[o.kay]

I think it's time for me to admit that My "smoking Hobby" is more than recreational. If/when I'm being honest with myself I know I'm addicted. I worry about running out, I lie about how much I smoke, I promise myself I'll cut down and I spend money I can't afford on weed. I know I need to stop but I'm afraid my anxiety and depression will get worse. It just helps me relax and chill out. guess I've been depending on it more & more. I'm back to where I was before. I'm so stupid I fooled myself once again. I'm really good at justifying it to my self. Looking for the strength to get this under control.

[Leed]

Hi ~ I know what it's like to be reliant or addicted to something. I have a very addictive personality, and I'm a recovering alcoholic & addict.

I might be to your benefit to attend some meetings of NA or AA ~ having support while you're trying to stop the smoking is really important. Doing it alone can be very difficult, and it's easy to justify having "just one" to ease your anxiety. Everyone is going to feel anxious when they stop something they're addicted to. That's only normal ~ so is feeling depressed, because you're giving something up that you relied on to make you feel better for so long.

You might talk to your doctor about helping you thru this. I'm sure he can help you too. I wish you the very best of luck ~ and keep us posted on how you're doing. I KNOW you can do this!! It's important for your health. God bless and take care. Hugs, Lee

[madisgram]

hi ok, so glad you posted. leed gave you the same advice i would have written. i'm in recovery for alcoholism so can relate to everything you wrote about how you feel, how to stop, and the fears you have. AA has a good saying 'one is too many and a thousand's not enough.' this applies to smoking weed too. once those of us who are addicted, the first one sets off the obsession to use. abstinence is the only good answer to that prob. you can overcome this but having the support of others, NA or AA, doing the same as you will greatly benefit what you want to remedy. btw, one of the first steps of recovery is admitting you have a problem. so you are already on your way to a new way of living. happy, joyous, and free.
hope ya will keep us posted and we're here to support you.

[salukigirl]

I understand how you feel bc I have been doing the same thing with my smoking cigarettes. I am so finicky. One day I think "I'm done with this!" and an hour later I'm thinking "what's so wrong with having a few cigarettes a day? I'm young, I should be allowed to!" and it goes back and forth.

I think the thing is to find your triggers that cause you to thin about it. Honestly, when I'm at home, I only think about having a cig when I'm just sitting here not doing anything and I'm bored. When I'm working I can go hours without thinking about it. When I'm on campus (it's non-smoking) I go just about all day without having one. So I know my stressers and that has helped me cut down to less than half a pack a day (from over a pack a day).

I know it's cigarettes and not weed but the mental addiction is the same. I feel nervous if I know I only have one left and start thinking how am I going to get through the day without it?! And it ends up consuming my day.....

People say marijuana isn't physically addicting but it is. Your body produces its own cannabinoids which is what THC mimics. When you begin having these other cannabinoids, your body stops producing its own - just like nicotine and acetylcholine. If you try and quit cold turkey most likely you will go through some terrible mood swings, maybe become depressed and end up relapsing and feel terrible about yourself.

I suggest cutting down over time to allow your body to recover its own natural chemicals. And the most important thing - everyone slips up. If you relapse, don't beat yourself up. Think about it like a GPS. When you get off track all it says is "please do such and such to get back on route" and that's all you have to do. Having a slip up and smoking is NOT the end of the world and it DOESN'T mean you're a terrible person. It means you're human - just focus on getting back on track! Good luck!

[o.kay]

thanks for your input. I'm going to talk to my therapist about getting a plan in place. I really have a hard time with groups because of my mental health issues- I tend to have panic attacks thinking of going to NA &AA groups--especially straight. i've been told if I want it bad enough I should be willing to do anything to quit-But group stufff freaks me out. probably sounds like an excuse but the panic is real for me.

[madisgram]

ok just knowing everyone there once had to walk thru that same door afraid, shy, overwhelmed. i hope that fact can reduce your anxiety somwhat. also you can go and say nothing so group stuff is not demanding of you. just listen instead.

[so_punk_rock]

o.kay we are in the same boat, my friend. the only difference is i have a couple of people that also do it around me and its hard to stop when you have it in your face 24/7. people think its all fun and games but alot of the time you get a mental addiction to weed. is it something missing in your life that is being replaced with pot? idk, thats just how i feel about my smoking habit. i know you dont want to but eventually your gonna have to face that anxiety. trust me i know how it feels, im anxious about my whole future...i have to face this also and i know if i dont i will never accomplish anything. its hard to just throw yourself in those type of situations but its necessary.