So I got laid off from one of my jobs on Friday. Once again, the timing is awful because I have to move out and be able to afford an apartment. Now I only have half an income from my other part time job.

I don't know yet if I will be eligible for partial unemployment benefits. I can submit my claim at the end of this week. Without unemployment, being able to afford a place will be very tough. I could just make it perhaps, but funds would be extremely tight with no room for savings or extras. It would be pretty miserable without the unemployment checks.

UGH! Could the timing have been worse??? This is my second time being laid off from a job in life. This does present a bit of a monkey wrench in my life. I am stressed.

On the other hand, I feel some amount of relief? They were not treating me well, nor were they listening to my guidance and expertise. They wanted to do things as they saw fit. I wonder if that's why I was let go? Because my strategies did not coincide with their vision?

My boss from this company ran one of her companies into the ground by pursuing a tactic I had strongly advised against. I warned her that she would ruin her business. And that's exactly what happened. Now they're doing something similar (against my guidance) with another company.

Fine. Listen to others' bad advice and run both companies into the ground for all I care. They're extremely arrogant. The new marketing director follows in my old boss's footsteps... not listening to expert guidance and input. They didn't like what I had to say, so I was let go. UGH.

[seesaw]

Originally Posted by golden_eve

So I got laid off from one of my jobs on Friday. Once again, the timing is awful because I have to move out and be able to afford an apartment. Now I only have half an income from my other part time job.

I don't know yet if I will be eligible for partial unemployment benefits. I can submit my claim at the end of this week. Without unemployment, being able to afford a place will be very tough. I could just make it perhaps, but funds would be extremely tight with no room for savings or extras. It would be pretty miserable without the unemployment checks.

UGH! Could the timing have been worse??? This is my second time being laid off from a job in life. This does present a bit of a monkey wrench in my life. I am stressed.

On the other hand, I feel some amount of relief? They were not treating me well, nor were they listening to my guidance and expertise. They wanted to do things as they saw fit. I wonder if that's why I was let go? Because my strategies did not coincide with their vision?

My boss from this company ran one of her companies into the ground by pursuing a tactic I had strongly advised against. I warned her that she would ruin her business. And that's exactly what happened. Now they're doing something similar (against my guidance) with another company.

Fine. Listen to others' bad advice and run both companies into the ground for all I care. They're extremely arrogant. The new marketing director follows in my old boss's footsteps... not listening to expert guidance and input. They didn't like what I had to say, so I was let go. UGH.

I understand what you're going through. I felt the same, pulled in two directions emotionally, when I was laid off. On one hand, I was upset about being laid off and deemed unnecessary. I liked my job and wanted to continue, despite the challenges. On the other hand, it was a relief to not have to deal with those challenges anymore, which included a boss who did not want to listen to me and people who were making huge mistakes and no one taking heed of my advice about how to avoid said mistakes. It was rough for a long time but I did manage to crawl out of it.

Even to this day I'm still ambivalent about it. I still wish I had my job some days because I miss it. Then I also remember how horrible it was to work with those people and, at this point, because of all the hard work and rebuilding I've done (NOT because of anything they did for me-I want to be clear that being laid off was NOT a blessing and it was NOT a good thing in the end) how much better my life is now - again because of the rebuilding and hard work that I put into it.

You will recover, I am sure. You are a hard worker, smart, and savvy. You may need to reposition yourself in the workplace. That's what I did and it helped me immensely. It can really drain on your self-confidence to get laid off. So try and stay strong in your self-esteem and self-image.

I'm rooting for you.

Seesaw

Originally Posted by seesaw

I understand what you're going through. I felt the same, pulled in two directions emotionally, when I was laid off. On one hand, I was upset about being laid off and deemed unnecessary. I liked my job and wanted to continue, despite the challenges. On the other hand, it was a relief to not have to deal with those challenges anymore, which included a boss who did not want to listen to me and people who were making huge mistakes and no one taking heed of my advice about how to avoid said mistakes. It was rough for a long time but I did manage to crawl out of it.

Even to this day I'm still ambivalent about it. I still wish I had my job some days because I miss it. Then I also remember how horrible it was to work with those people and, at this point, because of all the hard work and rebuilding I've done (NOT because of anything they did for me-I want to be clear that being laid off was NOT a blessing and it was NOT a good thing in the end) how much better my life is now - again because of the rebuilding and hard work that I put into it.

You will recover, I am sure. You are a hard worker, smart, and savvy. You may need to reposition yourself in the workplace. That's what I did and it helped me immensely. It can really drain on your self-confidence to get laid off. So try and stay strong in your self-esteem and self-image.

I'm rooting for you.

Seesaw

Thank you. Yes, my self-esteem has taken a hit. I question myself, but I also know that I gave best practice guidance based on everything I've read, heard and studied in my field.

[hvert]

The timing really does suck, but I can see why you'd also feel relieved. That place sounded like a toxic nightmare. I hope you find something better soon. Maybe it will be easier, in a way, since you don't have the weight of that awful situation weighing down on you?

