[DechanDawa]

I got a new job within five minutes walking of where I live. I know I should be happy, but instead I am really overwhelmed. Any comments would be appreciated.

I applied for the job almost without much thought because it was nearby and my vehicle recently broke down and the repair is turning out to be extremely costly. I got hired almost instantly -- not for the job I applied for...but for another job that is ten times more stressful and physically demanding.. That I got hired at all startled me because I have been out of work for over 18 months due to a debilitating depression. I decided to start applying for jobs and got called in to interview for this job the first day of my new job hunt.

I have become extremely anxious and had to call a hotline on Christmas day because I was alone all that day and I started freaking out about the job, being anxious, and my life feeling out of control. The feedback the hotline counselor gave me was that getting the job was a very positive step.

Everyone is saying it is great that I am forcing myself out of my comfort zone. (Well, just a few people that know about this.)

This job environment is potentially dangerous so I would not want to be on any medications while working this job, and presently I am not. However, I am dealing with severe anxiety and depression.

My health provider had a counselor/advisor talk to me about what I should do about the anxiety and they said I need to be in counseling. But of course I am still training in this new job, the hours are very erratic, and I don't have any transportation except buses until my vehicle is repaired (if it can be repaired as it is very old)...so setting up and getting to, and paying for counseling is just another stress.

I am alone without family or friends nearby, I have extreme financial problems, I feel really mentally fragile...and now I have started a very fast-moving, intense job that does not pay a wage I can live on.

My idea is to take it one step at a time. To do this job while looking for a new job.

However, I am truly wondering...what will happen if I crack under the stress and strain? I have no one to help me. I contacted some friends and family over the holiday season to try to explain to them that I was feeling very dangerously compromised by all my problems. Mostly they said they had no idea how to help me and I should get into counseling, get a job, find friends, and build a life. Just like that. They cannot imagine how difficult this is while trying to pull myself out of a deep, dark hole I have been in for almost two years.

I am older. This job entails me to be on my feet the entire time and I feel really depressed. So far I've been doing training and it has been extremely intense. I should add that the people who have been training me are super nice, the company culture is upbeat, and everyone is encouraging. No one has led me to believe - so far - that I can't do this job...however, in my present state I am finding everything in my life brutally hard. I cannot even imagine how I keep appearing as normal because inside I feel like I am crumbling.

How can I get mentally and physically stronger in a very short time??? If I don't --- I fear I will not survive.

[Skeezyks]

Hi Dechan: I read this post yesterday but didn't reply. However, I noticed no one had replied yet. So I thought I would. I hope you'll forgive me if I just ramble on here a bit. Honestly, I don't know how one becomes mentally & physically stronger in a very short time. In fact, I question if it is possible. I guess that's what psych med's are supposed to accomplish for a person. (Personally I'm not a fan though, as you know.)

There is a very wise & wonderful book I recommend occasionally, here on PC: Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation by Parker J. Palmer (Jossey-Bass, 2000.) Perhaps you're familiar with it? (Reading this book is how I became a "wise old troll".) In this book, Palmer writes: "Before you tell your life what you intend to do with it, listen for what it intends to do with you. Before you tell you life what truths and values you have decided to live up to, let your life tell you what truths you embody, what values you represent." (Pg. 3)

Basically what I take from this is that each of us has things we can do & things we can't. And trying to live our lives doing things we just weren't cut out to do is simply a prescription for ongoing unhappiness. There are many things I would have liked to do in my life that just never happened. (There are also a lot of things that happened that should not have. And that was at the time, & still is, apparent.)

You mentioned, in your post, that you're alone without family or friends nearby & that, when you called them, they just basically told you to "get a life", so to speak. You also mentioned you have some extreme financial problems. Obviously I don't know the extent of what you are facing. And unfortunately I also don't have any real solutions to offer. You mentioned trying to arrange to see a counselor. And that certainly sounds like a good idea if you can arrange it.

From what you've written about this new job, it sounds as though there are a lot of positive aspects to it... except for the stress it is causing you. It would be great if you could hang in there until you can find something more suitable in terms of stress level & wage. But if you find you simply can't handle the stress, then you can't.

What occurs to me is that somehow, perhaps with the help of a counselor of some sort, you might find it possible to come up with a plan for moving yourself from where you are to somewhere where you can survive. It may be one that is not where you'd wish to be if you had your druthers but it is one that is workable. That's kind-of where I am at this point. The life I lead is not at all what I would like it to be. But being the person I have become, & the resources I have at my disposal, it works for me. I don't know if any of that makes any sense... or is of any consequence. But these are my musings, based on what you wrote here. I wish you well...

[Gojamadar]

Originally Posted by DechanDawa

I got a new job within five minutes walking of where I live. I know I should be happy, but instead I am really overwhelmed. Any comments would be appreciated.

