Daily addiction check in #1

Be careful hanging around booze, UpDownAround! It hasn't forgotten your name & how to seduce you! As for the BP, I am careful not to self-medicate with alcohol. Depression was a trigger for me, too...but trying (& I'm not always successful) to get out around people (AA for me) helps.

greentires4me, way to go!

I'm debating goijng to a friend's bday party. It's gonna bed at a gay bar, downtown. Some of the p eopple, including the friend, are sober, so I wouldn't be alone in that, but it's been forever since I was in a bar at all.

Several days past 60 days at this point...

Great job at over 60 days!

What are the pros and cons of going to the bar?

Parking is a pain down there, so I'd probably have to take the bus, and then getting back to my car on the bus would be surrounded by drunk people. There would be a lot of potentially annoying drunk people, mostly gay men tho, so I wouldn't be their type. My friend would probably be more interestred in other things or people than just me, and I h ave a hard time in social situations if I don't have a constant companion. But my friend also hasn't had a decent birthday for years and, for him, having a lot of people come would make him really happy. I can also hang out with him earlier in the day, for lunch, instead of going to the bar.

Seems more cons than pros, but him having a good bday is a really big pro for me.

What if you did hang out with him earlier in the day? What would be the pros and cons of that?

That would probably be better sobriety wise, and also anxiety wise. The earlier get-together is actually lunch after a noon AA meeting. Thursday is our normal fellowship day, but it also happens to be the friend's birthday, so one of the guys offered to buy him lunch at the place we always go. And I wouldn't have to deal with absurdly abnoxious people. Even when they aren't drunk off their butts, a lot of gay men can be a bit much, especially when they are out at a gay bar or club, cuz they are really wanting to find a date to take home at that point... even tho I'm a girl, I think I would reach my limit pretty quick. I would hate to go to all the effort to get there, just to only be able to stand to stay for a hour or less...

What if you offered to make plans for lunch with him?

I can't afford to do anything just the two of us, unfortunately. Money is tight for me and he isn't working right now, so he has no money. The place we go as a group after the noon meeting has a $5 special, which is why we go there. I think I'm gonna plan on doing the meeting and then go to lunch with the group after, and skip the evening bar party. It just makes more sense.

That sounds safer to me.

That sounds like a good plan to me childofchaos. You'll still get to see your friend without being surrounded by temptations to drink.

splitimage

It was a situation where I didn't have much choice. Drove the kids to visit friends in another city and needed to work remotely. The place I was offered was the kitchen table. I had plenty to do and stayed focused, so it really wasn't an issue. I didn't sweat; I snickered. It is really almost comical how often I seem to end up being around it and/or having it offered since I quit. Anyway, I am however many days it has been since 6/25/17...

That's great UpDownAround. Sorry if I sounded like I was lecturing. Come to think of it, in my early sobriety the biggest urge wasn't when I was with others, it was when I was alone & left to my own devices. Your sobriety date is my birthday, so we can celebrate together next year!

On of my kids' birthday as well. That's why I am so sure of the date. The fairest possible birthday for a kid - exactly 6 months from Christmas.

I have the same early urges; it's on the nights when I am driving home alone and realize that circumstances pretty much ensure that I will be the last one up that I am most tempted. I know I will be able to get away with it if I fill up the car where they know me and let me come in after to pay so I can add an item or two, run the charge as a debit transaction and our bank doesn't show the detailed receipt. I got really good at covering my tracks. Circumstances where I would have to drive after drinking don't tempt me. Situations with a higher than near zero risk of detection don't tempt me. I am not a saint; I fear consequences.

So true! My uncle was born on Xmas eve, and he hardly ever got an actual birthday celebration...

I am also a near Christmas baby.

Still hanging in, but my mood has turned a corner. It started late Friday and I hoped I was just overtired, but it got steadily worse. Lump in my throat and shed a few tears over (literally) nothing. My head is foggier than usual and I am lethargic. I am still very committed to my sobriety, but it is at greater risk than it was when I was up. Hopefully I bounce back up soon. In the meantime, I will muddle through it and keep my nose clean. There is a SMART meeting tomorrow night I will try to get to.

Hang in there, UpDownAround! I hate it when I get weepy for no reason at all...I can really relate to how embarrassing that is when it happens in public. Keep focused on that SMART meeting. I go to AA meetings, but getting out of my own head & my own addiction really helps.

Still down but not out; I think I crossed the 50 day mark on Monday.

Congratulations UpdownAround! ☺

Still here and hanging in. Some natural buzzing going on in my brain tonight; I have my fingers crossed that the roller coaster is about to head back up. 6 days is really short for a depressive episode, so I am trying to be really cautious with the optimism. But I am less tired than I was earlier tonight which is usually a tell tale sign. Sobriety is so much easier when I am high on brain chemicals.

Way to go, UpDownAround. As I wrote before, depression was a trigger for me when I was drinking, too. The longer I stayed sober, the urges disappeared. It sounds like you're almost at that point. Congratulations! Keep it up!

Thanks, emgreen. I don't know who that imposter was, moping around pretending to be me. This does almost feel like cheating; a drug that pumped me up like this would almost certainly be a controlled substance. My urges do not disappear; I have not smoked pot in ~25 years and I would love a couple of hits off that bong. Probably 30 years since the last time I had 'shrooms and a handful of boomers would be awesome. I really like euphorics; alcohol was a poor substitute but I could buy it legally and if I had to switch jobs and pee in a cup it would not cause trouble. I am fighting the good fight when I have to so far, but it helps a lot to have a med mix that keeps me out of the abyss most of the time. I can handle short stints down there but months at a time (which I used to get) would severely weaken my resolve.

I told my mental health care worker that if I ever picked up a bottle again I wouldn't be able to stop!

However many days day from 6/25 and still counting.
I am pretty close to stable; just a little on the manic side of center. I get the grins, pins/needles body rushes and some racing thoughts. The ever present head fog hasn't gone anywhere.
This is as close to stable as I get anymore. Sober* always needs an asterisk.

Keep up the great work UpDownAround!

73 days now