12 Step Question

I've been working the steps kind of by myself. I won't go to AA so my T has been talking to me, but she's not an addiction counselor. I've been doing pretty good so far.

Sober since June, but I'm kind of stuck on Step #6. I thought this would be one of the easier steps too. Any suggestions on what I can do would be great.

I'm curious. If you're as you say "working" the 12 steps, why won't you go to AA? The best way to learn about the steps is by going to meetings, especially to step studies. And the best way to work through the steps, is with a sponsor who has some good solid time in recovery and has worked through the steps themselves.

splitimage

Step Six is actually pretty simple. We just tend to make these Steps harder than they have to be.

Step 6 is "Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character." All that means is that we must be WILLING to give up the defects that have kept us sick for so long. That's all this step is asking -- BE WILLING. We don't want to continue on the way we were, because that's why we were so sick -- we held onto the "old" ways -- the BAD ways, instead of getting rid of them. We cannot stay sober if we're going to stay selfish, angry, resentful, dishonest, etc.

So just as long as you're WILLING to have God remove our defects, you've basically done Step 6 (as long as you know what your defects ARE )

I agree with Splitimage -- why NOT go to AA meetings? That was the only way I was able to STAY sober. They saved my life! You won't find "brown bottle, trenchcoat-wearing bums" there -- they're all people just like YOU. I think you'd get alot out of it.

Best of luck & God bless. Hugs, Lee

i too encourage you to go to AA. there you will find many answers to your staying sober there. it can be a guide for you working the steps.
step 6. if you have done step 3 thorougly and have turned your will over to a god of your understanding, then step 6 is handing it over. in step 4 you will find your defects of character. those charecteristics led us back to the drink. if your way worked you could have gotten sober alone. the oversight is trusting that something/someone other than yourself has produced the miracle. there's no way, imo, that doing it on our own works. so look at the reason why/how you got sober.
defects of character-this part of the step is doing the footwork to change. and prayer to ask for the willingness to change helps us accomplish this step.

I know I should go to AA, but I also know that I won't. I think it's that I don't want to see anyone I know there. I especially don't want to see anyone who might know me through my job there.

Thank you for your advice. I'm just still struggling. Talked to my T about struggling with step 6 and she thinks it may have to do with this step dealing with a lot of feelings and emotional stuff. I'm having a hard time recognizing my feelings let alone letting God take them from me. I know this step shouldn't be as hard as I am making it, but I'm kind of stuck here.

From: http://bustedhalo.com/features/what-...racter-defects

Perna that was a very good article and one that I need to re-read. It was helpful and I need to start moving in that direction. Thanks so much

I could not have explained this step better..I do recommend going to meetings because we can not do it alone.

in AA we are taught that we don't have to believe in a God. it's about spirituality. if God is an issue u can use an AA group as your higher power. many have accomplished long term sobriety, you don't know yet if you can do the same. you can consider AA like this-it's like school where we learn. can you imagine homeschooling yourself about things you don't know yet? AA sure does speed up the process.
i think it's good you are striving to remain sober regardless. not everyone follows in the steps of AA but the support and knowledge you receive there can reinforce the positive. i can't imagine if i could've stayed sober had i not had the guidance of those ppl who got sober and remained sober before me. it would've been impossible for me to interpret and understand all i needed to know. just me.
just my opinion based on your initial post-you would benefit from returning to step 2 and 3 knowing what i've explained to you about god. "came to believe a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity."
step 3..."to the care of god as we understood him." this was created as such because one of the early AA's was an atheist. the story is in the AA Big Book.
I think that's why you feel stuck. even if you choose to not go to AA the book, 12 steps published by AA, explains how you can accomplish the steps and understand them. You can get a winning edge by not doing this alone.
please know im not proselytizing AA. when i researched ways to get sober tho, AA had the highest % of success for ppl staying sober. that's why i went to AA.
sorry for the long post. i know you are sincerely trying. but there is an "easier, softer way."

if you do see someone from work or anybody you know, they most likely know your problem anyway. it seemed i was the last to know i had a drinking problem. they will be happy to see you taking some action and getting some help. it's also called alcoholics anonymous for a reason. lose the shame of having a drinking problem and take heart in finding a solution from someone who's been through it.

I have also not been willing (yet) to go to AA, but here is a link that another PC member provided in another thread. I've been reading through it today. It is lengthy, but sure is making me re-think my attitude about attending AA.

http://www.bma-wellness.com/papers/F...A_Meeting.html

Thank you to everyone for your advice and support. Lost -- There are people who I work with who know about my problem, but I've honestly kept it very hidden and you're right I am ashamed. The problem I have is I am a teacher and just can't imagine seeing a parent of one of my students at AA. My therapist suggested a closed meeting for professionals. I am three and a half months sober and it is getting easier, but I know I still do need the support.

there are also some pretty good and safe 12 step groups online. That way you still get meetings

Hello.

Your thread has helped me remember the great things i have received from AA. i have been sober for 3 years now and i know that it was only through the help of 2 different guides, aka: sponsors, was the only way i could have done it. I did not have the capacity to do it alone because i was so into believing that i wasnt really an alcoholic.

My sponsors had time in the program and were able to help me understand my disease and give me the hope and support i needed to hang in there. I was also a teacher and so i went to a near-by town for meetings. There are over 200 different meetings in my county. Sadly, i had to take an early retirement because i damaged my liver and have cirrhosis of the liver.

It was difficult at first for me to overcome the fear and shame that i had become an alcoholic, so i know how you might be feeling. I told my faculty and several great parents about my problem and they were all very caring and supportive. It was amazing. But, I am not recommending that you do that. It was all about step 1 in the beginning.

I dont want you to feel any pressure from my post, but i highly recommend that you do it with the AA group and with a person that you will come to love and trust to be your guide. When I realized that i could not do it alone, i was able to do the work of getting sober.

Good luck to you on your journey. It can be so much more beneficial with the host of friends you can have in the AA program.

peace

popper