Rude & condescending managers. Should I tell them to be more respectful or not?

Two of my managers at work are rude & condescending to me & other people. It seems like they both dislike me & that I get treated the worst out of everyone at work it seems like.

I was always treated them both with respect. I think that they don’t like me because I made a few mistakes & two clients complained about me.

The clients lashed out at me for no apparent reason. I’m a caregiver for people who have mental health issues.

This one female manager has a nasty attitude. The first client who lashed out at me for supposedly judging her kicked me out of her place. The manager then had the nerve to tell me that I’m ‘to sensitive’.

Ugh! Rude! The client was never told that what they did was wrong or whatever. It seems like they believe everything the client tells them. The client can get away with almost everything that isn’t illegal & they know it.

The managers shouldn’t let clients verbally abuse their employees. The clients know better, but they choose to behave badly at times knowing that nothing will be done about anything.

The second client was very rude & talked down to me like I was her maid. She got pissed at me for not talking to her more. She accused me of being full of b.s, moody & that I needed to go clean things now.

She only apologized to me after I complained about her behavior to her parents. The female manager ignored what I texted her. She only told me later that I was being reassigned as I wasn’t a good fit for the last client because of my personality or something like that.

Thankfully that spoiled bratt is no longer my client. I should’ve dropped her as a client after that outburst.

She was normally polite, so that was weird. She then said she wanted another caretaker.

I think that this female manager now hates me as she knows both clients. She has worked with them before & is friendly with both of them.

In the last meeting I brought up some concerns about the new location I was going to as that house stunk really bad, but they finally got around to fixing the problem. I wasn’t sure of that.

She then told me in a rude & mean tone of voice that I’m going there like I didn’t gave a choice.

I was upset, but I was able to remain professional & polite. I heard that all of the nanagers there, even the only nice calm one has had an attitude with other employees there.

My friend who used to work there said that one nanager can be nice sometimes then mean other times. She said the main manager is rude too.

I understand that they’re always stressed & they never get time off, but they shouldn’t be rude too the employees.

How can I bring this up without upsetting them? I’m afraid that they might get mad & then not end up giving me overtime hours or raises.

Would it be OK to say: Can you please not talk to me in that tone? I deserve to be treated with respect back. I’m always respectful to you, so I expect you to be respectful to be back. I’d appreciate it.

Would it do any good to complain to the main manager or Human Resources?

They tell each other everything they said. I don’t want to give them a reason to fire me.

Why would that one female manager be so nasty to me? The first client bad mouthed me to her & god knows what she told her.

I do know for a fact that she told her something personal about me to her that wasn’t work related. That client gad a big mouth & she loved to spread gossip about everyone she knew.

I heard that H.R doesn’t care about employees issues & that they’re there to protect the company.

What should I do? I rarely see the managers outside of meetings. They’ll stop by a clients place every one ot two months sometimes.

Why is this manager so nasty to me?

No one can answer why people do this of that as we don’t know them.

But it’s perfectly fine to tell your boss to not yell or be rude. You don’t have to take abuse.

I’d not complain to HR though. They’ll look at it as you’ve been with this company less than a year and you’ve been getting into conflicts and problems with people: both clients and staff. So they’ll label it as your fault.

But talking directly to your immediate boss is very appropriate, maybe even in writing. They need to be respectful

Yes I think it’s okay to say specific things, for instance if the manager is shouting to ask them to lower their voice. Just keep it calm and relevant and specific, avoid listing a whole load of grievances in one go imo because even if it’s genuine it can come across as complaining.

If you do decide to raise the issue with your managers I'd recommend being as specific as possible. For example, "On Tues. March 4 when I asked you a question, you yelled at me, and that bothered me. I'd appreciate it if you could talk to me more respectfully." This is harder for them to dismiss than a more generic, "I don't like it when you yell at me"


Also, not sure how this works in the US since I'm in Canada. Are you out of the probationary period (first 3 months normally here in Ontario). If not, you might want to held off until you are, because here you can be fired for no reason and no notice at any time during the probationary period.

Thanks for the advice. I didn’t really do anything wrong with them or the clients.

Two clients lashed out at me. The first one thought that I was judging her just for voicing an opinion she didn’t like. The second one expected me to intiate conversations more.

She was rude & treated me like a maid. She snapped at me after I asked her how to use something in the kitchen.

They probably would think that I’m the problem s though. Even if I wasn’t, they’d probably still blame me for things.

I’ll politely but firmly let the managers know next time in person to be more respectful to me. They’d just ignore me in a text like they tend to do sometimes.

They shouldn’t be abusive to employees like this. It’s rude & unprofessional.

Thanks for the advice. I’ll keep it short when the time comes in person.

Thanks for the advice. Things work the same way here too. I’ve been at this company for 8 months so far.

I didn’t say you did anything wrong. But it might look like that to them.

OK. Probably.