[dyingforjossee18]

I work in a child care center. I am the teacher for the two year old's. For the most part I love my job, the children make me laugh everyday and I'm trying to teach myself that they are only two when they are driving me up the wall. My problem is the 3's/4's teacher. She is horrible to the kids, trying to make them upset which bothers me. She also told on my secret snuggle sessions after I clock out which had been happening for over a month and a half. I hate her and need suggestions on how to get along with her as a co-worker without having to quit my job.

[jelly-bean]

If she is horrible to the kids she needs to be reported, She does not belong in a child care center. If you can document or record some of the things she does and prove that she is not good at her job then you won't need to worry about working with her. If she were caring for my child I would want to know what is going on.

[dyingforjossee18]

I would if I knew it would help. Apparently the licensing representative and the daycare's director are good buddies so they get left off the hook. The place has been called on numerous times and nothing is done, everyone just lies. And before I started, a teacher used to do drugs while at work for a long time before she got fired. I have thought about going to the parents of one little one who will be advancing to her class in a short time because she cries every time they are in the same room.I don't really know how to get this teacher out since previous reports on the center are basically laughed off.

Hello again dyingforjossee18: I'm not intentionally following you around! I just happened on your 2 posts. I saw that no one had yet replied, so I thought I'd take a stab at them, so to speak.

I don't know what your secret snuggle sessions after you clock out are all about. But, assuming it's with the kids, it may well be inappropriate for you to be doing this without the knowledge & permission of whoever is in charge. I won't get into the various ways in which this could potentially be problematic. But there are, I assure you, several of them that come to mind right off the top of my head. Should your co-worker have told on you? Well... that's another issue. But it may be that, in fact, she did you a favor. This is probably not what you wanted to read as a reply. But it is my honest perspective based on what I understand the situation to be.

As far as her being horrible to the kids & trying to make them upset, this of course is bothersome. Under other circumstances this is something you might want to take to whoever is in charge. However, as things stand now, it's likely this would be seen as retaliation. And also this is not what you're looking to do anyway, as I read your post. You want suggestions for how to get along with her so you don't have to quit your job. (By the way, I think that's great!)

First of all I would suggest that you try not to hold it against her that she reported your snuggle sessions. Whether you agree with what she did or not, she was in a difficult position & presumably did what she thought was correct. Second, I would try to analyze why it is she's being horrible to the kids & trying to make them upset. What's happening when she does this. Can you discern a pattern? Perhaps she has difficulty handling stress & the kids raise her anxiety level so she does things to try to informally punish them for it. I think sometimes those of us who struggle with mental health problems ourselves tend to forget that the people around us can also have their own mental health challenges, whether or not they are in treatment for them.

Anyway, if you can discern a pattern to what is happening when this teacher does what she does, perhaps you can figure of some ways of helping to keep the situation from developing in the first place. I know that's a pretty tall order. But, other than just living with it or quitting your job, something of this sort may be your only option. Understand that this teacher has her own stresses & problems in her life, just as we all do, & see if you can figure out some ways to be helpful. What would you do if she were a friend of yours? Do that for her & perhaps it can make a difference. My best wishes to you.

P.S. Oh... and my compliments with regard to your desire to make this work!

[dyingforjossee18]

Just to clarify my "snuggle sessions". I love working with the infants. We have two that are 4 months old and after I clock out, I go into the infant room and hold the one everyday until her mother arrived. Her mother knew about it and did not have a problem with it in the slightest bit. I was told that we have no insurance for me if I had a freak accident with the children after I was off the clock but I also found out we don't have insurance when we are on the clock either. And what really made me mad was the Wednesday before thanksgiving the director asked me to stay and watch the kids while I was clocked off during break. My thought was, what would happen if something went wrong while I was clocked out.

[CapedCrusader]

You need to repot the situation immediately. There are teachers out there who love children than her. The children doesn't deserve that kind of attitude. They go there everyday to learn something, to be taken care of, to be loved... Find another teacher who loves children than the other teacher does.

Originally Posted by dyingforjossee18

Just to clarify my "snuggle sessions". I love working with the infants. We have two that are 4 months old and after I clock out, I go into the infant room and hold the one everyday until her mother arrived. Her mother knew about it and did not have a problem with it in the slightest bit. I was told that we have no insurance for me if I had a freak accident with the children after I was off the clock but I also found out we don't have insurance when we are on the clock either. And what really made me mad was the Wednesday before thanksgiving the director asked me to stay and watch the kids while I was clocked off during break. My thought was, what would happen if something went wrong while I was clocked out.

Well... two things... first it's good the mom knew about your holding her baby. But you work for your employer & you should not be working with the kids off the clock. The insurance concern is just one of several reasons for this (whether or not they have any. That is a different discussion.) Now, that said, you're correct. You shouldn't be asked to watch the kids off the clock either, I don't think. It seems to me, it's either one way or it's the other. Unfortunately these are the kinds of inconsistencies one can run into while working for a small company or organization.

But, in either case, what I would like to suggest is that the most important thing here is that you protect yourself. If you do something at your employer's request, or with her permission, then it's her responsibility if something goes wrong. If you take it upon yourself to do something without your employer knowing about it, & something happens, then it's on you. Your employer will say: "I did not know she was doing this & I did not approve it." Then, to a large extent, she's off the hook. Does that make sense? You have to protect yourself first. Another way of putting it is to spread your liability as broadly as possible. Avoid putting yourself in a position such that you can become the target for all of the blame if something should go array.

[hvert]

Just a thought -- if you really love this kind of work, it may be in your best interests to start looking for another daycare to work for. If this place has had the state intervene multiple times and has no insurance, they sound like a disaster waiting to happen. I wouldn't want my name associated with a daycare that made the papers after getting shut down by the state.

Originally Posted by dyingforjossee18

I would if I knew it would help. Apparently the licensing representative and the daycare's director are good buddies so they get left off the hook. The place has been called on numerous times and nothing is done, everyone just lies. And before I started, a teacher used to do drugs while at work for a long time before she got fired. I have thought about going to the parents of one little one who will be advancing to her class in a short time because she cries every time they are in the same room.I don't really know how to get this teacher out since previous reports on the center are basically laughed off.

It's really not your place to try to correct what apparently is going on here. I'd like to second what hvert wrote. If this center is as bad as it sounds, it may well be in your best interest to seek employment elsewhere. Employers prefer to hire people who are already working. If you wait until the center gets closed down, or you get fired, it may be more difficult to find a new job. I

t may be tempting to "fall on your sword", as the saying goes & try to blow the whistle on a bad outfit. But if you end up losing your job as a result, other potential employers may not look kindly on the fact that you were instrumental in getting the place closed down.

[dyingforjossee18]

Thanks for the advice. I'm currently looking for a job that fits my qualifications.