[Raynaadi]

A friend of mine who I met when she first came in over a year ago, moved to California a couple months ago. She hadn't gotten acclimated to the program there, hadn't reached out, had just isolated......she called her old sponsor (my friend) here last night and said she wanted to drink or die. At 2:30 this morning, my friend here got a text message from this girl that said "I'm in the hospital. My dad called." My friend hadn't heard anything else and sent her a message while we were talking. The reply read, "I'm ok. I took a bunch of pills".

She tried to kill herself. She used the exact same words that I used last week. Drink or die. That's what I wanted. She opted for pills.

Last night I was talking to my friend about watching 'Intervention' and how the last time I watched it, the meth looked appealing.....I never did meth. But I was in such a bad place emotionally that it looked good.

What I learned from this experience today is that I need to add a healthy fear of using to my healthy fear of drinking. Even though I was never a drug addict, I'm just as close to the next drug as I am to the next drink. I need also to add the healthy fear of suicide.

I'm mixed emotionally about this. I took it directly to a meeting, after putting pen to paper. On one hand, I'm so incredibly sad for my friend, and concerned that she may not return to sobriety after this. On the other hand, I am SO GRATEFUL that wasn't me....because I was close.....but my tools kicked in before it was too late.

Thanks for letting me share.

Rayna

((( Rayna )))

I'm so sorry to hear this. I'm also glad it wasn't you.

You're so right when you say "I'm just as close to the next drug as I am to the next drink"

My family was steeped in addiction. They would drink, snort or shoot anything...and I mean anything...if they thought they could get high.

You are an inspiration to many here. You should be very proud.

[Raynaadi]

Thank you Petunia.

[splitimage]

Rayna,

I'm sorry - what a terrible thing for you to have to hear about. I only hope that your friend uses this as a way back to recovery. Sometimes it takes landing in a hospital before someone is really ready.

I was at a bar mitzvah a while ago and something the rabbi said stuck with me. He said the only choice you can't change your mind on is death - so no matter how bad it seems choose life. It's so true and something I've had to remind myself of on many occassion.

hang in there.

--splitimage

[Raynaadi]

Very good quote...thank you! I haven't gotten any updates yet.

[downsolong]

Rayna,
Sorry you and your friend are having such a hard time of it, I wish I knew what else to say but to refer you to info that has seen it before. I hope both of you can find better answers than you've managed to find so far.~Down
http://www.morerevealed.com/books/horror/rfhorror44.jsp
http://www.morerevealed.com/books/horror/rfhorror.jsp

[Raynaadi]

Thank you downsolong. I'm doing much better. I finally did the work that I needed to do to feel better about my current situation. My friend is doing ok now. I know for me, sometimes I have to get into enough pain before I'll take the action to change my thinking. And thats where she was.....only she took a drastic action. I'm doing better though. As Richard says, I'm back "on the road to the good stuff." Thanks for your concern. =)

~Rayna