Addicted to a disfunctional family member

Hi,
my father had an alcoholic parent, and now in his old age, when autopilot, he is recreating all the dysfunctions he went through as a child.
No matter how much things I've said to him he is doing, his denial is stronger and for him is too easy to turn on in his head amnesia. His excuses are at the level of a 8 y/o boy, and he is 65.
When ever I meet him in our house, he instantly sucks all the energy out of me - his facial expressions and walk of a victim are draining me. He rarely talks cause he is not well educated, so he would use all the abusive sounds and appearances to trigger me and to steal attention, in order to install 'a higher father figure' that an adult child should scare of. He never uses logic and operates under the radar.
I recognized my addiction to him the moment I noticed that when I am around him, my thoughts are all about him, even there are my mother and sister. Also (just like now) I read so much stuff about "Adult Children of Alcoholics" even that should be his job. But no, he doesn't even recognize his problem or take to account our point-outs of his behavior.
I guess he is desperate to recreate old dysfunctions, cause for normal family he has no tool.

In one our family discussion, my mother said that he married my father cause she saw how protective and heroic his mother was in my fathers family. Often I feel that my mothers agenda is to be just the type of protective and heroic person, but in order to be that, she also needs an abusive husband and victimized children. That would be pretty narcissistic of her.
I know this sounds sick, but this is the printed fate where my family of origin goes.

I forgot to say about narcissism; my grandfathers narcissism was reflected in his addiction to alcohol and all the troubles he created to his wife and children, so the problematic attention was all directed to him. My father is also desperate for attention and for him it is easier to gain it by provocation, triangulation, crazy-making, triggering, making sounds... The problem is that all those stuff have no direct verbal connection to logic, why it bothers me so much on some different level (auditory, bodily, perceptual doubt,...).
I have a feeling that he created so many audio-perceptual buttons in my head when I was a child, so today it is too easy to press them.

Anybody has an advice on addiction to a person?
Thanks

Are you sure he isn't experiencing a medical problem, like alzheimers or depression? There's no reason why a 65 year old senior man would revert to a child unless he was actually experiencing some form of dementia. I would probably bring him to a doctor if I were you. That was my first thought after reading your post. Anyways, if I'm totally off here and wrong, then you may want to start distancing yourself if you dislike being around him. Try to be happy next time you see him, because I'm sure your reaction to him would trigger an argument if his very presence sucks the energy out of you. Try to think about things other than him when you're hanging out with him - in other words, try to lighten the mood. If that doesn't work, then live your own life away from negative people. If his wife is helping him, then it isn't your job to fix anyone if they don't want to be fixed.

Thanks CosmicRose for your answer.
I remember 20 years ago, Sunday family meal, often his anger outbursts caused by our own free opinions and lack of control over them. And then, as he noticed that my mother looks anxious, and we all look confused what went wrong, he went to the garden leaving us discussing who's to blame for the nervous discussion, and coming after 15 minutes and a cigarette, with denial and amnesia on his face. Seeing his face, it all went back to us that we are the one who are crazy and something is wrong with US.
The parallel is that my grandfather lived in denial of his alcoholism and the troubles he created, and my father act the same only without the alcohol. His outbursts were only the aggregated anger that was newer validated and expressed - delivered to the target. Just the was my grandfather never accepted responsibility for his alcoholism, my father delete the things from his memory that are painful for him to admit and confront.
And all that is making a mess with my own reality.
There's no one who makes me more crazy than my own father.
Denial is a precondition you need to install in your head in order to live with my father.
And that is what my brain refuses.
What bothers me the most is that he doesn't even understand his problem, and thats why he don't think he needs to change or to admit that somethings wrong.
I'm doing my best to move out, and accept being a scapegoat for all the truth he didn't wanted to face with.