Originally Posted by hvert

The timing really does suck, but I can see why you'd also feel relieved. That place sounded like a toxic nightmare. I hope you find something better soon. Maybe it will be easier, in a way, since you don't have the weight of that awful situation weighing down on you?

Thank you. It kind of was a toxic nightmare. Hopefully, this will all turn out right side up, but right now I'm scared.

I am pissed. My old boss who bullied me two years ago hasn't replied to my request for a positive reference after having been laid off.

HR has offered me a reference instead, but usually HR can only disclose the dates of employment (I believe).

I worked for this boss for a total of nearly four years, including my consulting work with her. But I think she quietly despises me because I got her into trouble with the company and with HR when I submitted a formal complaint against her and took off four plus months from work because of her extreme bullying. Now she's paying me back by refusing to respond to my request.

I cannot even believe her lack of professionalism, though I shouldn't be surprised. She used to yell at me, chastise me and publicly berate and humiliate me. She has always been a complete biotch. But now I have to suffer the consequences of having reported her. No matter what, they always have the power over you. The little guys never win.

[seesaw]

Originally Posted by golden_eve

I am pissed. My old boss who bullied me two years ago hasn't replied to my request for a positive reference after having been laid off.

HR has offered me a reference instead, but usually HR can only disclose the dates of employment (I believe).

I worked for this boss for a total of nearly four years, including my consulting work with her. But I think she quietly despises me because I got her into trouble with the company and with HR when I submitted a formal complaint against her and took off four plus months from work because of her extreme bullying. Now she's paying me back by refusing to respond to my request.

I cannot even believe her lack of professionalism, though I shouldn't be surprised. She used to yell at me, chastise me and publicly berate and humiliate me. She has always been a complete biotch. But now I have to suffer the consequences of having reported her. No matter what, they always have the power over you. The little guys never win.

I feel you completely. I've been there and had the same problem. My old boss won't give me a reference either because I left abruptly due to an illness. Regardless of all the achievements I can list, and all the money and new money I brought in while I was there, he won't give me any kind of reference because I left due to an illness and he felt I was doing them wrong somehow.

Seesaw

Originally Posted by seesaw

I feel you completely. I've been there and had the same problem. My old boss won't give me a reference either because I left abruptly due to an illness. Regardless of all the achievements I can list, and all the money and new money I brought in while I was there, he won't give me any kind of reference because I left due to an illness and he felt I was doing them wrong somehow.

Seesaw

That is SO wrong. You couldn't help that and shouldn't have to pay for it, just like me.

What is wrong with some people?????? Seriously! People can be so vindictive and cannot rise above petty issues to be professional. It makes me absolutely ILL.

I am beyond livid, given how much work I did for my boss and given my achievements. I even listed them out to her in my email to help her when giving a reference. Guess she's just going to be immature and petty. It's pretty pathetic. I brought revenue into the company as well.

[divine1966]

Sorry to hear that. I don’t think all references have to be always from your boss. Can you use reference from a coworker who knows you in a professional capacity? Can you you use one from the boss from a previous job and one from
a coworker from a most recent job?

Originally Posted by divine1966

Sorry to hear that. I don’t think all references have to be always from your boss. Can you use reference from a coworker who knows you in a professional capacity? Can you you use one from the boss from a previous job and one from
a coworker from a most recent job?

Thanks, Divine. I can use HR as a reference from that job, and my supervisors from other jobs. It's just that I worked for her for a total of four years, so it would help to get her reference.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by golden_eve

Thanks, Divine. I can use HR as a reference from that job, and my supervisors from other jobs. It's just that I worked for her for a total of four years, so it would help to get her reference.

Generally yes but not in your situation. In fact I think if there were all kind of problems and formal complaint, she’d likely give bad reference. It’s better to have no reference

Originally Posted by divine1966

Generally yes but not in your situation. In fact I think if there were all kind of problems and formal complaint, she’d likely give bad reference. It’s better to have no reference

I think it's illegal here to give a bad reference? At least I thought so. But yes, probably best that she does not give a reference given the issues. Still, I am burning up angry about it since I worked hard for her for four years and did very well.

Originally Posted by golden_eve

I think it's illegal here to give a bad reference? At least I thought so. But yes, probably best that she does not give a reference given the issues. Still, I am burning up angry about it since I worked hard for her for four years and did very well.

This also brings up all the old memories of her bullying me and how dreadfully horrible she was towards me.

She yelled at me once for 20 minutes straight. She berated me, accused me, blamed me and publicly humiliated me in front of teammates. She never wanted to listen to my expertise and advice, even when I backed it up with other experts' guidance and articles. That is how she drove one business into the ground, by not following my guidance. Practically anything I advised, she fought me on, every single step of the way. Why did she even hire me then? What was my purpose?!?

She held me back from being able to be fully successful. What a completely toxic work environment!

Maybe getting laid off from there was the best thing possible for my own health and sanity.

Granted, I don't yet know the determination on my unemployment claim, which I had to submit over again for review and approval.