Just Saying !

Isn't it awful to have a addiction whether mental or physical ! The feeling of waking up and needing something just to get out of the bed. Maybe something to help you just to make it through one more day, or maybe just something to help you relax after your day. Whatever the addiction its just so awful to want something or need something so bad. You usaully end up doing something illegal to feed your addiction. Sometimes just your addiction itself is illegal. Sometimes you stoop lower than low to feed your addiction. Then all the other problems addiction causes. You lose either friends or family, sometimes your home sometimes your freedom. Most of the time you just dont care as long as you can find your high. Ive found somekind of escape the feeling of reality all my life. Im a addict plain and simple. I dont enjoy being one. I dont want to be one. Maybe its in my DNA or maybe its from a mental condition maybe because of my childhood. I think its just because I want to feel good and not bad and I cant find that feeling anywere else. I spend money I dont have to feed my addiction,I hurt loved ones and let them down. Im really ashamed of myself. People will tell you to get help. If it was just that simple I would put a band aid on it. Ive overcome alcoholism benzo addiction and dabbled with a lot more. Now I'm a prescription pain med addict! Life sure is a hard road for some of us but the big wheel keeps on turning ! Maybe tomorrow will be a better day ! Just Saying !

I think I can relate somewhat, it is such a vicious cycle. Some days are better than others, but sometimes that is all we can do is hang on to the thought that tomorrow will be a better day. Don't be too hard on yourself sounds like you have beat many addictions. Just keep on keepin on!

I understand everyrhing you said, i am also an addict have been for over 15 years with a few short clean times, Ive lost so much i am lucky to even be alive, i believe enviroment, family history of drug nalcohol abuse plus alot of painful things from my childhood that i have never really dealt with that i didnt even think about for a while now because i just buried it and now i am realizing alot of rage and anger and hurt, my own failures how i have hurt people and let myself get here, that guilt, abuse i have suffered as an adult i think all that is what got me here, and that i need proffessional help to properly deal with all of it and be at peace I too have done just about every drug, my drug of choice is opiates amd alcohol i started taking suboxone took it for 5 years, still never dealt with my issues, for me it just became another addiction, so here i sit, i stopped the suboxone about a month ago and its been hell, ive used other things drugs n alcohol to try to "feel better" I am very afraid and i am at my bottom the end of my rope, so i am committing myself to a facility tomorrow, i should have some medical assitance and watch detox for 7 to 10 days then a minimum of 28 day in patient stay, i feel its the only chance i have or i will be dead, my anxiety is over the top , i want to be clean again to feel good and healthy without all this physical and emotional pain, its been a long time, almost 6 years since the last clean time i had which was about 6 months, i see pics of myself when i was clean and i look happy and healthy, i want that so bad, but it seems out of reach i am terrified that i will never feel physically better, and living with the withdrawal stuff if that lasts 4 ever i feel i cant take it, the most recent time was 4 to 5 days all i did was hurt physical & mental and lay in bed, so to feel better i took some pain pills, i have beautiful kids and have failed them tremendous guilt and shame but thats selfish so i am sucking it up and not putting this off any longer, Please keep me in your thoughts as i go on this scary but much needed journey!

Wish you good luck and hopeful you make it through easily as possible !

Hi,

If you have a hard time with going in person to recovery groups like AA or Rational Recovery this website might also be of some help

Drug Rehabilitation | Drug Addiction Treatment Center | Alcoholism | Addiction Mental Health | Directory Substance Abuse Detox Programs | SoberRecovery

TnT

iam so sorry for the anguish you are going thru. I have to say I have never used drugs and couldn't even imagine what it is you are going thru. when you have children involved it makes things a lot tougher on you I imagine. I am so happy to hear you are taking the step to get clean. you will be back to that person in the pictures and you will be so glad you did. your children are your reason for living. remember that.
my thoughts and prayers will be with you.