[ladyjane4rent]

Hello, last Monday I reached out for help to quit drinking for the first time. I have taken the first step. She is a therapist and can only do so much for me and strongly recommends AA. My fiance and I are going to go to the meetings together but there aren't any in our town. So we may have to drive up 15 or 20 miles to get there and get someone to watch out daughter as well. It is such a hassle living in my town, I hate it. I feel like we aren't going to go to the AA meetings because of this huge hindering prospect. And the website is very confusing....I can't understand how to read it.

I think everyone in a rural place is probably driving 20 minutes to get to a meeting. Believe me, this is a small price to pay. On the website there should be a number to call; you should talk to someone in your area, which should eliminate the confusion. Trust me, there are as many reasons to not go to a meeting as there are to go-and I'm sure you will think of all of them. At my local meeting, occasionally people bring children, even small ones so as an interim measure, I would just put that out there as an option if there are no sitters available; it is not the best option however. I think once you start going, you'll find people there with similar situations who can help you out. It's a nice fellowship and I hope you stay determined to go. If you are seeking help, it's because you need it; no one goes to a therapist to pass the time, right? Best of luck to you.

[ladyjane4rent]

Thank you, I am so happy I posted here to find others who understand! It is very reassuring and motivating to hear from you. And thank you for the idea of calling, I do see a number for my 'district' and I will call. Now I have one more step in my plan: call AA and figure out meetings from there since the website is too confusing. You are right, I can think is hundreds of reasons, I am always even thinking of new reasons to keep drinking. I justify it in my head "why can normal people have a few beers at night and there are no problems with it? I am just having a few beers too.. but why do I feel guilty about it?" or "work was a stressor, time for a drink" etc, I am sure you've heard them all before. We couldn't bring our daughter because what will she think when she is old enough to realize "my parents used to bring me to their AA meetings" that doesn't sound good for her. I will figure that out.
Thanks again

I think it's worth noting that those people we imagine having a few beers every night "without any problems" may be alcoholics after all. Your "stinking thinking" will tell you otherwise but drinking becomes a very very slippery slope and it's easy to lose your footing. You may go and slip a few more times before the sobriety kicks in but the nice thing about AA is that you can keep going back without repercussions and the membership will keep you afloat. I have reached the conclusion that if you're having trouble with a drink today, complete sobriety is the only answer, no matter how persuasively your mind tries to convince you otherwise.

I feel confident in saying that, based on everything you've revealed, your daughter will only thank you later in her life when she realizes fully how important your sobriety was to her. I know there's some shame initially that has to be managed but you'll see that everyone at AA are just regular people not lepers. Fortunately for me, the stigma that I associated with being an alcoholic was no longer an issue when I checked myself into rehab and started going to meetings; I'd hit bottom quite hard and had long ago lost my sense of shame, about anything. You're already ahead of the game with recognizing the problem early in your life and making a plan to do something about it.

Again, you'll do fine and you've already got the right attitude.