[SubvertNormality]

I've been smoking marijuana for just over a year now, and since then my mum has found out, and my school knows too. they've decided to put me in drugs counselling, but, to be honest, I dont think I need to go. Alot of my friends smoke it too, so why do I need to get counselling?! Compared with heroin and crack addicts I dont really see a problem...Pot sets me free... Can anyone explain to me what drug counselling does and how it helps?!
thanks
x

[LMo]

Subvert -- now, I AM a pot smoker so hopefully this won't sound hypocritical, but hear me out as to why drug counselling isn't a bad idea. The problem isn't so much pot vs other drugs, but rather why you need to be 'set free'. Free from what? The other problem is that you are pretty young. I don't mean that as a slam, but as someone who was once young myself, I know that when we use substances (alcohol, drugs) at a young age, it makes us much more susceptible to addiction and lowers the standard for what other substances we are willing to experiment with.

Our concern as parents seeing a young person do things like drink or try drugs is that we worry that if we DON'T intervene, that it may turn into a lifelong substance abuse problem. If we had some kind of crystal ball into the future and could guarantee that our teenagers would always be responsible with regard to pot or drinks, then we probably wouldn't freak out as easily. But worst case scenario is that your mom doesn't do or say anything to you about it and then next thing you know the situation has gotten completely out of control and you've messed up your life. THAT is what she is probably worried about -- not the fact that you smoke a little pot now and then. Think of all the guilt she would go through if she ignored it and you ended up a drug addict.

Can you see it now from her perspective? She doesn't have much choice as a parent than to do something about it.

Here's what I recommend. Tell her that you are willing to see a therapist for 5 sessions, and if after 5 sessions the therapist recommends that you need drug counselling, that you will go without complaint. Therapy is great -- you'll find that everyday problems are easier to deal with if you have a 'team' of people to help you work on them, so you might as well get the free therapy while you have the option. If you really don't have a drug problem, then the therapist can tell your mom that and get her off your case. But if the therapist DOES think you have a problem, well, then you owe it to yourself to get the drug counselling.

What do you think?

[JohnShaft]

I'm a smoker too and don't think anyone younger than 18 should try it. I agree with LMo.

[kimmydawn]

hi and welcome.

i don't smoke pot, never have. i'm the mother of two daughters 22 & 17. having said this, i want to say what i think about it.

if you were my youngest daughter. i'd be very concerned. the young age makes it possible to graduate to other drugs quickly. that would be my concern and why i would want her in treatment...for that reason alone. feeling the need to smoke pot to "feel good or escape" can lead to the usuage of harder drugs for the same reasons.

i, personally, don't think pot a hard drug, etc. i have alot of friends who smoke. i think alcohol a much more dangerous drug actually. that's just my personal opinion.

i think the concern with you is your age and the reason that your using to "use". take advantage, then make your own decision when you're of age

kd

[SubvertNormality]

LMo, thanx. I can see things from my mum's point of view, I guess she really is worried, but its her who gave me weed in the first place, so I guess she'd feel majorly guilty if I ended up an addict.
I agree with u now, and my therapist has recommended drug counselling so i think i'll go for it.
Thanks for your advice,
Raych xxx

Pot will set you free. It will set you free to try something harder and stronger and that,again, will set you free. And before you know it, you'll be so free that you won't be able to find your *** with both hands.....I've worked in the psych field, I've had kids that smoked pot and I've done my research. It is a known fact that pot leads to other things. I'd consider that before I decided that it's okay to smoke it.....Good luck, Pat

[saudade]

Weed can be an excellent remedy for a number of social disfunction, including anxiety. While anxiety pills will most certainly contribute to a person's depression, weed will not make you depressed.
It can slow you down, though, and maybe that's not so good for you right now... Just guessing.

Weed will not make you want to do other (illegal) drugs. What makes people try different drugs is mainly curiosity; nobody's gonna hold a gun to your head and say, "take this LSD" or "snort this NOW."

If I had a kid, I'd probably do what your mom did - since it's not legal, I'd rather have my kid smoke it at home with me (yes, I use the herb too) than leave him/her to be harassed by the police or something.

Harm reduction, though, is never a bad concept. If you can, say, smoke only on weekends or something, it would probably be best for ya. You're still growing up. :-)

Maybe you'd like to ask your counselors about Harm Reduction? Or try www.harmreduction.org

[LMo]

Saudade, nobody said that pot will MAKE you want to do other illegal drugs. But from my personal experience, self-discipline plummets after smoking.

My ex husband and I had a big argument about what you're saying you'd do with your kid. I used to have a teenage stepson, and while I, again, have no problem admitting that pot-smoking is okay under certain circumstances, I wanted NO PART of my ex's idea of smoking pot with his kid. First of all, I don't think that kids would automatically stop being interested in smoking outside of the house. Then, all your kid needs to do is tell ONE friend that his dad is so cool that he lets him smoke pot... and next thing you know it's around the school like wildfire and Children's Services is knocking at your door and taking your kid away.

