[Mrs. Mania]

I made the biggest spectacle this morning at work, one for the record books. I'm still crying and shaking an hour and a half later.

Background: I'm known for going above and beyond, my supervisors think so highly of me that they overlook my somewhat excessive absences.

This morning I worked so hard, I was literally dripping sweat. I took my barrels out to dump. My dirty linen was overflowing because I let a coworker add last minute linen he had. The bins were full, and I had this huge bag to throw up. Painful success.

I go inside to chart, kiosk malfunctioning. Go to nurses station, and the new girls got me laughing. In storms the most ignorant person I work with shouting how I didn't empty my barrels.
0-100 REAL QUICK! Started shouting, dropping f bombs, stormed over to the other nurses station and yelled at the girl who she was in cahoots with, as I walked out the door my nemesis strolled up-I yelled at her to go find something to tattle on me about She looked at me like I was a psycho and rightly so.
I could go on, but I hate long posts........which this is already

[Phoenix39]

Yeah I did something similar the other day.. i am now exploring how to control my stress and emotions a bit better. I don't have much advice for you, just want to let you know you're not alone and hey, the dude sounds like he deserved it

[Shaly78]

Well, since I read research about the disorder of hiddenist being multiple....Someone created the illusion that they knew about my research and decided to f' me over because I'm rather proper and fit to form being a system that subscribes to disorder of hiddenist, very calm in most cases...I regret my begginings, cause they wouldn't rest with the control of people so that it show a few time in a few years publicly instead of in a moment of privacy every 5 or 6 six years.....So yea, I felt forced without a choice if not I would continued to be trapped and ran over when the choice was everyone's....Its the danger when you get involved with toxic people without knowing that from the beginning...I blame the research I read, the people I got involved with, where it happened publicly, and myselves.....The only thing you can do now at this point is try to do some sort of damage control at work to keep your rep.....

[Mrs. Mania]

So it's pretty awkward around here. Should I apologize, or should I not even bring it up?

[Mrs. Mania]

Originally Posted by Shaly78

The only thing you can do now at this point is try to do some sort of damage control at work to keep your rep.....

Thanks, I should have read this before my last post! I guess I will apologize.

Originally Posted by Mrs. Mania

So it's pretty awkward around here. Should I apologize, or should I not even bring it up?

It would be noble of you to apologize, but you can probably get away with pretending that it never happened. Every time my mom would throw a spaz like that, she would blame it on her imaginary cultural identity ("It's my Italian temper.")

[Raindropvampire]

I always apologize. Then I explain what set me off and how I've identified X as a trigger and will endeavor for this to not happen in the future.

MY boss and I know it's bullpucky(it's going to happen again) but it keeps the locals happy

[Mrs. Mania]

I've only apologized to one person and I'm in tears. I have the two I was really mean to in about 3 hours. Fallout is so much worse than the explosion.

[Swabbingred]

Oh trust me, these explosive episodes of anger are always on the incline when it's work because it is some sort of conductive/professionalism-induced stress where it all adds up in a small time due to physical and mental exertion.

I had two experiences similar, one was at an electronic retailer and got accused of turning a blind eye to a shoplifter whom took all the contents from inside a phone box, which never happened. Once we reviewed the cameras, I told her to **** .... herself and basically smashed a whole column of electronic-peer devices.

The recent one was finishing up our late-night Thursday shift around 7 @ the pharmacy, all accumulated stress from withdrawals and other external issues, felt an abundance of energy and went APE and started throwing all the assorted meds from the shelves around the store. Didn't end well, embarrassingly enough I stayed back to clean it up. \

Enough about that, I understand completely how it feels for anger to reach the pinnacle of action then out comes the true energy within you. I can't tell you which is the right and wrong way of expressing anger but deep breaths, screaming into a pillow, handling these situations less intensely could've prevented what you got now, a regretful conundrum. It's okay, what's done is done, it'd be wise of you to apologize but give it 1 week out the subconscious it goes.....

[tradika]

Are you still employed? I think if something upsets you that easily then perhaps getting out of that line of work is in order. You seem to have established that your coworkers are your trigger. They probably aren't going to go away, so neither is your stress.

[seesaw]

It sounds like you started shouting at another co-worker because they started shouting at you. So maybe now you can grow from this and be aware that the next time a co-worker comes to you shouting about something that you can respond differently. Maybe say, I will talk to you about this but not if you are going to raise your voice to me. Or say, I will discuss this with you once you've calmed down. Or even just excuse YOURSELF if you need to. But know that people are going to come at you with conflict and it's all about how you respond to it that matters.

I think Tradika has a point that maybe looking for less stressful work would be a good option.

Seesaw

[Woodchuck]

I'm new here but I had a similar incident (kind of) where I punched a wall in full view of my coworkers because I was so exasperated by a senior coworker treating me like I was stupid. I didn't apologize to her. However in the past I have sent a neutrally-worded email apologizing for my behavior and assuring the person that I would be more in control of my reactions next time.