Groundhog Day

The never ending cycle . 3 a.m. ..drag your carcass out of bed . Drive for an hour through the bush ( that part could be worse , kangaroos , emus , the red ball sun cracking over the brown dirt and eucalyptus trees ) .. enter the hell of an underground minesite . Get mentally assaulted as soon as you arrive . Problem after problem where they want some sort of miracle response immediately . Meetings with suppliers , meetings about targets , tour the surface workings acting like you give a #### . Journey to the centre of the earth ( well , a mile down anyway ) to check the latest spur drive or stope . Meeting with the GM and listen to why the dumb , lazy #### is not happy about whatever peripheral issue this time . Look through 40 resumes .. none which even address the essential criteria in them ? Eat some food , first spoonful in and more people wanting solutions crashing through the door . Finally 12 hours later putting your plan for the night shift to the shift boss ... knowing full well when you get back tomorrow none of it will have been done as you said ... then the hour drive back to sanctuary.... for like what ? ....the 9000 time since you first walked onto a minesite as a nervous , anxious 15 yr old .
There must be more to life than this ..... well , there probably isn't , but there ###### well should be .... once more into the breach .
#### work .

First world problems you weak p#ick . Get your arse up and just go and do it . Think of half the world who don't even have clean water to drink and your *****ing because the colour of your velvet chair is the wrong colour . Just suck it up . If you wanted to be someone different you should have listened in school instead of daydreaming that you were in mortal combat with The Red Baron high in the empty blue over the trenches all the time . Shut it and go do your job you blouse .

Thanks for the pep talk Arch .. I needed that ... o.k. , let's go mate .

I seem to recall you having written previously that you have a year to go before you can retire... or some reasonable facsimile there-of? Well... however long you have to keep pressing your nose to the grindstone, I send my best wishes for strength to carry on.

I know something about this. I've been just putting one foot in front of the other for so long I can't recall when it all began. I thought once I wasn't working anymore it would get better. I hasn't really except that at least I don't have to endure work anymore... not that this isn't a blessing... because it is.

Yes... there certainly are many millions of people who have it much worse than we do. But that doesn't make our struggles any less real. At least that's what I keep telling myself. Anyway... hope your day went tolerably well...

Your a good person Skee . I watch you always give to people and never expect anything . This place would be much poorer without your welcoming , kind and understanding presence .
Thank you .
I copy that hug hvert . 👍

Career burnout . It's like when your watching the 1500metres at the Olympics. Lap after lap a furious pace is continued . Then the bell rings and the pace quickens for the last lap . Neck and neck the two front runners approach the 250 metre mark . Both look strong and it's time for the final effort , the sprint . They strive for the line but one man is mentally gone , his mind can't make his body push through . His gate breaks down , he falls back ..crumbling .. he is overrun by most of the field ......
The bells ringing , I'm not thinking of the gold medal anymore . I'm trying to pace myself for the bronze . 🙂

Yes, the last lap is always the hardest, good for you planning your retirement!

Yep it sure is Prefab . Others can't seem to see I'm gone yet ? Was talking to a guy the other day , he's like " in 18 months we want to start a new project , we're hoping you'd run it " .. he's saying the usual stuff " low cost operation " , I'm thinking uhuh , you don't have enough money to do it right . "Small well trained teams" ..uhuh , not enough people to do the job . "A complex ore body" ...uhuh , if you want the gold you have to compromise safety .
So anyway , I hear myself speaking " sounds interesting , too far away to commit , but would be interested in hearing about it " and my mind is yelling " are you crazy !, you don't want me , I'm shot through the gut , I'll crack and let you down " .
I cracked 2.5 years ago . The hairline cracks started probably 10 years ago I can see now . But then it came to a head . So I took 6 months off , just held it together long enough to see out my notice . Thought the break would have sorted me . So took the lead at my current mine , done 2 years there now and knew from day one I was still gone . I think it would feel like showing cowardice in the face of the enemy ..it would feel the same as that . I don't trust myself anymore . So yeah , give it away at 54 , maybe 55 if some things don't turn out . Thought I would do some thing after that to help animals .. volunteer or run a small low overhead not for profit thing . Fully finance myself , not expect anyone to cover my cost . We'll see.
Prefab Sprout .. English group yeah . My wife was into them when I met her as a 19 year old on hols in oz . Got detained by the police twice the day I met her for fighting and then apparently drinking in the wrong place ..cities . Chased her half way across the world and did a couple of years tunnelling in the North of the UK till I convinced her to come live in the desert with me . People would say , we aren't sure if she really likes you or is just hanging around to see what crazy thing your going to do next the only perfect thing I've ever met in my life . The last lap..yep , then freedom .

That's a lovely story about your wife (most people don't seem to know my username/band!), sounds like quite a whirlwind romance. If you're going to have one perfect thing then your marriage is a pretty important one to be that.