[browncat]

My boyfriend of 15 yrs has no respect for me trying to get sober, mostly because we were drinking buddies. I am really trying my hardest and have ended the relationship but he is always emailing and texting me and nothing ends and I have relapsed back to drinking with him several times. I am sick of it, and need to end it permanently. I did have 7 months sober, which is the longest I have ever quit for. I can do it again, but it is lonely quitting drinking. I do go to meetings but I don't have many friends at AA. I think I should probably get a sponsor, but I feel funny doing that. I feel weird.

[gma45]

Well misery loves company! He wants you down where he is, I am sure. I think if he really cared for you as a person he would be more supportive. All I can say is keep going to meetings and getting a sponsor is probably a good idea or at least some phone #s so when you start to feel lonely you can call someone. I understand it is hard, I had a hard time calling people also. It does help though. And you are right it is lonely but only for a while it does get better. PM me if you ever just want to talk.

[browncat]

Thank you for your response. I appreciate that. I am proud of myself, I did ask a woman to be my temporary sponsor tonight. Thanks for the offer to PM you, your very nice

[waggiedog]

Hello Browncat!! I'd honestly say that you're doing well to have shared you problem with friends here, we DO UNDERSTAND how very difficult people make life when you don't stay sucked in to their grim world. They HATE it when you used to be their drinking buddy and you change the goal posts, it rocks their world and makes them question what they are doing, though they'd never let you know that! . Yes, I totally agree, in the beginning when you quite ANY addiction, those fellow addicts can almost turn against you, I've been there many times both with drinking and in the drugs world. This shows the simple fact, they are NOT friends, they are people who share your habits, you're all sharing the babit ~ speaking the same language as it were. In my case I spent every night in the pub with my alcoholic boyfriend. Oh sure, boyfriend was the life and soul of the party and I had a whale of a time!! I know that when you either stop going to meet up to drink or you stop at home, it leaves a very big void and it has to be replaced but NOT by another addictive pastime!!
GMA45 said all the correct things too, so there's some advice and PLEASE come and share here, we'd be pleased to see you hunny. :throb

[gma45]

I am glad you got a temp sponsor. I have been on both sides myself with drugs and alcohol so the offer is always there PM me anytime.

[browncat]

Originally Posted by waggiedog

Hello Browncat!! I'd honestly say that you're doing well to have shared you problem with friends here, we DO UNDERSTAND how very difficult people make life when you don't stay sucked in to their grim world. They HATE it when you used to be their drinking buddy and you change the goal posts, it rocks their world and makes them question what they are doing, though they'd never let you know that! . Yes, I totally agree, in the beginning when you quite ANY addiction, those fellow addicts can almost turn against you, I've been there many times both with drinking and in the drugs world. This shows the simple fact, they are NOT friends, they are people who share your habits, you're all sharing the babit ~ speaking the same language as it were. In my case I spent every night in the pub with my alcoholic boyfriend. Oh sure, boyfriend was the life and soul of the party and I had a whale of a time!! I know that when you either stop going to meet up to drink or you stop at home, it leaves a very big void and it has to be replaced but NOT by another addictive pastime!!
GMA45 said all the correct things too, so there's some advice and PLEASE come and share here, we'd be pleased to see you hunny. :throb

Thank you for the Support! It is nice to know that others have gone through the same thing and made it through. It takes away that feeling of isolation! Your right, I guess you start to see who your friends really are when you put down your addiction of choice.

[Altered Moment]

Good for you. I found I had some friends who were true friends and supported me even though I drank with them and others where that was all we had in common and they kept wanting to drag me back. I had to dump them. It is hard and it takes time.

Keep going to meetings and you will slowly make friends. The more you go and the more you share the easier it will be. I am a male but in my experience the woman will really reach out to you if you are female. Good job on the temp sponsor. Do what you have to do to stay away from that ex. Change your phone number and email if you have to.

[waggiedog]

Hello everybody, hope all goes A~OK with you all. I'm holding my own against the poison painkillers and the alcohol. The substitute med I take instead of painkillers tastes AWFUL!! It's not methadone but another replacement med to stop withdrawls etc, I'm glad of it because it gives me time to reflect and breath when away from the self medication I've been doing on and off for many many years. Must say, both the demons DID pass my mind this afternoon, it was simply because I had a job to do which I don't like doing! In the past I'd take a handful of *********** and just got on with the dreaded job! OK, job not done today, but at least I didn't resort to old ways!! On and upward I guess. XXXXXXX HUGS and LOVES, as ever.

[waggiedog]

Originally Posted by zinco14532323

Good for you. I found I had some friends who were true friends and supported me even though I drank with them and others where that was all we had in common and they kept wanting to drag me back. I had to dump them. It is hard and it takes time.

Keep going to meetings and you will slowly make friends. The more you go and the more you share the easier it will be. I am a male but in my experience the woman will really reach out to you if you are female. Good job on the temp sponsor. Do what you have to do to stay away from that ex. Change your phone number and email if you have to.

[waggiedog]

Oh yes, sorry but I meant to say: I've made some very good friends at AA and OA (overeaters anon), BPD group DBT therapy and DA (narcotics Anon in the UK) My last therapy was the group for Borderline Personality Disorder yesterday, after 6 months solid commitment we've turned out a great bunch of all ages. We ARE going to meet up and we all have each others phone nos so we can either invite each other out or phone if we are in trouble. So Yes, Zinco is absolutely right, friends are to be found where you least expect, in or out of the various meeting. There will be the odd one who was a drinking buddy who DOES want to stay firm friends, you'll know who they are. HUGS and LOVES, as ever. XXXXXXX

[elevatedsoul]

misery really does love company, getting clean is worth it... true friends will support you and want the best for you

kudos for getting out of a damaging relationship

[browncat]

I met up with my new temporary sponsor today, she is sober for 27 years. wow. She is really nice. I also went to a meditation meeting tonight, which was great. I have been trying to meditate daily, read my daily reflections and meditation books, pray, and write in my journal. Today was a much better day than yesterday
Thanks to all of you for your support and kind words, I really appreciate it!

[Altered Moment]

You are on "The Road Less Traveled" a curvy hilly and very rewarding road. In a way we are very fortunate to have been forced to take that path. We can be proud of our personal and spiritual growth. It is not easy.

Good job

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[browncat]

Day 16 with no alcohol. I have been trying to make it to a meeting everyday, but today I had to work 12 hours so I didn't make it to one. Yesterday I went to the beach, and it was a beautiful day. I have a lot of ups and downs lately, but right now I am in a positive groove! I feel so much better than I did only a short time ago.