[Psyclox]

I am so desparate to have a drink right now its just not funny, or even a line of coke or kat, God its just so frustrating to try and want to quiet andf not being able to, but latly I came to realise that if u queit all together then it still has u under control, but if u can learn to do it in moderation then u have control over it, but damn do I want it now badly.

[shadowalker164]

Psyclox,

Desperation is a good thing. I know it doesn’t feel like a good thing, but it is. That torment you are feeling may be the touchstone of growth for you. I hope so.

You have been around long enough to know that the false hope of moderation is a cruel joke for people like us. We are either clean and sober or we are deep in our addictions. For us, there is no in between.

Get a sponsor and use em’ There is only heartache on the other side.

One day at a time,
Richard

[Soidhonia]

Hello I hope things are going better for you at this time. Are you amember of AA or NA. You could look into getting a sponsor if you have the time so when you get the urges you can go to a meeting or call a sponsor. Are you seeing a therapist? Getting therapy is a good step in the right direction as well. There are also NAMI and DBSA meetings available to attend as well. The alcohol Drug hotline is 1-800-821-4357 and the mental health hotline is 1-800-273-TALK. Take care I hope the best for you and I hope things get better for you soon. Sincerely soidhonia

[Perna]

A quote I like when I'm craving something is, "You can never get enough of what you don't really want." I don't think you really want the drinks or drugs; look and see if you can get a clue what would truly be/feel good now (or at least what you're missing that you're substituting drinking)?

[anniego]

I'm also in recovery. I find it soothes me spend time with
my animals giving and receiving love when I'm feeling
tense. I ride my horse or pet my cats which helps me
release the stress that I used to drink over. I also am
right in the middle of AA and am working the steps with
my sponsor.
Best of luck.
Ann

[undertheradar]

Is what you are going through so bad that a drink or drug would fix it?? I have found that after 17 years, there is nothing that a drink or drug would fix for any length of time. Go to a meeting and talk about where you are at, it will take some of the power away. Call your sponsor, get into therapy, help someone else. I say this because they have worked for me for 3 years of obsessing the curse of alcohol and drugs. It will get different soon, as this too shall pass. Hope you feel better soon.

[downsolong]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
latly I came to realise that if u queit all together then it still has u under control

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
The all or nothing approach of AA is black and white thinking, that others comment on better than I'm able. You might find this link helpful.
http://www.peele.net/
There are many others but you tend to have to dig for them in the shifting landscape of the web.

Good luck~Down

[shadowalker164]

Oh. Come on Down…

You know as well as anyone that moderation is a false goal. It never works. If we start drinking the old behavior will just reasserts itself all over again. We can disagree on what path is the wisest to take, but for an alcoholic to drink, it just restarts all the heartache that brought them here in the first place.

If one identifies themselves as an alcoholic, they are an alcoholic for the rest of their lives and they can never drink safely again. Not ever. And even if we don’t like it, that is the black and white truth for us.

Your friend
Richard

MMMmm, Not sure if its the "Truth" or a belief But then beliefs can keep a person "small"..

[shadowalker164]

Mouse… If you can drink safely, my hat’s off to you. There was a time when I wanted to do that so badly I almost threw away everything that mattered to me in order to prove I could. But it just wasn’t in the cards for this drunk. Total abstinence seems to be the only path for hopeless sots like myself. Oh, and by the way I used a lower case “t” in truth. I am not sure there are any upper case “T” truths. At least, I don’t know any.

Richard

[downsolong]

shadowalker,

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
You know as well as anyone that moderation is a false goal. It never works.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

No I don't, many people simply cut back if they perceive problems with amounts of substance use, others quit entirely, and find more interesting things to do. You might want to cross check your information sources from independent researchers, non AA propaganda machine front groups, and non coerced medical professionals.

[shadowalker164]

Down,

sometimes I overstate things. I don’t know what you believe or don’t believe. And I should not have said that I did. And when I said that you know something or another, I am skating on thin ice on that score as well. You were right to call me on that. My bad.

And I also failed to be more clear on my larger point. When I said moderation was a false goal, I also over generalized there as well. For someone who has not diagnosed themselves alcoholic, moderation is indeed a valid goal. My wife does it all the time. But I can’t do it.

This I do believe, real alcoholics never figure that trick out. We drink like alcoholics. We never regain the control we had in the past. But we do delude ourselves into thinking we can.

At any rate, take care my friend
Richard

[Raynaadi]

My mom moderated and cut down when she realized she was getting close to crossing the line. Her whole family were alcoholic and she was afraid it would get out of hand for her, too. She never crossed the line because she cut back in time, so she could have a half of a wine cooler and stop. I on the other hand, crossed the line and can no longer moderate or control it. There are many who see a potential problem long before it gets bad, and stop the obsession and mental craving. I wouldn't consider those types alcoholic. That is why I think the term "real alcoholic" is somewhat redundant, I'm either alcoholic or I'm not (definetly am lol). Yeah it's real to me, but not any more real all the other alcoholics out there. I don't know if I made any sense. I guess what I'm saying is that maybe down, you're one of those people who stopped before you crossed the line, who can now moderate, who doesn't need help, and that's why you don't want to hear about AA. That's I can make sense of.

Aha, the old "real alcoholic" argument. Yes I had my training in AA until I woke up LOL.