Help.

I am suffering from identity crisis, anxiety, depression and more issues that I don't even know about from the huge problems I have in my life swinging from various addiction to addiction starting from 14-16 years ago. I always would seek one thing to make the center of my world and shut out the rest. The most recent addiction is to marijuana and I am now suffering withdrawal symptoms (on top of an itch to find another thing to become addicted to). I have woken up a little but the issues are just so engrained in my personality at this point I don't know what my recourse is now. My parents are pushing me towards lower lows because they have convinced themselves of the lie that back then, I was still functional and not just a complete addict because I put on the appearance that I was a decent student. I don't really want to lie anymore but what I've done is going to permanently affect everybody that has ever known me. Nobody understands my extreme addictive personality and I am just being tacked as just a drug addict at this point. I wish well for myself but everything I do just causes things to collapse around me little by little. If my only recourse is rehab/jail, is there anything available for somebody like me? Am I the only one suffering like this? Someone please point me in the right direction

((confusion12345))

I hear your pain and anguish. I think addiction to any substance is something that we ourselves are going to need help with. I am not sure that you can cure this on your own even though you are very aware that you are in trouble. I think the best route would be rehab. That is not a sentence of any kind, it is getting help and there is no shame in getting help. In fact I see this as a positive step that those around you would support and also give you and them some hope that your life has meaning and purpose. btw....welcome to PC and I hope that you seek help. Best wishes and keep your head up.

Hi confusion. Sorry you are going through a difficult time in life and suffering. You are not alone. If rehab is not an option due to financial means, is there an NA or AA meeting you can get to? You are aware of wanting to change, or at least it sounds like you are open to it. This is a good place to be in to start. Some people are not even aware of all the damage or abuse they are inflicting upon themselves or others, or just don't care how their addictions or alcoholism are effecting themselves or others. So you are off to a great start! Because of your awareness and desire to change, you may be able to get what you need from NA/AA. If the physical dependence is too much to stop on your own, you may need to think about rehab. Either way, you will gain something from this experience and it will be a good thing. I know it is hard to see now, but it won't be like this forever and your situation will eventually get better. Keep pushing through the hard time and you will eventually break through. It is always darkest just before dawn breaks, and think of the phoenix that rose from ashes. You will make it, you will get through Glad you are reaching out to others.