[Eleora]

I had a drug problem about 2-3 years ago, and as a result started “outpatient rehab”. I basically went in once a day to check in, got drug tested every 1-2 weeks, and had counseling appointments twice a week.

A couple weeks ago, I was Manic and bought about $300 worth of drugs, which were gone in two days. Since then, I’ve found myself drinking more then 10 drinks about 3 times a week, doing a lot of ecstasy, a lot of weed, and abusing some prescription meds I have for various ailments. I know I should be worried, for some reason, I am not.

I’ve managed to drink myself into a stomach ulcer, to the point I have puked blood. I have gotten a concussion from smashing my head off the porcelain part of a toilet, I’ve had an overdose, I’ve hurt my liver (weekly enzyme tests at this point), and I actually CRAVE the taste of liquor (not beer, not mixed drinks, LIQUOR).

It’s exaggerating my illness’ symptoms, I think. It’s gotten to the point that if I do one thing, I have to do another to counteract it at the same time so I don’t have severe symptoms.

On average, since that expensive weekend, I’ve spent about $100+ on liquor alone every week. It’s affecting my money situation… I am getting third job to support my habit. I don’t need a third job, technically, to support it. I just don’t feel content if I don’t have a certain amount of money in my bank account.

It’s a problem, I know this, but I am not worried at all. I don’t know if that makes sense. I also feel like it isn’t validated either, just due to my age (which I know logically doesn’t matter but still…). I mean, everyone my age drinks on the weekends and stuff, so shouldn’t it be okay for me too?

I am thinking about looking into some kind of treatment, but where do I start?

[ster]

girlbassplayer I may know what you are feeling. For a long time I felt the same way. being the good boozer and addict I felt like dieing, Onef day got to the point of ( If this is all there is I dont want to live. ). that was 16 years ago the ninth of this month. when I frist went to meetings I had the attitude of dont talk to me I wont talk to You. For Me I had to loose everything family also. I first started going to meetings and listened I was totally antisocial. just before this stop date I tryed to go get help . I went to a drug and alcohol treatment center after 3 hour They told me to leave.I tryed to go someplace else they tossed me out also I did not have inssurance. S o I went to AA meetings and no matter what I was going through I did not drink or drug. I felt very scrad and lost I hope thisis some help I wish you the best

[shadowalker164]

It seems that the things we do, and the things that happen to us as a result of the things we do, are all part of a bigger plan. I was told that the pain I was feeling was in fact a good thing. I didn’t see it that way at the time, but looking back on my hard run to the bottom, it’s true.

If not for that overwhelming mental and spiritual pain, I would never have pulled up long enough to make my first Alcoholics Anonymous meeting.

Things are much better for me now.

If you want what we have, and are willing to do what we did, you can say the same thing.

Richard

[Soidhonia]

Hello I hope you are doing well at this time. You may also think about going to a therapist that works on behavior modification techniques, as well as NA/AA meetings. That way you will be getting more rounded treatment. I hope the best for you in your juorney to recovery. Take care sincerely Soidhonia

[desirae]

Hey Girl, well all this you've mentioned is typical...entirely to typical, yet your own thing..ya know. You've obvisouly relapse, no need to point out the obvious, and of course it's difficult to feel guilty because it feels so damn good! But in reality, I think you know what's happening, and you know you've messed up. This seems serious to me, the alcohol is corrupting your body. Your so young to, imagine what it would be like in 10 years....not good.

There's not much anybody can say, you know that I'm sure. I'm sure you're aware of the steps. When you fall off with the steps, you basically need to start back at point 1. I think you're already aware there's a problem, so of course going up would benefit you.

I agree that treatment would help you out. Don't waste time considering it, just do it. People sometimes forget, because of responsibility. But you have to think, I won't be around to accomplish them anyway, if I don't receive help.

You know what you need to do, you're intelligent. Of course reaching out for support, I understand and I hope somebody says something that motivates you to get that ball rolling.

I really wish you luck and hope hope hope, you will be okay. I believe you could do whats right, with some hard work of course.

Be careful Girl, stay safe okay.