Negative thinking in new job when faced with new challenges

Thanks @Bill3!

Hmm.... I built a client "deliverable" (ie, work being delivered to the client) in Google sheets and presented it to my boss late Friday. No response yet. It didn't occur to me until just now that perhaps he wants this deliverable in powerpoint slides, and that I now need to recreate the entire presentation in slides. UGH. He also did not respond to me yesterday regarding an issue I am helping to troubleshoot for a client. I sent several messages.

Now I am concerned again that they are going to let me go. I know it's my fears talking, but I am not getting a warm fuzzy feeling.

My boss is not engaging with me much, which raises my alerts that I may be let go. I send him messages and work I've completed, and he doesn't reply unless I ask a direct question.

I have been offering my opinion and input on various team things. Yesterday and the day before I felt like my input fell in deaf ears, as though it didn't matter. I am wondering if my boss already thinks they will let me go. I am sure he has a say in this since he's evaluating my work.

I don't like being in this position of revisiting whether we're a good match in a month. A month is two weeks away, and I am sitting on pins and needles not knowing if my work and input is valued and not knowing whether I will be fired or not.

And I don't have the energy right now to continue applying for jobs. I'm just sick of all of this.

I have an interview today for a client services role that I am excited about. Fingers are crossed that I make it through the rounds!

Good luck in your interview! 🙂

Thanks @Bill3! It went well!

She wants me to speak with the hiring manager, but it's up to him if he wants to speak with me after speaking with the recruiter and reviewing my resume.

And..... I have to drop this in here right now.

I had a most surprising call from a former client of mine. He called out of the blue to tell me how much he appreciates me and how much he misses having me working on his account. I was sooooo tickled and flattered and I realized that I received 0 accolades in my last job, and it's effected me since I work very very hard. He told me that I gave a %^%@^ about his success, and how rare it is to find someone who cares so deeply. He also complimented my research and problem solving skills. Detective work, he calls it. Investigative. Anyways, I had to share this great piece of news since it made me feel really really good, and I haven't felt great lately. This made my week. And probably the whole month.

Congratulations!! That's awesome!!

In the world of gig work/consulting, we call this a client reference.

Hope everything works out with your interview.

Thank you!!

Yes! And what a great reference it is!!!

Thanks for the well wishes!

Have Hope deserves a amazing job

Thank you @willowtigger!

It's so wonderful to have a cheering squad through my trials and tribulations!

I have an interview with the hiring manager and the client services director next Tuesday! Hooray!!!!! I cannot wait for this. I am THRILLED. I have a good feeling about this one this time. I feel like this is truly the right fit for my skill set and that it's the perfect marriage of all of my experience blended together. AND, I have had my eye on this company's openings for a couple of years now. It's a large digital agency that works with large brand names, something I've wanted for a while now.

So, I am very excited that I have an opportunity to speak with them! Since I also have a glowing reference from my former client, I think if it comes down to references, that I will ask him if he would provide one for me. Possibly. But we are not there yet, so I don't want to get ahead of myself, though of course I am already thinking this way.

It's a lower salary too, but it doesn't bother me all that much. IF I can get the job offer, I will be so happy that it won't even matter. I can still get by on what they offer and I can still have a little extra each month to play with, and that's Ok by me.

Good luck on Tuesday!!

Good luck! Hope it works out well for you.

I've used several client references in the past. If I were in your job hunting position, I would reach out to the client and ask now if you can use them as a reference. A simple explanation that you never know when you may use it but you will let him know if you share his contact info with a potential employer/client is a very professional approach. And if they ask you next week for a reference, you are prepared on the spot.

That's how I won my last gig assignment. I called my references from the parking lot of the client to give them a heads up. Later in the day my reference called me back to give me the heads up that they called. The next morning I was negotiating salary and got what I wanted in compensation.

Goodluck your amazing ❤️

Thanks! I just followed your suggestion and asked my client if he would provide a reference for me!!!

Thanks @Biill3!

Awww, thank you sooo much @willowtigger!

So, my client is happy to provide a reference - hooray!!

And, I am thinking I will be let go next week from my job, possibly. They have been giving me very menial, low level tasks lately - I am doing data entry for a very high salary. I only have 1-2 more meaningful projects next week, yet my high salary certainly is not warranted given the level of work I am doing. If I were the CEO or my boss, I would be raising an eyebrow over what I can really do for them at this point. I don't think my work measures up to their standards. I had two bigger projects earlier in the month that I handed in to my boss - I've received no feedback on either one, and the VP asked to look at my work as well. This is why I think they're going to let me go - or, they're trying to push me out.

IF I get let go, and IF this other role works out and I get an offer, God willing, then all could work out quite well in fact. But if this other job does not work out and I get let go, then I will be in yet another stressful situation being unemployed with very little money to live on. And, if I don't get let go, what am I really doing there? I'd like to do more than just data entry!

This is all just so very stressful.

Keep on hanging in there!

Thanks, Bill! I will and am.

I had an interview, and I don't know how I feel about it. In response to a couple things I said, my interviewer said to me, "I love that!". So I felt that was very positive at least. But in a few places, I could have done better, and I don't feel that I finished strong. My last words came across as very flat and monotone to me. My video also failed me so I had to call in instead, which stressed me out from the outset of the interview. It was only a half hour interview and it felt more like an initial screening interview. It wasn't with the hiring manager either. It was with someone else, a step below the hiring manager. I pray that they ask me back for another round. I really want this job.

I really should have had a red bull before the interview. That energizes me and helps me to come across as very energized and enthusiastic. UGH.

This is the week I am supposed to talk to my CEO about my current position. They haven't approached me yet about a meeting.

In general? I feel like my best lately is not good enough. I am trying .... and I keep seeing myself falling down a lot. I fell down a few times in the interview because I was thrown off - not only by the video not working, but by her line of questioning, which wasn't at all what I prepared for or expected. And in my current job? I feel like I am not doing things well enough, despite my best efforts. I feel like a failure.