[jazzy123456]

why does it feel good to tell my therapist things I know are wrong?

I feel puzzled because I don't see things how my therapists sees them

but, even if she's mad at the fact I'm not really mad at myself for it,

I just want to tell her more...

anyway,

I drink from time to time

but, told her one stressful night I decided to get high with my friends
on top of drinking.

is this so bad? it felt great. i liked experiencing both.

My T claimed I was just trying to escape feelings but,
I politely ignored that response and continued talking
about how fun it was...

Originally Posted by jazzy123456

why does it feel good to tell my therapist things I know are wrong?

I feel puzzled because I don't see things how my therapists sees them

but, even if she's mad at the fact I'm not really mad at myself for it,

I just want to tell her more...

anyway,

I drink from time to time

but, told her one stressful night I decided to get high with my friends
on top of drinking.

is this so bad? it felt great. i liked experiencing both.

My T claimed I was just trying to escape feelings but,
I politely ignored that response and continued talking
about how fun it was...

...this reminds me of a relationship...(as an example), like when I meet someone that just knocks me off my feet!

they make me feel great...I can't find a thing wrong with them.

I will do and say anything only wonderful about them....I am blinded by the thrill of having them in my life!

seems to me you are in a 'honeymoon' phase of using?
I'm not gonna tell you if it's good or bad....only you can determine that.

...they don't call them 'recreational' drugs for no reason!....and yet there is another

very dark

and terrible

reality....

when this special friend thats been so good?...begins to turn real ugly and takes away everything that matters....and maybe even has death on it's mind.

be safe....be smart...

[Perna]

Originally Posted by jazzy123456

but, told her one stressful night I decided to get high with my friends on top of drinking.

is this so bad? it felt great. i liked experiencing both.

My T claimed I was just trying to escape feelings but, I politely ignored that response and continued talking about how fun it was...

Ignoring her response was also escaping the feelings. It is a bit of a disconnect? "Do you walk to school or carry your lunch?" Yes it may have been fun to drink and get high with your friends but what does that have to do with the stress of the stressful night; you did not do anything with that, just pushed it to one side for a bit.

You did not start to learn (long series of lessons) how better to deal with your stress, did not start to learn how to not need to have ("I haven't got time for the pain. I haven't the need for the pain. . .") that particular kind of stress in the first place, you did not get anything to "take away" with you other than a memory no one else wants or can particularly share?

It's not "wrong" what you do, we make choices and usually those choices are based on what we want, what feels good to us. We have to want to deal with the stress more than we want to avoid it. It is almost exactly like school was; do you want the "A" so later you have more choices of what to do or do you want to mess around in the limited freedom of doing "nothing" and chilling out in front of the xbox or TV for the next hour? At some point though, the limited freedom gets smaller and smaller (the stress greater and greater) and future good choices harder to acquire because of past choices.

ALL choices require a price be paid. You can choose to wreck your health, albeit perhaps slowly, or you can build it working in therapy. Fun now, my little grasshopper, means you have to fiddle for your more meager supper later instead of enjoying the banquet.

[gma45]

Hi, It's the stressful night thing that bothers me. Why were you stressed? Did you drink and get high because of stress? That can can be a problem it was not the fact that you drank and got high and enjoyed yourself it was the stress that made you want to do it. Glad you enjoyed your self but the stress is still there ready to rear it's ugly head and it might not be so fun next time. Just a thought!