[notz]

Read a few posts from another thread where they were talking about drinking alcohol. Yep, you guessed it, my disease took me down that path at lightening speed!

I am a little hungry and a little angry. Guess HALT works on the internet too!! Time for a sandwich and a meeting. The anger I can work out with my spouse later.

No matter how much time you have abstinent - it's always at risk. Guard your sobriety ferociously.

[lynn P.]

(((Notz))) - I understand what you're saying. I don't think threads which talk about drinking in the present moment belong in the addictions forum because they are very triggering to you or anyone else who's in sobriety. Please do what you said and resist the temptation...you've come to far to go back. Sending you some positive vibes and pulling you back. Maybe there could be a sobriety forum.

[unaluna]

Yeah I don't get why that's even allowed? I don't drink but have family members who do, and I find these posts upsetting. Is this really within guidelines? I will check this with the moderators...

[lynn P.]

I agree Hankster - ones that talk in detail about drinking shouldn't be allowed. I also don't do well with discussions like that or people under the influence IRL. After seeing what alcohol did to my older brother, I can't stand being around people who drink.

[notz]

Just for the record, what I read was in a whole different section of PC! It was not in the Addictions Forum at all.

Even if it had been in Addictions, if it were being posted in the hopes of being sober, then it's ok by me. But if it's just drinking talk with no intent of sobriety then that would be a different story. Have to go case by case, I suppose.

I thank you for your support. Believe me, I have no intention of going backwards in my life, especially in regard to my sobriety. I had almost lost everything and was scouting for a place to live on the railroad tracks. I have indeed come so far.

Respecting the disease and how it's always there, recognizing it'll never change but I can continue to adapt is my saving grace.

Thank you, my friends.

[RapidFlyer]

I have found I have to choose what I read here. I am responsible for my actions and reactions to what I read and what I do with it. I have to maintain my sobriety 1st last and always regardless of anything that is going on around me.

I find that If I allow myself to get pulled into the lure of "if only" or "what if" I have to pick up the phone and call someone or immediately reach out to a power greater than myself, whatever that may be for the strength to move forward and away from what is calling me. Particularly alcohol or drugs.

Alcohol and drugs beat me nearly to death before I realized that they were more powerful than me. I am grateful today to be sober. Thanks for sharing your struggle and willingness to stay sober.

If we can't share our drinking experience here, where can we do so? As long as we're not glorifying it. Rapid Fire is spot on correct..you choose what you read here. Having said all this, yes guys, I have found some recent posts (my own included) very triggering. I personally will be more vigilant about what I post here in the future. PMs may be a better way to go for certain threads.

[roads]

Gratitude. I gotz it. Thank you all for the reminders of of sobriety's grace. I just got back from a mtg. Always happens this time of year with condo living and all the drunken parties. No, I don't want to drink, but I get so angry at the drunks!

I know anger for me was often the pathway to drinking. I just always have to cut that off. Thanks for being here ... the mtg doesn't feel like enough today.

Roadrunner

I'm going to go back on what I said last week. Talking about active drinking here is a definite trigger for me (I relapsed). While I don't blame anyone, I realize now that I just can't talk about certain subjects as I am obviously more vulnerable than I thought. I'm no Nazi though and I'm not about to tell people what they can and cannot post (that's the admins/mods job). Wishing everyone another sober 24 hrs.

[notz]

Gulas,

I'm sorry to hear your news. !st Step meetings have always been important, but none more so than when there's just been a little time since your last drink.

I want to make sure I understand what you said.

Talking about active drinking here is a definite trigger for me

When you said "here", did you mean PC in general, The Addictions Forum or a Thread or Post in particular? I think it's important to know in case there's something to learn that perhaps would help others. If you can talk to that, I think it would be good.

First, for the push to admit I was powerless, I want to thank Neurontin for his brutal honesty today (and other days) and to you Notz , for being there too, and asking the right questions. This is what the forum is all about, in my mind.

To your question Notz, was I triggered by Psych Central? The answer is that no one thing or event contributed to my slip but rather a multiplicity of things. My father's decision to antagonize me 3 days before Christmas has not helped me regain sobriety, it made it worse. I do know that I will be hyper-vigilant about engaging in certain threads on here in the future. Got to look out for number one, after all and if I'm not helping me, then no one can.

I have to say, I think I'm going to get off lightly this time. And I am learning....for instance, this afternoon, after shaking off the"funk" I concentrated on small, easy-to-handle tasks like doing the dishes, cooking pasta, hanging up laundry, making a fire; during previous, comparable times, I would yo-yo from despondency to manic "project mode", tackling all and everything, without allowing my body and mind to adjust. So instead of planning my kitchen cabinets this time around, I'm focusing on simple stuff. And maybe I can tackle the cabinets tomorrow.

I'm ok. Thank you all for being there.

[notz]

I'm glad you're being gentle with you. I think it speaks volumes about your desire to stop drinking. There's no need to beat yourself up, the job is hard enough without making it harder.

Stopping an addiction is serious business. Many try multiple times and only a few live to tell about it. What has happened for you is just a step toward when you achieve sobriety. The stepping stones...we all walk them and every single step is necessary.