I applied for the job almost without much thought because it was nearby and my vehicle recently broke down and the repair is turning out to be extremely costly. I got hired almost instantly -- not for the job I applied for...but for another job that is ten times more stressful and physically demanding.. That I got hired at all startled me because I have been out of work for over 18 months due to a debilitating depression. I decided to start applying for jobs and got called in to interview for this job the first day of my new job hunt.

I have become extremely anxious and had to call a hotline on Christmas day because I was alone all that day and I started freaking out about the job, being anxious, and my life feeling out of control. The feedback the hotline counselor gave me was that getting the job was a very positive step.

Everyone is saying it is great that I am forcing myself out of my comfort zone. (Well, just a few people that know about this.)

This job environment is potentially dangerous so I would not want to be on any medications while working this job, and presently I am not. However, I am dealing with severe anxiety and depression.

My health provider had a counselor/advisor talk to me about what I should do about the anxiety and they said I need to be in counseling. But of course I am still training in this new job, the hours are very erratic, and I don't have any transportation except buses until my vehicle is repaired (if it can be repaired as it is very old)...so setting up and getting to, and paying for counseling is just another stress.

I am alone without family or friends nearby, I have extreme financial problems, I feel really mentally fragile...and now I have started a very fast-moving, intense job that does not pay a wage I can live on.

My idea is to take it one step at a time. To do this job while looking for a new job.

However, I am truly wondering...what will happen if I crack under the stress and strain? I have no one to help me. I contacted some friends and family over the holiday season to try to explain to them that I was feeling very dangerously compromised by all my problems. Mostly they said they had no idea how to help me and I should get into counseling, get a job, find friends, and build a life. Just like that. They cannot imagine how difficult this is while trying to pull myself out of a deep, dark hole I have been in for almost two years.

I am older. This job entails me to be on my feet the entire time and I feel really depressed. So far I've been doing training and it has been extremely intense. I should add that the people who have been training me are super nice, the company culture is upbeat, and everyone is encouraging. No one has led me to believe - so far - that I can't do this job...however, in my present state I am finding everything in my life brutally hard. I cannot even imagine how I keep appearing as normal because inside I feel like I am crumbling.

How can I get mentally and physically stronger in a very short time??? If I don't --- I fear I will not survive.

Hi,
You already gotsmoe good advice from the Keezicks. I can tell you about my experience. I had a mid-life crysis when I was 45. The weel paid but boring job was finishing and I jumped before I was pushed. My marriege broke down and still had a child to support. This was in the early 1980s with half the country unemployed and looking for jobs.
I trained for a completely different job and after training Igot a job with a small firm, however that firm folded after 6 weeks. After another 6 monts of looking for work I got another job with the local council. This place was staffed by old craftsmen who all did 7 year apprenticeships and I after only six monts training was not welcomed by the other workmates.
I stuck it out and had 15 years of relatively good relations with every one.
You can try your best and you should be OK.
Good luck.

[kecanoe]

My experience when overwhelmed is to really stay focused on the moment. I find that when I let my mind go to the future (whether next month or next minute) my anxiety tends to spin out of control. I can usually deal with whatever is happening at that moment, and it is encouraging for me to look back and think "i have made it through 4 hours, so I can probably put a few more together".

I am not a big fan of meds (though I am on some) but there are meds for anxiety and depression that will not make you sloppy with your work. If that is something you want to try, a pdoc might be able to help you.

And, I think acceptance that I am doing something really hard and stressful is helpful for me. It sound like you are not getting much support (for many people learning and holding down a good job is no big deal). But for you, at this time in your life, it is a big deal. I would think anything that you can do to encourage yourself might be helpful.

[DechanDawa]

Originally Posted by kecanoe

My experience when overwhelmed is to really stay focused on the moment. I find that when I let my mind go to the future (whether next month or next minute) my anxiety tends to spin out of control. I can usually deal with whatever is happening at that moment, and it is encouraging for me to look back and think "i have made it through 4 hours, so I can probably put a few more together".

I am not a big fan of meds (though I am on some) but there are meds for anxiety and depression that will not make you sloppy with your work. If that is something you want to try, a pdoc might be able to help you.

And, I think acceptance that I am doing something really hard and stressful is helpful for me. It sound like you are not getting much support (for many people learning and holding down a good job is no big deal). But for you, at this time in your life, it is a big deal. I would think anything that you can do to encourage yourself might be helpful.

Thank you. This was terrific advice. I have found the only thing that really keeps me sane is when I start to stress out is to think of what I am going to do for the next hour. If I am home I usually head for a hot bath as a distraction. I live alone and my thoughts easily spin out of control.

I don't know what medications would not interfere with work...especially with operating potentially dangerous equipment. Benzodiazepines would help my anxiety but my health care providers will not prescribe them and I might be better off improving coping skills.

