sane and clean. No bad news.. I slept well

[madisgram]

"if you don't pick up that first drink/drug, you can't get drunk/high."

works for me.

Feeling indebted to our holy mary mother of God today. I hope my daily offerings are sufficient. clean and clear.

I'm in town, where the drinking traditionally takes place. There have been a few fleeting urges but I'm happy to report I've nipped them in the bud. I stayed on the boat, literally. There is no question that being geographically removed from the site of ones "business" is half the battle. I wish all another sober 24.

Dealing with the stuff of life; health money sanity and on it goes. clean and clear.

feeling mentally healthy today. No thoughts of buying illegal drugs or purchasing booze or cigarettes. I work late this afternoon, but till then I can type online or practice my guitar and walk around town and read. I am reading the "Diary of Anne Frank" I've wanted to read it for years, I am getting to it now. Tks

[Coraline]

Soooo not a good day today. But I feel better reading this thread because it reminded me that I no longer smoke, and no longer want to smoke at all, ever. It's great not to be controlled by it. I don't waste my money on it, I don't waste my health on it, and I don't smell of it. Yay!

[gma45]

Give me strength today to fight my demons.

[Caretaker Leo]

Checking in only to reassure others that I am still alive.

[ladyjane4rent]

On the night of the 33rd day sober I started my count over. I am 5 days, going on 6 now.
Saturday night we decided to have a few drinks to see how we handled ourselves following that. I just wanted to share with everyone that it was actually a good experience for me and I learned something from it. I did not get drunk, I had three beers. But I didn't enjoy it either.. it wasn't fun. It's lost it's thrill for me. The idea sounds nice in my head but I truly think I could keep light drinking to occasional social events only. [those are very rare for me, btw] The next day I did not regret having a drink at all. I was proud of myself for not enjoying it THEN I was even more proud of sitting down on the couch that night to continue my now-sober life with a bowl of popcorn and a movie. It feels good being sober. Thank you everyone for your support, I will, of course, keep posting in this forum for continuing support but this community should take a moment to realize how important it is.

[roads]

this community should take a moment to realize how important it is.

Thank you, ladyjane4rent. You remember how important you and all our members are to this community, too, you hear?

Be aware that drinking is often really self-medicating. Don't be too surprised if other things begin to show up, demanding attention. The drinking may have Ben disguising them before.

[ladyjane4rent]

I see your afterthought.. it is so ironic that you say that as I was just checking in on some of my previous posts, this one in-particular.. http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=223505

[roads]

Ladykane4rent, I'd suggest you get on with your therapy & not let any of these things work on their own on you in your sub-conscience. I would want to be sure my T had worked with alcoholics. It's amazing how many psychologists know nothing about alcoholism.

....can't talk much

cannot write

I slept OK. I've been emotionally supporting my wife in the hospital. She was just been diagnosed with diabetes. I have been keeping house and working. Taking meds and being as step-dad to a teenage boy. I haven't really had time to ponder getting screwed up on drugs or booze. I am glad I can support my wife. She says she loves me. That is a rare gift. 10 years of marriage... It has been difficult, but the love we share today, makes all worth the suffering and heartache, worth the discomfort. Enjoy your day all!

[roads]

Originally Posted by brookwest

I slept OK. I've been emotionally supporting my wife in the hospital. She was just been diagnosed with diabetes. I have been keeping house and working. Taking meds and being as step-dad to a teenage boy. I haven't really had time to ponder getting screwed up on drugs or booze. I am glad I can support my wife. She says she loves me. That is a rare gift. 10 years of marriage... It has been difficult, but the love we share today, makes all worth the suffering and heartache, worth the discomfort. Enjoy your day all!

Sorry to hear of your wife's diabetes, brookwest. Such a serious condition requiring so many lifestyle adjustments; I hope she's doing well--able to accept, etc. I hope the hospital stay isn't going to be extended for too long and that being step-dad on your own isn't a stress-inducer.

I am perhaps reading between the lines stuff that's not there, but your saying of wife, "She says she loves me," seems at odds with, "That is a rare gift." If you don't believe her, is there a gift? I gather that your ten-yr marriage has involved many difficult times that you've had to work through together--but you have done that, right? The discomfort isnt ongoing, is it?

Because if it is, then you have serious work to do. IMO, anyway. Discomfort of that sort would explain your uncertainty about your spouse's feelings; that in turn would (if I were you) be all sorts of red flags.

How are you? Being too busy to get drunk would be setting me on the path to getting over-tired ... One of my major triggers.

Please understand, brookwest, I'm not saying you're in trouble. I failed to pick up on what another member mentioned in passing the other day and I've given that some thought. I think we need to be more aware of what isn't said sometimes.

So I'm telling you flat out there's no such thing as being too busy to get drunk. An alcoholic stays sober much longer by design than by diversion. Please, focus on this.

Roadie

[gma45]

I am here. Think I need to get over this depression. Can't seem to shake it. I am good for about a day then it comes right back. Don't want to do anything.

I feel good enough to function and help others. I am not high today.

Have reached 9 and a half months of abstinence from binge eating and compulsive eating behaviours. Feeling pretty good, and enjoying the new place I very recently moved to. Hope everyone is doing well.

[gma45]

I am not in a good place. I need to make a move and I don't know which way to go. I think I need to wait until I can get it together but then again don't think I can get it together here. Decisions, decisions. I do have faith I will make the right one.

I went to an AA meeting last night. It was a speaker then discussion type meeting. I saw someone I hadn't seen for 10 years for so. He was friendly. I spoke about how recovery helped me gain skills for coping with the day to day stuff of life, without self-medicating with booze and illegal drugs. A newcomer thanked me for speaking after the meeting. It felt good.

[madisgram]

Originally Posted by melissa.recovering

Have reached 9 and a half months of abstinence from binge eating and compulsive eating behaviours. Feeling pretty good, and enjoying the new place I very recently moved to. Hope everyone is doing well.

[madisgram]

answer to an age old question-

when a person tries to control their drinking they have already lost control

[gma45]

Here I am again sitting in my lonely room. Hope I can get to a meeting tonight. I hate where I am living and want to move. So guess I will get started by getting some things packed. I will miss my granddaughter but it is time to move on as I am not welcome here anymore. The money is gone so my daughter doesn't need me anymore. Friends told me this was going to happen. Why didn't I listen? I am not going to drink or use though even though I want to really bad. I am a survivor! I will make it!

[roads]

Originally Posted by gma45

Here I am again sitting in my lonely room. Hope I can get to a meeting tonight. ... I am not going to drink or use though even though I want to really bad.

Have you had a really good heart-to-heart with your granddaughter about this? It sounds as if there's so much wraped up in what's appearing as this single issue, & it's not really just one issue--is it?

What's this with your money being gone? Did you spend it on granddaughters family? Were there promises?

PLEASE don't reduce this to a drink/don't drink issue. Drinking will prevent you from being capable of being able to deal with very real things you must take on. Money, housing ... NITTY-GRITTY TIME.

TIme to show up for life, okay? Go to a meeting. Talk with your sponsor, & if you don't have one--for heaven's sakes, get one. You don't have to be so lonely in all this!

It's not easy, but it doesn't have to be lonely-lonely. With an active sponsor, you have a sounding board who will (1) keep you moving, and (2) keep you moving in the right direction. I can do (1) on my own but for (2) I need my sponsor. You too maybe.

Roadie