Gratitude

Back in my drinking days, I was getting way into pool. I worked at a pool hall for awhile, so I played free on my days off. I made really good money, but it all went right back into the bar. I was always trying to find a happy medium, how many beers it took to play really well. I'd have one more and it would tip me over the edge and I couldn't shoot for *****. I blew all the tournaments I played in. I'd start off great and then just go downhill.

When I got sober, I thought I'd never play again, because I could never step foot anywhere that had alcohol. I'd read the part in the book about how we can go anywhere a free man, as long as we have a valid reason for being there, and I'd think, Yeah right, I can't go into a bar, ever. Did you know that the book doesn't lie? LOL. It says that if we work the steps and do the next right thing, that we don't have to live in fear, and it's right. When I was about 9 months sober, my friend asked if I wanted to play some pool. I felt like I was ready and my reason for going was to play the sport I love. I called my sponsor to tell her what I wanted to do, and she said to pray first and make sure I wasn't hungry. My friend went to the bar to get my iced teas, I still wasn't ready to do that. It was a success! It felt so good to play again, and brought me into gratitude when I saw the other patrons getting drunk. I went off and on after that. Just to have the freedom and comfort to know I could stay sober with HP's help, it was great!

After I got my MS diagnosis and lost the vision in my eye, again I thought, I'll never play pool again. My dad told me I could adjust to anything. One night my friend suggested playing pool and I told him no. How could I play with one eye? Then my dad's words popped in my head and I decided to give it a try. Sure enough, I line up my shots with my good eye, and I could shoot! Long shots were hard, but I was adjusting. My friend played in a pool league, with the APA. One night we were gonna go play after his league, so I showed up to meet him there. The captain asked me to join his 9-ball league. After some thought I agreed. It was so much fun to be part of a team and to compete again, and this time, being sober, I played consistently. No mind-altering substance to screw up my game. After some time, I joined his 8-ball team too. This last Thursday, our team made Division Champions in 9-ball. We're going to get trophies, and be able to play in a BigMoney tournament in October. Our 8-ball team placed second. We're in the running to go compete in Las Vegas next summer!

Where does the gratitude come in? Well, I probably could have joined these teams had I been drinking. But would I have played so well, gotten wins for my team? Probably not. I probably would have gotten a resentment and quit. If I hadn't been working a program and trusting in HP and doing service work, would I have been able to step foot in a bar without changing my sobriety date? No way. That's why I'm so greatful. The program is simple, but not always easy. But because I've done all the work, because I've aimed to attain the kind of life the people before me had, I am now able to do things I never could have dreamed. I love what these steps and this fellowship have done for me. I LOVE it. I can live life on life's terms today. I can accept when days are hard, and move passed them, knowing that someday I'll be able to help someone in the same boat. I just had to share. These last 16 and a half months have been the best EVER!!!!! I just had to share =)