Job rejections, a toxic work environment and lowered self esteem

Yesterday I had to have a meeting with my CEO, the VP of Marketing and the VP of client services about one of my clients whose website is struggling to succeed online. I finally just came out with it and said "their website sucks". I showed my CEO a competitor, whose site is far more built out and far more professional looking to actually gain leads and sales. I told my CEO that my client needs to increase the content on their website in order to even begin to compete online and to obtain sales.

On Monday I have a meeting with said client to discuss a content strategy that I am building out based on keywords with search volume and on competitor sites' content that ranks well in the search engines. My CEO is joining this meeting, and I am NOT happy about that. I mean, I feel like he's placing the blame of their lack of success on ME, when in fact, it's that their site SUCKS and cannot sell products in its current state. I am tempted to tell them that they really need to design the site far better and have a professional come in to help them with that expansion of their product pages.

I am just so annoyed at how far my CEO micromanages. I mean, in our meeting yesterday, apparently my CEO was privy to some confusing emails I sent my client regarding their old website still being indexed in Google. Yeah, I got confused about how to handle this issue because they have both websites appearing in Google's index, and there was no clear or easy way to redirect the old site to the new site. My CEO challenged me on my conclusion, which involved deactivating the old website, and I had to defend my stance by saying I consulted internally with our newest team member, who is a bit more senior than myself in our field of expertise and who is more skilled in the technical aspects of our job. I know that redirecting the old site is ultimately the best practice, but I couldn't figure out a way to redirect the site.

It's like every little thing now is annoying me in my job - everything. I am really miserable and I cannot shake this feeling, even on the weekend on my days off.

Wow oh woweeeee! I had an AMAZING second interview and this time with the company owner. She said at the end that it was wonderful to speak with me and earlier she had stated that my background and LinkedIn profile are amazing. We had a great casual conversation which was really more of a getting to know you session. She tells me the next step is a more formal interview whereby I would speak with her and the VP together. I have a good feeling about this one, but I don't want to jinx it!!!! I pray I get the final interview.

I will pray about it as well. Congratulations on the good steps so far!

Aw, thanks for the prayers, @Bill3!!!

I allowed my negativity at work to pour out onto my poor colleague yesterday, but I was beside myself and exasperated by a managerial decision that effected my work. I had worked on one project for at least a couple hours, and the Account Services VP decided that he doesn't want to send this work to my client. So why did I spend two hours or more on it then? I snapped. I unloaded on my account manager and told her it's really maddening that I don't have a voice anymore when it comes to my own client work and when it comes to communicating strategies to my own clients. All of my communications have to go through account services to the clients. I cannot email my clients directly, and that's a huge change they made in our process after my first tenure in this company. It leaves ME with very little voice, it takes away my ability to establish understanding and rapport with my clients, and I think it was a bad managerial decision to change the process. Before, I was able to establish trust with my clients through regular communications regarding strategies and steps. But now? It's as though they don't trust my team to communicate properly with our own clients.

I truly hate my company and it became known to my colleague even more through my outpour yesterday. I felt I couldn't control or help myself.... I don't like that feeling when I cannot control my reactions, but I couldn't help it - it just all came out.

Had an awesome final interview with this agency! Fingers crossed I get an offer! I won't hear until Monday, most likely, so I have to wait all weekend. UGH.

Praying!

Thank you @Bill3!!!

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Thank you @sarahsweets!

Ok, so I am having a bit of a meltdown. I have to wait ALL weekend before I hear whether I have an offer or not. And I am MISERABLE. I HATE my current job, and IF I have to continue on there for any amount of time, I think I am really going to lose it and will go downhill even worse. IF I have to endure this dysfunctional work environment and IF I get rejected yet again after the final round, I am afraid that my mental health is going to further downward spiral.

I am VERY WORRIED about myself. And I am sitting in sheer misery, every second wondering if I have an offer.

Do you have a safety plan, just in case?

Hang in there!

Good luck, fingers crossed, get yourself busy with something distracting so you don’t agonize until Monday

No safety plan... I am not in that kind of danger. But I am taking a couple days off around Christmas and New Years. Hopefully, that will help.

Thanks @divine1966! I'll try my best to distract myself.

So, I received a message from one of my interviewers in reply to my thank you note. She sent it on Sunday morning, just saying I hope you have a wonderful weekend and we'll be in touch very soon. My husband thought it would be overkill if I replied to that email, so I did not reply.

Was that a mistake? Is the best thing to do is to say something like thanks for the update?

“Thank you” for the update is very appropriate. I’d send it this morning. No expectations of sending or receiving emails on Sundays. Overkill would be asking if you got the job or something like that

Thank you, @divine1966! My gut instinct said I should at least say thanks for the update. It seems like the polite and appropriate thing to do. I don't always take my husband's advice. lol. Sometimes he is wrong about business dealings.

I sent a simple note just now.

It can’t be wrong to send a quick note. I don’t see how they would think anything of it.

Yet another rejection. I am going to lose it now. I am soooooooo done and this sucks.

I'm so very sorry to hear.

Thanks @Bill3.

I am crushed. I literally cannot take this anymore.

It sounds like things seemed to have gone well, and somebody even went out of their way to contact you afterwards. No wonder you feel so crushed. I'm really sorry.