[Angel21]

I am an alcoholic i havent drank for 7 days now and am feeling like i really want a drink right now.
I go to AA meetings every day and i have a meeting tonight to go to
Am trying to deal with things without drinking but i have been having flashbacks of abuse and there bringing up feelings that i want to numb it

I can normally talk to my sponsor but at the moment she isnt well mentally and i dont want to disturb her.

My husband knows am feeling like this but he is out the house at the moment and will be gone for an hour
so i have no one to talk to at the moment ...really want that drink

[madisgram]

"one drink is too many and a thousand are not enough."
so glad u posted. live in the moment. the past is gone even tho you may have triggers. when we drink to avoid feelings, once we stop drinking the feelings will return. it's a vicious cycle of self-destruction. can you visualize how you'd feel about yourself if you drank? self loathing comes to mind.
at meetings have you gotten phone numbers of members as well as your sponsor? if so call them til someone answers. tell them irl how you are feeling right now...wanting to drink. no reason in the world is worth drinking over. drinking just adds to the problem.
can you get to a meeting right now by asking for a ride? do you have your own car to get to one now? can u go once hubby gets home?
we alcoholics are responsible for our own sobriety. the choice is yours of course. i hope you make good choices today. your life may depend on it.
you can pm me if you like. i'm 21 years sober, not bragging, just found a new way of living that has brought me much joy.

[Leed]

Always think that drink through from start to finish ~ You KNOW that one drink won't be enough -- so it will go to two, then three, then so on until you are DRUNK. You will feel ashamed, guilty, horrible. Your husband will look upon you with pity and disgust! You will have lost your 7 days sobriety. You will have to start all over again - and you will have to admit it to the people at the meeting.

Like Madisgram said - one drink is too many and a thousand is never enough.

ALCOHOL KILLS - DO YOU WANT TO DIE??? We're talking life and death here. There's no way to sugar coat it. We have a FATAL progressive disease - but YOU can stop it. YOU have that power. All you have to do is go to AA and do what they say!!! It's simple but it's not easy. You have GOT to do this for your LIFE. AA saved mine -- I would be dead right now if it hadn't been for AA. Don't die. Please. Hugs, Lee

[LookingforCalm]

Lee - you always have the best advice!

Couldn't have said it better. I know you're down (I'm a recovering drug addict); but don't do it. The pain you feel is better than the shame that goes with succumbing to taking that drink. You're feeling real, valid feelings, and want to numb them by drinking. It's so easy, and I understand.

You need a back-up sponsor. You need someone you can call. But don't worry about your sponsor now - they are your sponsor because you both need all the help and support you can get! Don't feel bad or guilty - just make that call!

We're in this together, darlin'. I wish I could hug you and tell you it's going to be OK. And it will. Just don't take that drink! You're stronger than you think you are!

[DePressMe]

Angel21 hang in there. I think the AA literature says "this too shall pass." I may have that wrong because I don't go to AA but I like a lot of their sayings. I have been sober for over 5 years but once in a blue moon I'll have a thought about drinking--it comes and then it goes away. I remmeber how hard the first week was to stay sober--it was painful. But the good news is that the longer I stay sober the less my cravings for alcohol. Hang in there and try to find somebody to talk with during this difficult time.

[Angel21]

Thanks i managed to get through the time my husband was away ... went to an AA meeting it was helpful
I got some numbers and i will use them when i am feeling bad
At the moment am not so good because of flashbacks but it 4.17 am and i cant call anyone at this time and every where is shut so i cant go out and buy drink
I have an AA meeting at 1pm tomorrow hopefully it helps

[splitimage]

Angel21,

Good for you for making it through and not drinking and going to an AA meeting. I can totally relate to just wanting to numb out feelings by drinking - the thing is it only gets worse. And the more you drink the worse it gets.

Just a thought, based on some personal experience. Right now you need a sponsor who can be available to you when you need her. If your sponsor isn't mentally well herself perhaps she shouldn't be your sponsor right now. You've got to be able to call your sponsor without worrying about her. That's the deal. Is there someone else you could maybe ask to be a co-sponsor or a temporary sponsor until this woman gets a little healthier.

You might also want to check out the web site sober24.com It's a recovery website that has discussion forums and on-line meetings. I personally find it very helpful.

Hang in there one day at a time.

--splitimage

[millhouse]

hi angel this might help you http://www.aaonline.net/ if you fell you need to talk with us alcoholics its a live chatroom and have 5-6 meetings day and night,i find it a great place,its 5am where i am and just finished a meeting,about 50 -70 on there at any time worldwide,hope to see you there,your not alone.

[madisgram]

...do you have the big book or the 12 steps to recovery from AA? if you feel jammed up this literature may help too.