I Dread Work... I Miss my Former Life

Ugh, this job sounds like something I would dread, too. Glad to see you are doing better at it now.

Yeah. I dread it. I’m really not doing better actually. I now fear they’re going to fire me.

Sorry to hear that, well you can go back to working at home again. You mentioned it suited you better. Still, I hope you don’t get let go. It’s very depressing to be let go from a job. Good luck

TY. I truly hope I don't get fired either. I never have been.

Hi, I’ve had the same experience at multiple jobs. Supervisors have said really mean things even about mental illness. I found a job that supports and values me! I’m glad you did too... One thing that has helped with my confidence (besides my supervisor’s support) is repeating that affirmation “I am competent.” Keep up the good work!

You said your boss really likes your work so why would they fire you? Is this director, who thinks you don’t know much, is above your other boss? I’d think if they wanted to fire you, they’d tell you what to improve as to give you a chance. Sure people can be fired on
a spot but typically there are some steps to it.

Especially if your work is productive!

Oh yeah, I don't really know any company that doesn't give you some chance to fix issues before they fire you, unless there is some political issue. I mean, it can happen, happened to me, but that was a very toxic environment. And then there was a legal action because of it. Most employers actually want to cover their asses before firing an employee. Unless you are still in your probation period, and then, again, they can do it on the spot.

But it doesn't sound like that will happen for you, Golden. They appear to be working with you to keep you. Get out of your own way.

What great analyses from both of you. I have masters library science. Worked in elem schools-yikes funding crises! I can’t do the technical stuff when I’m stressed and my field has gone in that direction tho less than many others. Work at home is great for many of us because of fewer stressors.
Haven’t found the sweet spot yet in Phoenix. Considering entry level things.
Could everyone mention what professions you’re in?

Thank you all!

I know it's my anxiety and fears talking. Yes, the last time I had a meeting with my boss, he said I was doing well. That was before I broke down and cried telling him I am afraid of failing.

So my fears and anxieties are driving me to believe they will eventually fire me, but you're probably right in that they may first give me a chance. I haven't gained clients yet, so I haven't really had a chance to prove/not prove myself..

I really do feel you will excel and enjoy the work when you are dealing with clients. How long until that happens, Eve?

Thanks so much for your belief in me, Purple! I don't believe in myself, so it's so nice to receive the vote of confidence!

I think it will be soon that I gain clients, though I think they're not sure what to do with me.

I also expressed my concerns over gaining a very large, ecommerce client that has a lot of technical issues. I actually said I'm scared. Those were my words to my boss recently.

My boyfriend warned me about throwing out too many self-doubts and concerns to my boss, but I cannot help myself. I AM scared of that client and I AM afraid of failing with them. It's several large websites, and I've never really handled that before, not ecommerce, and not massive, site-wide technical issues with ecommerce. It's super complex.

I agree with your boyfriend that it's better to save the doubts for your friends/family/forum vs. sharing too many with your boss. There are ways to get support from your boss while still seeming like you come from a position of power i.e. asking how your organization will support you with this challenging client works better than simply sharing your anxious feelings.

I totally agree with this.

Yeah I agree too but the damage is already done. I can try to assure my boss better next time we meet though. I want to emphasize my strengths to him to provide some sort of balance.

—funny thing is, you might end up so enjoying the challenge of the big account if you get the right support, grow into the technology side of it.

Hmm..... I kinda doubt that. I feel very challenged already.

Dare I say that yesterday I started to feel more comfortable at work? I worked on a project I felt pretty good about... it was something which emphasized my strengths. Doing so helped me to feel better. And I felt more like a real part of the crew. Although, the CEO told us that there's been a steady decline in clients canceling contracts lately, so then of course the first thing that popped into my mind was, damn, what if they have layoffs?!? I can't worry about that though. I have enough on my plate. Main point is, I felt a little better yesterday and going into today.

Well, a steady decline in cancelling would mean fewer clients cancelling, so that would be good. But I suspect you meant a steady incline in clients cancelling contracts.

The company should have reserves that carry it through the low times. Consulting firms are like that, there are ups and downs in client volume over time.

Oh yes, Oops, I meant a steady decline in contracts, so therefore, more cancellations.

The CEO doesn't have reserves -- he mentioned that he wants employees to help expand our clientele and services, and that he will be out "selling" to potential clients.... and I know from my interview process that he's never had to do that before. Previously he gained clients simply by word of mouth. So the company is most certainly in trouble!!! EEK.

I was asked by my boss today to review a junior member's client report on website traffic last month and I noticed right off the bat some very concerning stats and data. Looks like she's accelerated site traffic by a HUGE amount, but that traffic is not quality traffic, or qualified buyers. People are spending far less time on the website, they are bouncing off the site by an increase of 47% since last year and are viewing far fewer pages..... so it's not quality traffic she's bringing in. He gave me a knowing look when I asked if it's OK if my analysis is negative. Hm.

I am also freaking $!@^#%^#^*!&#(! pissed. I have to now take the Analytics exam on Tuesday when I thought i had a whole 'nother week to study up. Now I have to do a crash course all weekend, which ruins my entire weekend.


This job is going to be the death of me.

Big hugs, Eve. That's tough about the exam. It'll be great to get it out of the way, though.

Sounds like quite a few positive things are happening!

Thank you purple.

Yeah, you're probably right. Yes, it's not 100% awful.

Although..... I write that, and now that I am trying to study AND understand analytics jargon, definitions and functions, I realize that my brain cannot absorb it easily. My brain doesn't work this way. ARGH. I am SO frustrated. This is a necessary part of my job to understand!!!!!

I think it would be easiest to "get it" by using it rather than trying to study all terminology and how it all works and functions.

I bought a $5 study guide and am struggling with understanding it. So what am I doing instead? I found a test online with all the answers (and reasons why they are right), and I am going to study the answers instead!!!! LOL. Screw it. I need to pass this exam!!!!

Oh man. Just went through two tests, 70 questions each, trying to memorize all the answers. This is absolutely insane. I think I want to change fields completely. I don't think I'm cut out for this work, after all.