need help for my wife !!! she has some problem adjusting in career

hi,

I am writing for help, on behalf of my wife. She is brilliant, artistic, loves to talk, socialize, determined and stays very focused if she wants to, though she is bit volatile and cannot continue anything for too long. She usually does not have any problem in facing job interview, securing herself the necessary skill for job/career, she also is usually topper or compete pretty well if the job requires any training, but everything fails when she is deployed by any employer in field of real work and that is when she loses will, she thinks too much over it, complains, have some physical signs like losing weight, getting bit anxious (but never too much), body pain mainly to her arms or legs (specifically legs ; a special note, she does not complain leg pain if she goes for long walk) or gets nauseous due to travel (she has motion sickness though I think it is motion sickness with positional vertigo) and this is when I ask her to quit since I cannot afford her problems on my conscious though I try very hard as I do not want her to go into state of depression (she usually bickers over small trivial matters when she is not working, she gets depressed very easily when she is not doing anything except being housewife).

I myself have tried various options to treat her (I am not psychiatrist, but being ...hmmm medical enthusiast) ....but running out of options here....please could you suggest me a path to make her more focused. Any kind of suggestion from anyone is welcome.....

First of all, kudos to you for being a supportive and understanding husband. I was forced to take time off due to my MI and at first my bf and I were ok but after almost a year and drowning in bills I HAD to get a job just about a month ago and I struggle everyday! Is your wife on medication or seeing therapy for her issues and anxiety? The only thing keeping me sane on the job is my meds right now. If you can afford it then put her mental health first and get her some help. These are legitimate and very real issues that she deals with. I sure wish I had more time to deal with my **** before I got this job. I already had a panic attack and had to leave early once. Nothing feel worst than feeling incompetent at your work. Especially when you have no other options.

Continue your support and talk to her about seeking help if she isn't already. That's about all I have stress right now!

There is nothing you can or should do treat her. It's just not your place. You can't change her or make her do anything. If SHE wants help or treatment, if SHE wants to change, then she can seek out therapy or medication or training. But this all has to come from her. If she isn't motivated or doesn't want help, then nothing will work. You can't want it enough for the both of you. This is her issue and she's the only one who can address it. And the more you push her, the worse you will make the situation. People don't usually want their spouse trying to "treat" them. It makes you like the "parent" and no one wants that in a romantic relationship that really should be an equal partnership.

Sounds a bit like she is "addicted" to achieving and short term successes. It's great to face a challenge, do what is needed to overcome it, and receive praise for it. But, doing a job/career that requires long term commitment, day in , day out, may not be rewarding for her. I obviously couldn't say if that's because she has a short attention span, is immature at some level, has a narcissistic characteristic, is just misaligning her interests and talents with the wrong vocation, or a some combination of the above. You can be supportive but she needs to self reflect. A neutral 3rd party she can talk to may really be helpful for her.