[eyesclosed]

I tried to find out where you lived to see what kind of weather u get. Having a job that close to where you live can really add some savings to off set the wage difference. especially where its cold and snows. I think everyone is nervous with new jobs but we tend to have low self esteem and being alone no support. It sounds like they support you. This job happened so fast. I think as time goes on your self esteem will build the longer your there. You also have the lifestyle change of public transit. I think after the first time you find it wasn't that bad unless you are riding the metro in D.C. I think if you have any bills you really don't need you may have to think about that too. I hope you can keep going and get through this.

[DechanDawa]

Originally Posted by eyesclosed

I tried to find out where you lived to see what kind of weather u get. Having a job that close to where you live can really add some savings to off set the wage difference. especially where its cold and snows. I think everyone is nervous with new jobs but we tend to have low self esteem and being alone no support. It sounds like they support you. This job happened so fast. I think as time goes on your self esteem will build the longer your there. You also have the lifestyle change of public transit. I think after the first time you find it wasn't that bad unless you are riding the metro in D.C. I think if you have any bills you really don't need you may have to think about that too. I hope you can keep going and get through this.

Thanks. For now I have to cope. I am trying to take it one hour at a time. When I finish work tonight I am going to come home and dive under the covers. I don't have a problem staying asleep once I get to sleep. It is going to be another long day and a long shift and all I am thinking of now is being back home and in bed with the whole day off tomorrow.

[DechanDawa]

Originally Posted by kecanoe

My experience when overwhelmed is to really stay focused on the moment. I find that when I let my mind go to the future (whether next month or next minute) my anxiety tends to spin out of control. I can usually deal with whatever is happening at that moment, and it is encouraging for me to look back and think "i have made it through 4 hours, so I can probably put a few more together".

I am not a big fan of meds (though I am on some) but there are meds for anxiety and depression that will not make you sloppy with your work. If that is something you want to try, a pdoc might be able to help you.

And, I think acceptance that I am doing something really hard and stressful is helpful for me. It sound like you are not getting much support (for many people learning and holding down a good job is no big deal). But for you, at this time in your life, it is a big deal. I would think anything that you can do to encourage yourself might be helpful.

This was a beautiful response. Thank you so much for your wisdom, and best wishes to you for a happy new year.

[DechanDawa]

Originally Posted by eyesclosed

I tried to find out where you lived to see what kind of weather u get. Having a job that close to where you live can really add some savings to off set the wage difference. especially where its cold and snows. I think everyone is nervous with new jobs but we tend to have low self esteem and being alone no support. It sounds like they support you. This job happened so fast. I think as time goes on your self esteem will build the longer your there. You also have the lifestyle change of public transit. I think after the first time you find it wasn't that bad unless you are riding the metro in D.C. I think if you have any bills you really don't need you may have to think about that too. I hope you can keep going and get through this.

Well, I lived in Wisconsin once (Madison) and when winter hit I was out of there! It was bitter! The worst winter weather I experienced second to Boston.

Where I live now is in the foothills of some pretty big mountains and when the snow hits it can be brutal. There is an advantage to living 3 minutes (2 minutes if I walk fast) from where I now work. I hate to commute with a passion and somehow always avoid it and now I have an old truck which makes me even more inclined to avoid a long commute - my truck has been at the mechanics going on a month so I don't even feel like I have a vehicle. Taking buses is a pain and at the same time interesting. I don't know what it is about me but everyone talks to me, even the bus drivers...and they aren't supposed to. I have lived in large urban areas and have depended on buses...but I would rather have my truck back.

I have been whining and complaining at my new job (although working very hard to make up for it) about low wages, having to join a union and pay high dues. Today the union rep said, "Set your eye on management." It is like everyone it really trying to help me.

It helps that even though I am depressed I work hard. Everyone appreciates industry...especially when there is almost too much work and not enough people.

I called three hotlines before I went to work today. That's how messed up I was mentally, but when I got to work I got in the flow and several people thanked me before I left for the day...and my supervisor sent me off 15 minutes early.

This is all so different than hiding under the covers in my bed which is what I did for about 18 months.

Thank you for your kind words. I loved your reply and all your wisdom.

[eyesclosed]

Great I'm glad that you got a little benefit it makes me feel good. It's nice to have a vehicle too, it's better for errands. Just think when you get it back the truck will last a much longer time. I'm surprised though that a union job wouldn't pay more unless it's a new parts plant like I started at in 1992. After 18 yrs it closed by that time the wages were good. The union dues well WI is a AT Will state so it was like paying for protection of the At Will law. Is this a line job your working on and the line moves every 57 sec. Them are the hardest jobs. Hopefully not and keep doing what you have too do to make it. That is a big accomplishment you are a very strong.