My opinion is to tell my kids about my rules for myself with regard to pot smoking. *I* decided (not my parents, not my teachers, just me) to abstain until I got to college, and then I had another rule for myself that I wouldn't take more than 2 hits in the same night for at least a year.

Now, as an adult, I don't have the same rules for myself, but I think it's important for kids to know that THEY can be in charge of their own discipline. I like Saudade's idea of only smoking on weekends, or mine of taking no more than 2 hits or waiting until a certain age. Under 18 is, in my opinion, just too young to form habits.

[hereiam]

In the long run, smoking pot made me 100x more anxious and paranoid than I already had been (except I wasn't paranoid when I was sober...). Just saying. Pot can be helpful, but pot can also be destructive. I had smoked it for 5 years until I had to stop because it made my anxiety so bad. Maybe this intervention is good for you?

[giri_piri]

I agree with LMO, my paranoia and anxiety gets worse with pot, but I love pot, it's been tough trying to quit because of my 'love' for it. But I think I love life better!!!

[SubvertNormality]

I have seen a few friends go thru bad Paranoia and Anxiety as a result of smoking pot for long periods of time. However, its never happened to me, and I hope it never will, though I doubt thats gunna happen...
I had my first Drugs Counselling session a few days ago, and to be honest, it was really helpful! more than I expected. We're working on cuttin down to the weekends for now, and helping to save my money. I'd say to anyone who considered their use of drugs problematic - see a drugs counsellor!
Theyre not scary demons who say "Right, stop taking drugs!" as I expected.

Good for you!!!! I'm happy about that. Cutting back is very smart of you.....and you will save money.......xoxox pat

[kittykat_kezzz_purrr_meow]

Hi, my Uncle gave me a joint at 13 which led to a 22yr habit. In my mind it made cool, tough. Throughout the time I also thought I loved it to a point I couldn't do without it, became heavily addicted to it. Just the thought of going without, no way, how boring life would be being a straighthead. I needed it to help me get through all the crap, to help me relax.
After getting sick, being broke all the time. After a supposed friend stole pot & money off me & left me not high but dry, no food etc, had had a gutful by this time, making the dealers rich who didn't give a damn bout me anyway, only my $$$. I gave up cold turkey.
I know now what it feels like to be straight, it's not boring like I thought & will never let a plant control & destroy my life again. Could have bought a house, car etc..with all that $$$ wasted. Nothing left to show for it but a mental illness & more sense about me.
It is so good to think clearly without being stoned.

Anyway, hope you don't make the same mistakes I did.
Take care
>>>Kezzz<<<

[giri_piri]

Hey Kezza! You made a good point there about the cash. I also think I have waisted thousands of £'s getting high all my life. Not only getting high but getting ripped off by the "dealers", I used to buy my spliff of the street and the amount of times they would run away with my money makes me mad, and gives me a sinking feeling but I would just go to the cash machine and get some more money out and do it all over again. I reckon in the last 5 years I have been 'stung' about 30 times, most of the dealers do a good job of giving a real deal, but you never know whether he is a crack addict or what.

Sometimes, they would take my money and give me leaves, or herbs and once I even got bark, most rently I bought a stone for £20, thinking it was hash. On the street, there are cops around and there's no time to risk exposing the stuff in public. Having been aressted for pot 4 years ago, and cautioned, I won't risk it!!!

But what has really got my goat is when you confront a dealer who has stung you, you never know what he's on himself, he's obviously desparate for cash and will do anything to get it. Sometimes they have threatened to stab me or beat me up. So not only have a lost my money but my confidence has taken a beating. It makes me feel weak and defenseless and like I can't stand up for myself.

I think it's wise to just stay away from the whole scene, the dugs game is a nasty place with little emotion...

[SubvertNormality]

I've been ripped by dealers before, and if they arent givin you bush or herbs, u get a shoddy amount for your money! Now I jus stick to buyin off my friends who grow their own.
Only once have I confronted a dealer and it was damn scary, he had his "boys" wiv him and they chose to gang up on me, I didnt kno wat to do! I had to accept defeat and walk away, they know theyre superior to me because I need them for my weed!
Anyway, my drugs counsellor has me write down everyday how many joints I've smoked, and how I feel before and after. My target is to spend only £20 a week as opposed to the £70 a week i'm using now. I seriously hope I can make this target, as it would prove to people, as well as myself, that I can be a strong person!

