." or "As soon as you get a second, could you help me with this." You're all on the same team and are working towards the same goals. Coworkers are supposed to help their fellow coworkers and in time it is only to their benefit since you'll be able to share in the workload.

And try not to beat yourself up. Mistakes happen, we are only human after all. There is almost nothing that can't be fixed as long as you stay honest and upfront.

Everything was going well this past week until I made a major screw up today and one of my co-workers is going to have to fix it. Gosh, I feel so awful. This guy has carried my weight so much. I would literally rather go through physical pain that have people disappointed in me for any reason…or to show any form of weakness. Idk if I can keep this up. Would you like it if you had to keep cleaning up after somebody else on your job? lol

You're not stupid.

Any new job requires new training and learning of skills.

Don't be so hard on yourself.

Take it easy.

I can relate. I always feel like everyone is an expert and I am an idiot. And I actually have a masters degree and have always done well academically. I just have no confidence and my depression makes it difficult for me to focus let alone find my passion. Everyone is right, though. You clearly are not stupid. You are doubting yourself and it is affecting your confidence. I do the same thing. I am a perfectionist to a fault, and if I can't ace everything I attempt in the first shot then I deem myself an utter failure. It makes life really stressful and makes me want to hide.

Everyone of us has this something we are good at. I think it's more of knowing what you do. Getting something done, on your own way. Just know what to do. It's not about how intelligent you are. It's about hardwork and love for the job.

AND NOBODY'S STUPID.

Why not? The guy feels that he is being helpful-useful-considerate-needed-important. He feels pretty good, most likely, being in this position. If he has to do the same cleanup 10 times, yes, he might become resentful and get irritable. But one time help? Why would he NOT consider it a privilege to help you our and probably teach you something useful for performing your job?

You probably simply do not have a thorough mastery of social graces.

And you know what? social graces are a skillset. That means that you can learn.

To accept help from somebody graciously and in a way that bolsters your helper's self esteem is simply a skill you are yet to master. But it not out of reach for you.

What he said...^

Keep in mind coworkers have a competitive motive for making you feel stupid, so they'll give you information piecemeal, in little morsels, withholding anything important unless necessary at the moment for you to leave them alone.

nobody want to stupidying themselves. Maybe you need more motivation or fun at work. try a little compliment for yourself if you doing something small but important to yourself. reach out from smallest thing, today and give reward. just try the best for every small thing

Hey guys, I've been working a bit more and I finally feel like I kind of know what I'm doing!

Hey guys, update! Knowing what I'm doing at this point isn't serving me well at all. The equipment that I have is really an obstacle to me (and other) co-workers doing an efficient job. I have to do the work of 3 people and if I miss a step I have to justify my every move. It's really getting frustrating. This job is just as involved as a full-time job. I don't have the energy to work on my art out of work the way I want but I really don't like to blame my laziness on outside circumstances. I do have anxieties about being reprimanded at work. My bf says that I'm over thinking it and it's going to be alright…until I go in to work and I'm given a run-down on everything that I did wrong; my worries are always justified and I can't simply not care. I've also come to the conclusion that I have a total inability to compartmentalize aspects of my life. I just go through these cycles where I really just have no motivation or energy to work on my art (the most viable ticket out of this hellish cycle of needing a job) and then other times I'll just be naturally hyped about my future…then something stressful happens and the ball just drops.

I just really don't know what to do. I could try to get another part-time job but most jobs are just filled with different brands of the same b.s. I tried getting an office job but that doesn't work. I really need to make money with my art which can work but isn't working fast enough. I can't go back to school and I would still need a job even if I did. I'm beyond stuck right now.

I know exactly what you are going through. I just walked out on a job yesterday after a month of being there because I kept making mistakes that were continually pointed out to me. Mind you the me making mistakes happens all the time despite having earned a Master's degree. I get taken back to being in grade school its almost as if I'm being bullied at the jobs. Also the corrections make me feel pretty inept too. I always think to myself why didn't I catch that when I was preparing the work.

I can relate. I quit a cashier job after only like three weeks because I kept making mistakes, I had basically ZERO training and they threw me on the cash register as if I was somehow automatically supposed to know everything. I worked with all females, and they would look at me like I was an idiot. Definitely felt like bullying a couple of times. They were all older than me and were on the job much longer than me, but they kept making me do everything and sort of felt like they were throwing me the "hot potato" when it came to all the difficult work just because I was new there. Hated it, and that was my very first job too, so it made me scared to get another job because I figured every work place was probably like that.
Making mistakes at a job happens pretty often I would assume, if you're pretty new. It just goes to show you the lack of training they gave you, which is their fault. If you aren't totally confident in what you're doing, the training wasn't good enough.

Hi guys! Thanks again for the advice. I'm more comfortable with a lot of the tech aspects of the job now but dealing with people (ALL of the people, customers and co-workers) is just very challenging. I never push back on anyone which ends up creating bad situations. Some of my co-workers kind of treat me like a child almost. I don't even know what I could say when I make the same screw-ups I always make. I just have to sit there looking crazy because I totally deserve to be lambasted for making everyone else's job harder.

This is SO stressful. I need the money but some time has gone by and this is very hard. I really don't think my personality just isn't right for the job. I've really tried to change but I can't. This is the same thing that happened on my last job. It's hard to sleep through the night sometimes, I'm tense and nervous even when I'm not at work. In the perfect world I would quit but I really can't because I need the money. They can't fire me but at this point it would be a relief. They can't really fire me now but I guess it could happen. At this point, there is no other option besides sit there and deal with it so I'm basically just venting.