Job rejections, a toxic work environment and lowered self esteem

I understand your perspective and I get it not wanting to take the risk being rejected after all this hassle but the reality is that what they want. What did they say when you protested? They will interview you without these steps?

hahaa, of course not. They said thanks for the candid feedback and that they will share it with the hiring managers.

I totally get that it's what certain employers may want - but I've gone through so many rejections and I've done all this work for these companies, all for nothing. So I want a company that doesn't demand work from me.

In nearly all of my hiring experiences over the last decade, I had to provide work samples and/or do a short project to show my capabilities. At least for my current freelance position they paid me for the test project. The only situation where that was not required was with someone I knew professionally before I started working for the company he was launching.


You are in your right to refuse, but it is likely to limit your opportunities.

I don’t want to sound flippant but if you want a company that doesn’t demand work from you it would likely be low pay and not a professional job. Of course you might find companies that won’t demand anything up front but it’s rare. Especially if you want a high pay job. And a high up position. I think it also depends on the field.

Digital/cyber/web/computer science jobs always require stuff prepared for the interview, much of my family are in those fields. They’d not ask RN to show samples, of what? So it depends.

Job search is a terrible and stressful thing. Who has the time for all these samples? I hope you find a company that won’t demand anything or maybe as rechu proposed you can find something through people you know professionally?

Well, if I have to do it, then I will do it, but only if I really want to work for that company.

I got tired, and this one company wanted WAY too much in my opinion, so I declined. They even wanted a peer review from those I would manage - now that makes no sense to me whatsoever. They first wanted a work sample, then an essay questionnaire, then last, a peer review with me giving a presentation of my best work. Forget it.

The last time I did a peer presentation, the hiring manager laughed in my face because the room went completely silent after I finished my presentation. I am not going through that again.

At least I can pick and choose which companies and interviews I wish to pursue. And it IS a two-way street. I have just as much of a right to refuse to go through a particularly grueling interview process as they do in rejecting me. It's my life after all, my work life, and I get to choose which company I want to work for.

I found out today that my only confidante left at work is now leaving the company. Yet another one bites the dust. She lasted 1 year and 9 months and was able to get another job, unlike myself.

But I am annoyed about how and she she told me she's leaving. She called me late yesterday so that we could have a good long venting session, as we have done in the past. It wasn't until an hour or more into our call and venting session that she finally chose to tell me she is leaving. I couldn't believe it. She sat on the phone with me, venting, all that time and never mentioned the fact that she has a job offer and has accepted it? I felt taken as a fool in a way - like she had pulled the wool over my eyes for a full hour before letting me in on her little/big secret.

I am also upset she's leaving because she was my last confidante left within the company. Now there's no one, and I am left all alone to suffer in silence.

Thanks @Bill3!

So...... I had a 1st interview with a new company on Thursday which went very well. Now I am becoming very worried about a rejection in the final round, as things have gone thus far with 6 companies. SIX!!!!!! How does that happen?!? Six times rejected in the final round? Who has heard of such a thing?

This company requires a knowledge test questionnaire (OK), and 3 more interviews.

So, how do I stop myself from projecting a negative outcome onto this brand new interview experience, that could wind up entirely different than all past 6 experiences? I don't know how to stop myself from feeling like and from predicting that I will be rejected yet again, based on recent events. What do I do?

And... I just received a very interesting email on LinkedIn from someone about digital consulting opportunities. I would be compensated on an hourly basis. WOW, if it's a legit opportunity, this may be just the ticket for me on the side. I wrote the guy back.

Is it not advised that in response to the interview question: What's your greatest weakness? That I tell them that as I get older, I have noticed my memory isn't as sharp, therefore, I have to work a bit harder than most, and that's how I compensate for it????

The reason being - I took their questionnaire test, and while I was very familiar with the nature of each question, I had to look up the answers due to memory issues and not recalling all specific details. So, I was familiar with the topic, but had forgotten the details.

Is that bad/considered a negative if I admit a memory issue to my interviewers?!? Obviously, without telling them I had to look up the answers to their test questions! Hahaha.

I think it's a good idea to be honest about your greatest weakness, so if it is your memory, but you have found ways to compensate for it, I think that's a good idea.

Thanks, and you do? I am so uncertain about admitting that. Because of it, I can make mistakes sometimes because I forget important things.. then I remember or am reminded later, and I have to fix my mistake.

I just don't know if it would harm me if I admit to having some memory issues.

I am recalling right now when my former CEO accused me: "you have no confidence in yourself, in me or anyone here" he told me. WTF?!? Where on earth did he get that from? I had done nothing but work hard there and mainly doing well there. It made no sense. He said that after I confronted him on something.

I've already met and interviewed with the VP and next (today), I meet with the Director. However, after I completed their questionnaire whereby I had to look up nearly every answer, the VP wants a second meeting with me. Am I in trouble? What if he calls me out on having looked up the answers? I knew the material (mostly), but the knowledge wasn't readily available in my head, so I needed to look up many of the answers.

I'm scared of this upcoming meeting now.

He isn’t your boss so I’d not be scared. He might just not offer you the position. What else can he do.

What kind of answers did you have to look up and how do they know that you did? Were they watching you? Nearly every question, like look up online? How many questions was it?

18 questions. I looked up many, since I knew the answers, but the details were not fresh in my mind, if that makes sense. Old knowledge hiding somewhere in the cobwebs of my wee brain. lol.

The interview went well enough that I am now meeting with the CEO (final interview), and they've asked and have sent out references checks - a good sign - fingers crossed this one floats.

That’s good. They likely don’t know if you looked up answers or not.

True. They have to know that the test format certainly leaves the door open for people to look up the answers, and they don't tell you not to in the instructions.

Well any format will allow people to look up things on their phone if they aren’t being watched. Perhaps if the test is timed I guess they’d be no time to look it up but I assume they aren’t timed. Are you concerned that you don’t know the answers or knowing this stuff won’t be essential for your job?

I'm actually not concerned about that anymore. In my field, I look most things up online - there's far too much to know. Now I am hoping I get an offer. I just need to get through one more interview.

Which begs the question - normally, through an interview process, I will thank each one of my interviewers individually by email after the interview, hoping of course that I get invited to the next step.

This time, since the interviews have been quickly scheduled right after one ends, I haven't sent any thank you letters yet.

Today I meet with the CEO.

Do you think it's best if after I meet with her, that I send each interviewer a brief thank you note, expressing my enthusiasm for the role as well? Or, do I send one just to the CEO? I am not sure what to do?

Personally: I would still write to each person, not just the CEO. To me, it is always a good thing to do, and I wouldn't like the possibility of them getting together to discuss you and the CEO says I got a lovely thank you note from her and everyone else says/realizes that only the CEO got one.

I’d send it to everyone if I have their emails

Thank you, both!

I wrote to each person individually.

Only 1 out of 3 references have completed the reference form that this company sent. I looked at it, and it's an insanely LONG form, which 18 multiple choice questions, plus three written questions. This company is SUPER careful about whom they hire - wow. So I had to write to 2 of my references this morning, acknowledging the form length, and asking them if they could please provide me with a reference.

I am scheduled to speak with the company's VP again today. Late yesterday, he told me he has one reference so far, but that he wanted to speak with me by phone. I figure this is a good sign again - I mean, IF I were being rejected, why would he want to speak with me, right?

Good luck!