[MommyDear]

I am just wonering if anybody here has been addicted to any ampetamine-like substances?

I was first introduced to adderall when I was 17 years old. I am now 29 and have been using adderall/methamphetamine/phentermine/Etc. almost daily for the past umpteen years. Anything that's an upper. I don't even her high anymore, I literally do it to stay awake and have energy. Since I started, I can honestly say I haven't been sober for even an accumulative year. ****ing sad. I'm scared to get sober because I've spent my entire early adult life using, and I'm not sure how I would do...well, life...without them. I'm miserable. I'm always stressed. I'm grumpy, irritable, moody, not to mention broke. I would say I spend anywhere from 600-1000 a month on meth at this point. So far I've gotta away with being a "functioning" addict, but my tolerance has become disgustingly high that I'm barely able to afford it without it being obvious somethings going on. Im looking for support from fellow users.

I might add, I have a 4. Year old daughter and I want to be someone she's proud of, not someone she's ashamed of. I don't want to cause her emotional baggage when she's older.

[Skeezyks]

Hello MommyDear: The Skeezyks does not have this problem. So I'm not the PC member you wanted to hear from. But I saw no one had replied to your post. So I thought I would.

You need to reach out for help, MommyDear. You wrote you've been addicted for "umpteen" years. You haven't been "sober" for even a cumulative year. You're spending hundreds & even thousands of dollars on drugs. You have a 4 year old daughter. To be blunt... it's time to own your situation. It's not just a matter of your daughter's pride versus shame. It's also a matter of her physical as well a her mental health, & perhaps even her life... should she follow in your footsteps.

If the cold hard reality is it simply isn't possible for you to get well, then please do whatever needs to be done to ensure your daughter has the chance to walk a different path. I wish you well...

[WeDoGetBetter]

While alcohol was my drug of choice, uppers were a close second. Usually it was cocaine but a LOT of times meth was all I could find. I figure I spent $1-2k/month on bar tabs and baggies for at least the last decade of my addiction. And the money was nothing compared to the emotional pain.

Possible trigger:

There was one wholehearted and several halfassed suicide attempts. I had no hope that anything would ever be better han it was and most of the time, I just didn't want to live anymore.

Then something happened. I'm still not exactly sure what but mostly I think it was a willingness to try something different born from a desperation that had finally gotten bad enough.

That was November 2, 2013. I was 34. I now refer to that as my sobriety date. As I type this tonight, I have just turned 37 and I haven't put a drink of alcohol or a mood or mind altering drug in my body in over 2 and a half years.

Pretty impressive for a drunken dopehead of my caliber. As much as I'd like to though, I can take very little of the credit. What I did was stumble in the door of a 12 step meeting with a (finally!) honest desire to stop drinking and doing drugs. The wonderful people in those rooms and the program itself did the rest. All I did was show up.

[ComfortablyNumb5]

Originally Posted by MommyDear

I am just wonering if anybody here has been addicted to any ampetamine-like substances?


I was first introduced to adderall when I was 17 years old. I am now 29 and have been using adderall/methamphetamine/phentermine/Etc. almost daily for the past umpteen years. Anything that's an upper. I don't even her high anymore, I literally do it to stay awake and have energy. Since I started, I can honestly say I haven't been sober for even an accumulative year. ****ing sad. I'm scared to get sober because I've spent my entire early adult life using, and I'm not sure how I would do...well, life...without them. I'm miserable. I'm always stressed. I'm grumpy, irritable, moody, not to mention broke. I would say I spend anywhere from 600-1000 a month on meth at this point. So far I've gotta away with being a "functioning" addict, but my tolerance has become disgustingly high that I'm barely able to afford it without it being obvious somethings going on. Im looking for support from fellow users.


I might add, I have a 4. Year old daughter and I want to be someone she's proud of, not someone she's ashamed of. I don't want to cause her emotional baggage when she's older.

I had a crooked pdoc that put me on vyvanse that ruined my life. And before that I would party with mass amounts of adderall every once in awhile. But having that script of my own was the end of me. I had a very demanding job at the time so I would abuse it to get through the day. Every day needing more and more. And when my script ran out (a week after filling it!) I would by adderall from friends. If I couldn't find any I would spend days in bed coming down. This lead to erratic behavior at work which then lead to me getting fired. Not to mention I have bipolar so It made me very bad and severely depressed. After my script got taken away I spent months in bed in a deep depression and I just lately started coming around again. And you know what?! If someone were to call me right now offering, I'd buy the junk again.

I see people on here being prescribed stimulants for depression and I just shake my head. Stimulant abuse causes a severe depletion of chemicals in our brains so when we come down, it's the end of the world. I truly wish you the best hun.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Paracelsus]

I used dexedrine for 5 years and than it stopped working for me so I quit. That's just the nature of drugs they don't work forever.

[MommyDear]

Originally Posted by Skeezyks

Hello MommyDear: The Skeezyks does not have this problem. So I'm not the PC member you wanted to hear from. But I saw no one had replied to your post. So I thought I would.

You need to reach out for help, MommyDear. You wrote you've been addicted for "umpteen" years. You haven't been "sober" for even a cumulative year. You're spending hundreds & even thousands of dollars on drugs. You have a 4 year old daughter. To be blunt... it's time to own your situation. It's not just a matter of your daughter's pride versus shame. It's also a matter of her physical as well a her mental health, & perhaps even her life... should she follow in your footsteps.

