[sugahorse1]

So, I used to be prescribed Klonopin, in low doses, but I started to abuse it when I became emotional and just wanted to numb my emotions.
My pdoc eventually sent me to hospital to monitor the withdrawal process while I stopped them.

Of course I don't get prescribed them any more. But my GP gave me a 6 month prescription which I haven't picked up.
Today my anxiety was through the roof and I took my first Ativan in a few months. I needed something to bring me down a bit.

I now have this deep craving to fall back on Benzos. I couldn't convince myself not to take the one earlier. But I can't cope without them

One way of calming the emotions is to take Omega3 fatty acids, Sugarhorse. They
won't act as strongly as a benzo, but they are not addictive and they do provide
relief for depression and bipolar illness. I use Nordic Omega 3's but there are many
other good brands out there.

Please try alternatives to addictive substances; you'll be doing yourself a real favor,
as you already know.

Try the "lemon thing", too, when you feel too "upper" with emotional turmoil. It
works for some of us.

[sugahorse1]

I feel terrible today after having taken all those benzos

I can imagine, Sugarhorse. Try to get some rest; that might help. Hope you feel
better by midday.

[sugahorse1]

I had a 30min snooze in my car and kind of feel better, but a bit disorientated. Ativan never used to affect the this bad. I know I'm self-sabotaging, and I just cannot explain it. I get like this when I am desperate. At least I didn't drink alcohol too

[Cherry73]

I have been on the benzo bus for years. I have been on klonopin the longest and my dr always wrote for three times a day prn, and some days I had to take all three an others nothing. It basically got to where I only needed them sometimes and this went on for about two years and I would say in the last three months since my move from Ga to Md, I need something all day long. I was switched to Xanax because after being on the same one for so long I get to used to it and have to switch and the recent switch was Xanax and I have to take at least 4 a day just to keep it together and I feel bad about it. I was handling things so well for so long and now I feel so overwhelmed and am very disappointed in myself. I feel for you and hope you feel better soon.

[sugahorse1]

I had taken 3 on Thursday and it took me 2x half hour snoozes during the day to get through Friday. I have sessions of blanks in my memory.

[leejoseph]

I have fought witk them meds for years,now im just about off after two years of trying to do without.But there is days when i have to have one.Anyway when i do i break mine into 4 pieces and only take a qaurter of a piece.It knocks a little of the anxiety and gives me the security of knowing i took my meds.I think after a couple years its some mind over matter just knowing you had one!

[winter4me]

How timely. My experience is much like Cherry73's--
Did so well....not so well.
And now, for the second time in 40+years, I lost my job---terminated by voice mail---the reason, aside from I dared to question something, is unclear---well, I had a very angry 'boss' who treats people poorly---I let myself get triggered (I could feel it coming and knew I should run the other way but I had had enough...)-----Oddly calm right now, this just happened a few days ago and I am giving myself through the weekend to just be. No money set aside---just getting by right now---timing is So Bad---
I went through a brief period of time of abusing the klonopin---I think my marriage was falling apart at the time, I'll have to think about that----
Anyway---I remember that weird craving---amnesia please---but I know it is better, and easier in the long run to be Here...whatever is going on.
(not that I couldn't fall...) Do try all the non-medical interventions----it isn't easy but it is much more rewarding and helpful in other ways (she says as she considers getting up for a klonopin before that niggling sense in the gut rises into paralytic panic. Coffee first. Take care all. sorry for wandering from topic...

[sugahorse1]

The benzo craving can make you go insane!

[Tamster]

I was on that old bus in the 80s and 90s for about 10 years finding my way off on my own at about 32 yo then of course I found my way back with a big ticket about 5 years ago, being from the medical field it was very easy to get whatever whenever i wanted and did. I finally quit about 13 months ago now I have to stay that way. Everyday is a challenge, some more than most. Today I wanted benzos with such a stronge urge that it took coming here to PC to channel my strength toward something other than finding a dealer. NOT TO GET on the bus.

[sugahorse1]

This last week I've had some funny moments of unexplainable anxiety. Even this morning I'm getting tempted. I just know it'll make me feel nice and mellow... Aaaaaa