[DechanDawa]

Originally Posted by eyesclosed

Great I'm glad that you got a little benefit it makes me feel good. It's nice to have a vehicle too, it's better for errands. Just think when you get it back the truck will last a much longer time. I'm surprised though that a union job wouldn't pay more unless it's a new parts plant like I started at in 1992. After 18 yrs it closed by that time the wages were good. The union dues well WI is a AT Will state so it was like paying for protection of the At Will law. Is this a line job your working on and the line moves every 57 sec. Them are the hardest jobs. Hopefully not and keep doing what you have too do to make it. That is a big accomplishment you are a very strong.

Thanks. The job is not in manufacturing, it is in food service. I have never been in a union so don't much know about it, but I guess I will be finding out. It is in a supermarket so I can work in several different departments that are unionized. The good thing is once I am in the union the management can't yank me out of my union departments to do other jobs in the store. So once I know my jobs I can just do them and don't have to be worried about anything else. But the wages are too low to live on so I will also have to be looking for a better job at the same time.

I don't know what is happening to my truck. My mechanic hasn't contacted me so maybe he's rebuilding the damn engine on me! I am trying not to think about it as this is my only day off for six days and I want to enjoy it before everything starts hitting the fan again tomorrow. One day at a time. I wouldn't be on Psych Central if I was a mentally and emotionally strong person. Things that might be easy for a normal person aren't easy for me. So I appreciate the support I get on Psych Central.

[avlady]

i am sorry for your situation, please take it slow and one day at a time!

I am in a similar position. I come home from work and am mentally exhausted. My boss clearly does not like me but keeps me on for reasons that I don't understand. Most temps are hired after 3 months but she is requiring me to do 6 months. I have 2 more months to go. Everyone else is nice. At my age - I'm almost 60 - this is a huge physical test as I have no paid sick or vacation days, nor do I earn any as a temp. I don't know whether to start looking for another job or to stay the additional 2 months to see if she keeps her work. I doubt that she will.

My only suggestion is this: stick it out and make sure you get as much rest as possible after work. See if you can stick it out and keep looking at new job openings posted in your current company. After a year, consider applying for a suitable new position. If you cannot stick out a year then start looking elsewhere. Another suggestion, see if you can delegate some of the responsibilities of your new job after you have mastered them. This will help limit your responsibilities though you will still have to supervise. I wish you the best.

[DechanDawa]

Originally Posted by unguy

I am in a similar position. I come home from work and am mentally exhausted. My boss clearly does not like me but keeps me on for reasons that I don't understand. Most temps are hired after 3 months but she is requiring me to do 6 months. I have 2 more months to go. Everyone else is nice. At my age - I'm almost 60 - this is a huge physical test as I have no paid sick or vacation days, nor do I earn any as a temp. I don't know whether to start looking for another job or to stay the additional 2 months to see if she keeps her work. I doubt that she will.

My only suggestion is this: stick it out and make sure you get as much rest as possible after work. See if you can stick it out and keep looking at new job openings posted in your current company. After a year, consider applying for a suitable new position. If you cannot stick out a year then start looking elsewhere. Another suggestion, see if you can delegate some of the responsibilities of your new job after you have mastered them. This will help limit your responsibilities though you will still have to supervise. I wish you the best.

I am working for a big company. It is actually nationwide with many subsidiaries. So I have been thinking that there are options but I have to hang in there during this initial period. I am also older. I could even transfer to another state and still work for the same company. So there are advantages if only I would stop being overwhelmed.

I have been trying to rest off work with almost military precision. I am operating dangerous equipment in a food service area and cannot afford to not be on my toes. I can't afford to go in tired. It could cost me a couple of fingers!

I had to laugh at your suggestion about learning the job then getting others to help me. I am not a supervisor. However, I have noticed that some people who are not supervisors do try to get the new people to do their work.

Where I work there is an insane amount of work. I am on my feet moving for 8 hours. Everyone has to work very hard. Teamwork is essential. But getting others to do my work would be frowned upon. My first day some guy was getting me to help him. An assistant manager pulled me aside and said, "That guy is not a manager. Only take directions from managers." That really helped. Where I work the assistant managers are great. The people I work with are great except for a couple of whiners who I stay away from.

I don't know why you are working temp but I hope you get hired. Maybe then you could move to another position in the same company. I hope you get a position other than with the boss who does not like you for unknown reasons.

What is with these bosses and supervisors. Where I am now working there must be some strict policies about how managers act because all the assistant managers I work with have a great attitude. It is all about the work.

The first day I came home I felt dead mentally and physically. It is getting a little better. My mental health issues are what makes everything hard.

Good luck in 2017. I hope you find job security. And you deserve to be respected at any job. (In my last job my supervisor got gnarly. We had been working together for years than she got kind of nasty. Either I never saw it before or she didn't focus her nastiness on me until the end. I never found out what her problem was and didn't care. She went from nice to nasty and I don't think that is tolerable in any supervisor.)