Negative thinking in new job when faced with new challenges

Thanks @Bill3.

I feel useless. No wonder they keep me at a lower level - it's because I cannot advance and because I'm freaking useless.

My partner I was working with on a website audit, well, she overhauled our entire presentation the other day, making me feel entirely useless in the project. Before she overhauled it, we had contributed fairly equally to this project. Granted, what she did was amazing and it looks far better now. It's a far better presentation, but I feel like I could never have achieved what she did, and she learned how to do it in no time. She is relatively new to the company as well, but is more senior than I am.

What's wrong with me? Why can't I learn this stuff? I used to learn hard things more easily than this. Why can't I do these presentations?

I asked her to help show me how she came up with the ideas she did when she overhauled it. She's supposed to show me soon so that I can learn from her.

I just feel SO inept, SO stupid and SO useless in this particular job!

So, while I want to progress and do the job I was hired to do, these complex presentations are an obstacle for me and I can't seem to get past them. I hope I can learn something from my more senior colleague, but this is why my self esteem and self image are so low at this stage.

And when my boss said the presentation is looking really good yesterday? I had to give my colleague all the credit.

To boot, I am training on a complex software program all this week, and I keep having to ask my trainer to show me precisely how to do things.

I have NEVER felt more inept in a job. This job is making me feel horrible about myself.

WOW - OK, this news is a MAJOR TURNAROUND in my current job and plight. I had a very positive and encouraging mtg with my boss this AM. He mentioned that they have a need opening up for a Content Manager and he thought I would be a good fit for the job. So, basically, they DO like me, they DO value the work I have been doing regarding content, and they may want to move me into a different role.

So, that's an interesting twist. I would have to see what the job entails, naturally. IF I were to have to constantly ideate new content 24/7, I don't think I would last very long. But, if the work became more varied, I just might be interested.

That’s exciting! Is it officially offered to you? I’d take it. It can’t be worse so whatever it is, it’s got to be better than current situation!

Thanks! It is not officially offered yet. It’s just an idea right now tossed my way. It is rather exciting! I mean, if the work is more varied I would be happier. I still would prefer to work more closely with people though. This job is very much solo work. It’s a toss up between switching to client services for a lower salary and possibly keeping my higher salary with a content role. I’d love to keep my high salary AND be more satisfied with the work I’m doing. I have to learn more about what the Content Manager job would entail.

I've been deliberating over this all weekend. I need to know more about this Content Manager role they may be offering me, but,

here are the pros and cons

Pros:

No more interviews, which are very difficult and grueling for me
No more job rejections for now
I likely get to keep my salary and can save 24K in one year - I have got to start saving for retirement - I also have other extra expenses I need to pay for like very important dental work - I can also actually afford a vacation
I don't risk losing my job if I say no
Not a ton of meetings
I do not exactly know what client services/account management is like because I've actually never done it - what if I don't like it and I've said no to a job I believe I can do?
I won't lose 15-20K in salary
My company is very supportive of me and apparently values my work
1/2 day summer Fridays, which are awesome

Cons:

I may not be working with other people as much as I'd like
My company is very demanding and has very high standards, which adds an extra challenge
Some clients are very difficult to create content for due to the nature of their products/services

The pros far outweigh the cons. My mom says it's a no-brainer. Stay put in your company, she said, and take the new position if it's offered.

No brainer. Id take a new position if offered. Then go from there

Yeah I think so. My boss today told me “no promises”. Uh oh.

Now I am concerned that they may not give me this new position. What if I don't get it? Then what happens?

My boss said they're looking at the structure of my team and would also like to know my career goals. I don't know specifically what my career goals are. All I know is that I want to get out of my field of practice and do something more fulfilling & less stressful. I was looking into account management/client services, but that means leaving my company because we do not have that department.

And, now that they have mentioned a Content Manager role, my ears are perked up.

I have my 90-day review meeting with my boss next Monday. I should probably know the answer to his question by then. What do I say?

I wouldn’t specifically tell him that you want to do something they don’t offer but are there people in the company who work with clients directly? They don’t have a department but they must have someone talking to clients?

The digital strategy teams work directly with clients and function as account managers. So there are no account managers in my company.

Ok, so I panicked and switched gears. Until I know more and until I actually have a job offer in my current company, I realized they could still let me go. So I called an old colleague and sent my resume to him to forward to the right person in his own agency for a client services/account management role. I need to keep looking because it's definitely possible that I could still be fired or laid off.

Also, I don't feel I am doing a very good job with coming up with article ideas for some of these clients, and for several, I am running out of steam and ideas. Somehow, I managed to come up with enough articles through June '22 for most clients, but beyond that? It gets more and more difficult the further I go. For one client, I had to stop altogether after January because it was taking me a half an hour to come up with one single article idea. That's a very slow pace.

I feel better having reached out to my former colleague. I feel it's best to keep options open right now. My company isn't promising me anything.

So, I am proud of myself. I found a creative solution to speed up my article ideation process for that one client and I was able to complete 60 more articles for them in one day or eight hours. My boss gave me a very positive public kudos in response. He wrote, " (my name) knocked it out of the park creating editorial calendars for our clients". I was really pleased that he did this. It made me feel good about the work I am doing.

I am also proud of the fact that this week, I got through all of the more challenging clients for whom I am creating blog articles. I did not think I could do it, and I did it!

My 90-day review is on Monday with my boss. I think it will be a lot more positive than the last review. I am a bit anxious though.

I met with him yesterday and gave him my elevator pitch for the Content Manager job. Still no promises and I still don't know specifics. It could be a few weeks, but he reiterated that he sees a need within the company for this position.

That’s great news! Keep it up the good work!

Thanks @divine1966!

I have my 90-day review today. I am nervous.

My review was delayed until Wed. SIGH.

How was it hope?

Delayed yet AGAIN!!! Argh.

.

That sucks. I hate having to worry.

Yes, it sucks, though my boss reassured me by saying there's nothing bad and that he's been very happy with my development. So, there's that at least.

Congratulations!

That’s very good!

Thanks divine and bill!

I really hope my review is scheduled soon. I'm dying to know what it says.