[nnsv]

Any advise on quitting......I have smoked for about 20 years......I too started to have bad anxiety about a year ago but my doctor prescribed an antidepressant to deal with that and now I can tolerate the smoke. I lead a very productive life......working full-time......good job....good marriage....two beauiful children.......work-out 3-5 days per week......attend church.......yet I like to smoke.....i just worry about the social context of it.......what people think..........are they going to take my children from me if they find out??? Will I go to jail??? these are the things I worry about.........I suppose if it were like drinking alcohol I could just sit back and enjoy.........Needless to say I think about quitting a lot because I love my life and I don't want someone to take it away from me simply for smoking.

[BamaSurvivor]

nnsv, I know all don't think this way, but personally, I feel that if you would be ashamed for people as a whole to know, then it's probably a bad idea to be doing it. When you smoke and think that your kids could be taken away from you, that's a huge red flag, don't you think? Most states allow parents to drink and still keep their kids (unless it becomes a really bad problem), but I don't know of any who allow much other drug use. Marijuana stays in the system for awhile, even if you quit now and two weeks from now someone reports you to Social Services, it'll still be there and the kids could still be taken from the home. Then you'd have to worry about explaining to your children why they had to leave mommy and daddy and how it's not their fault, because they will believe it's their fault.

I hope this post doesn't come off as offensive, I really don't mean for it to be. Just voicing my opinion as a 'kid' who was taken from parents when I was little for drug abuse.

[nnsv]

Yes, I agree that it is probably a red flag, just a little difficult to change, It's as if I need total drama to change bad habits in my life.......right now it works so I go with it, but my kids are 8 and 4 and I know one day that may change. That is a shame about you being taken as a small child.......What happened??? I mean I guess it's really hard for me to see how anyone could think of taking my children just because I smoke......I mean they are well cared for, we do lot's of fun stuff as a family, they are highly intelligent, doing well in school and preschool, about the only issue with them is that they are headstrong and independent.......I don't know personally, I wish it were just legal, I mean heck, alcohol to me is way worse. I would be interested in hearing your story if you would like to share........maybe I would understand how my smoking may indirectly impact the lives of my children.

[BamaSurvivor]

A lot of people who smoke marijuana for long periods of time often become 'slower' to things that would normally be like instant reflexes. Say your child is in bed but suddenly starts choking. If you are high, sometimes you can't notice that right off because the sound is far off or your reaction is just slow in general. That's why social services are against that as well.

My dad is a recovering alcoholic and my mom a pot head. I was born on a feeding tube the first two months of life because my mom smoked during her whole pregnancy. I had lung problems and couldn't breathe well on my own nor could I clamp on to my mothers breast, so I couldn't eat on my own either. I have a lot of health issues still that I have to take medication for... But I was taken away from there, and when they got me back I was taken away again at 6 years old for my mom still smoking pot. She's quit since, though. She knew third strike and she was out for good and her parental rights would be taken away.

[nnsv]

Wow, That is horrible.......I gave up smoking when I was pregnant, but I hated it......I would sneak a hit like once a week, both of my children were born very healthy thank goodness.......I have a good husband who drinks occassionally and doesn't smoke or do any other type of drug, never has, he knows a lot of people who have and he tolerates my smoking, but complains about the smell and tells me I need to quite smoking cigarettes all the time, moreso than pot. I don't know, I am very attentive to my kids and we have a wonderful loving family life....I am appalled at stories where children are poorly treated due to drug abuse, I mean yes, I smoke but I don't neglect any of my life responsibilities. Like I said my only fear is that my daughter, when she learns about drugs through the DARE program at school will probably tell everyone that her mommy smokes and not think anything of it.......what do you think would happen in that case???? Would they call the police and come to my house???? What happened in your case, were you actually being neglected and abused when they took you away???

[misty]

part of my question is alcohol vs pot

[BamaSurvivor]

If word gets to any school official during her DARE program days, then yes, they will come to your home and they will then get involved and 90% she'll be taken from the home as well as the other children. I wasn't being neglected when I was taken away the second time. I was by my father, but I've always been neglected by him drinking or not drinking. But my mother was a good mom, tried making up for her wrongs during pregnancy with me. Word just got out somehow and they found out she was still smoking so they restarted the case. Took her going through a rehab program, parenting classes, color code drug screenings, and a few other programs before I was returned home.

[nnsv]

Well, I appreciate the word.......I have certainly begun my journey to one day quit.....I am already undergoing therapy and read a lot of books.......It seems that I go through phases of controlling my habit. I know one thing it would only take one time for someone to attempt to disrupt my family and I would stop smoking in a heartbeat. I am sorry that you had to grow up with alcohol, which by the way is a much more wicked drug than pot if you ask me.

[nnsv]

What about it???? I think that alcohol is far worse than pot.......it evokes violence and makes you feel physically horrible after drinking.

[BamaSurvivor]

I'm a recovering addict and alcoholic and I'll be the first to admit alcohol is worse than marijuana as far as remembering things, actions, etc, etc goes... I'll never understand why it's not ok for pot but is ok for alcohol to be used in the home. If anything, both should be taken away if it's going to be that way.