If the cold hard reality is it simply isn't possible for you to get well, then please do whatever needs to be done to ensure your daughter has the chance to walk a different path. I wish you well...

I know, just coming out and saying I need help is crippiling. I know my mom would support me through it, but to get help means I'm going to have to stop working for a while. And I don't know how long that will be but I presume a very long while. If I don't have anything all I can do is sleep. I'm pretty used to not feeling well and drained, but if I can't score SOMETHING, I'm physically incapable of doing anything. Not only am I tired, but I'm physically weak. It wears me out to just get up to go to the bathroom. As far as I know there isn't an inpatient rehab for (meth)amphetamines because they aren't "physically addictive", meaning I don't need to detox. This means that my mom would have to assume the role of primary caregiver to not only me but my daughter. She would have to financially support us and I can't bring myself to put that on her. She's 65 and in terrible shape. She nearly died in May from Renal failure and hasn't been remotely close to "ok" since then. I moved back in with her in May "to help her" but in all reality it's because I couldn't afford to live on my own anymore...solely due to my addiction. God forbid my daughters father ever got wind of any of this...it would be the end of my relationship with my daughter. The thought of losing her is sole crushing to me...I see no point in my life at this point without her. I know these are probably all excuses to a lot of people but I don't have much in life to live for or hold onto anymore at this point...if you take what little left I have from me..I wouldn't see the point of trying anymore.

[brokenandalone1234]

You have to get help hun for the sake of your daughter. If CPS gets wind that you are doing meth you will lose your daughter forever. Please seek a doctor who can help and get help. I am not judging you at all in fact I am pleading with you to get help for yourself and your daughter before it's too late.

[Elle4Love]

I know how you are feeling. I too am a meth addict and have been using for 17 years I don't know how to help you but if you feel alone I am here. Because I feel horribly alone and scared and I don't want to face any day anymore. I hope you are ok and I hope you feel better. I'm afraid I can't be sober for more than 7 days but during that 7 days all I do is sleep and cry. I have anxiety and panic attacks if I know I won't have anymore and I can't function. Its a horrible feeling. I don't know how to feel better.

[Missa88]

Hiya i too am an amphetamine addict have been for nearly 13 years now. I noticed your post and thought i would say hi. And offer any help.

[Wanderlust90]

Hi
I used crystal meth (ice here in aus, or as I will call it, shard, cos that's the slang in my city) for 3 years. I've not used in over 3 years now, the only way I was able was to rid myself of all those people also using from my life, it's a massive change. I replaced the use with use of different drugs, namely MJ & benzos. As of 2 months ago I haven't used MJ daily or had it in my house, it took my partner wanting to stop to get me to consider it. I'm really not sure how to help but reaching out is the first step. When I stopped smoking shard it was the best thing I ever did for myself, its so destructive & like rxqueen said above depletes & downregulates neurotransmitters, it's not sustainable in the long term, you already know this though. I'm not going to say it's not going to get worse before it gets better, it does, but it does get better.

[Erebos]

Was an amphetamine addict from the age of 14-28. I was self medicating and was a functioning addict, raising 4 kids. I remember feeling exhausted and weary and wondering how the hell I was gonna manage to get dressed without using first. I used to keep a bomb by the bed, then wake up at 6 take it then lie in bed waiting til it kicked in.
Then I would be up and dragging myself about gradually picking up throughout the day.

Anyway when I realised I had to stop, I made a massive effort with my diet and fluid intake since dehydration is a huge contributed to fatigue. Vit C helps you absorb other vitamins and minerals, water, and forcing yourself to go to bed at a reasonable time wether your tired or not. Also forcing yourself to eat, little and often. These were all things I did on the run up to giving up. The last bit is up to you also, cold turkey or reduction if your strong enough.

I managed to give up amphetamines. And havnt been back to them since. I won't make out I remained clean ever after because it would be untrue. However I now don't think I could stomach it now.

All the best for the future, take of yourself for your little.

[Nowloveone]

Y e s. Stimulants have made me prett y much a complete mess.

[kecanoe]

Speaking as a mom, I would far, far rather help my (adult) kids get sober than deal with the pain of them losing custody of their kids or being arrested or dying. And one of those things is likely to happen if you keep using.

Wouldn't it kill you to see any of those things happen to your daughter? Please take whatever steps you need to get sober. Meetings for sure, treatment if needed (sounds like you think you would need it). Take care of yourself for your daughter's-and your mother's-sake.

[Justbyou]

Originally Posted by Elle4Love

I know how you are feeling. I too am a meth addict and have been using for 17 years I don't know how to help you but if you feel alone I am here. Because I feel horribly alone and scared and I don't want to face any day anymore. I hope you are ok and I hope you feel better. I'm afraid I can't be sober for more than 7 days but during that 7 days all I do is sleep and cry. I have anxiety and panic attacks if I know I won't have anymore and I can't function. Its a horrible feeling. I don't know how to feel better.

Hi Elle4Love- I'm a meth addict too and have been clean now for 8 months. I can relate with all you said. Getting clean isn't easy, but it can be done. Everyday I have to do something to take care of myself and stay on the right track. It took a lot of changes to get to where I am today. Keep trying!!