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#1
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...it's done
my biggest fear has hit me in the face |
#2
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....so it's up to me to pull myself out of this!
I give all of myself and I understand the restrictions necessary for the fallen |
#3
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I'll listen if you want to talk J, can't promise to understand, and maybe that's exactly what you need, but I'm here anyway, and I'm not going anywhere. Not even if you chase me with an axe!
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![]() Anonymous32912
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#4
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Quote:
I'm at that point trippin baby! it's all got a bit too much for me but I still keep goin" |
#5
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Quote:
I have many...but not for this occassion..xxoo |
#6
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j, i used to have a lot of depression before going on meds and repeatedly failed holding onto sobriety. i kept saying my depression would be better tomorrow-NOT-and didn't contact my doc. it felt ike i was self sabotaging success. and that was exactly what i was doing. i chose to believe i really couldn't stay sober. i needed to learn to reach out before i drank with my doc, AA, and if i had know about pc-tho wasn't invented yet-i would have discussed what was going on with me here. i put up my own barriers.
r u comfortable talking about what led up to your drinking? we'd like to support you. i'm glad u posted what happened. that is a start, j.
__________________
Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand |
![]() Anonymous32912
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![]() summeryoga
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#7
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Though I can't talk to you till you sober up - in part out of love for myself, know that I love you and miss you terribly.
xo |
![]() Anonymous32912
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#8
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Hey monkster. So you fell off. You wont be the first or the last buddy. Get back on and dust yourself off again. Identify your trigger and talk about it like you always do. Remember how "full on" sobriety is? You taught me that. Find that guy in you again. Love you
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![]() Anonymous32912
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#9
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....I spend most of the day washing!
what?...unintended activities...and I did all this so peacefully it's amazing! I am an alcoholic... I planned not to be and yet I became.... the inner depths of understanding were incomplete it seems? there was not enough there will never be enough ... so much to drink...provided by me I threw up my breakfast before I even made it to the bottleshop! not a drop had hit me and I was tasting the succour of C2 H5 OH ..seriously, this permanently benevolent guest in my life came calling again! gripped and desirable and additionally given pause...I vomit on my dear bed. holy crap it's all over!!...not my dear bed my comfort but it's minimalised! the washing took many hours to coordinate and no food has entered my body. ALCOHOL....saves me from itself ....how superordinary... this cycle bereft! this emotional cleft this day gone by and left. |
![]() gma45
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#10
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Quote:
![]() and ...and just quietly I ... cannot be quiet! ![]() dust off! I like it... thankyou dear buddy ![]() I remember all the brilliant things about you very easily right now....very cool... ![]() |
#11
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so j, how goes it now?
__________________
Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand |
#12
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#13
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this thing got me...it called me...and I had my mouth open to answer!
and here I am....I might die! PLEASE DON'T MAKE IT HURT |
![]() gma45
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#14
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......
I have given in my alcoholic mind has made sense |
![]() gma45
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#15
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I am sorry you had to go though that again as I have many times. It's our bodies trying to tell us it is time for a change. Sometimes that change is so hard to make especially if you are like me and hate change. I wish you well.
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#16
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You are not alone even though the bottle would like you to think it is your only friend...Don't buy it it is a lie! Again I wish you well!
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