[Introvrtd1]

I keep falling off and getting back on it....wonder how many times im gonna do this...

[Sarmas]

It's like a never ending cycle. I feel ya. I think you should keep trying and if needed seek outside help for guidance and support. Perhaps there are other coping skills that you could try. It's an involved process of which can become lengthy to accomplish. Hugs

[childofchaos831]

For me, it doesn't matter how many times I fall off... as long as I get back on again.

Over the last 11 years, since I started trying to be sober, I have had some success, and some problems. I remind myself, that over those years, I have been sober longer than I have been using.

That is my accomplishment.

Keep trying. Keep pulling yourself back up. Keep getting back on the wagon.

[notz]

Originally Posted by Introvrtd1

I keep falling off and getting back on it....wonder how many times im gonna do this...

Until you get sick and tired of being sick and tired? A trite explanation but one worth thinking about while you look at yourself in the mirror. Good luck.

[emgreen]

What notz said. Plus, I look at the times I've gone back out drinking as "hitting bottom." The first time I tried to quit was to please a girlfriend who was sick of my drinking (not a "very deep bottom" in the grand scheme of things). The last time was when I lost the best job I'd ever had (a "very low bottom"). For me, the bottoms keep getting deeper & deeper. If I decide to go back out again, who knows what the next bottom will be? Maybe getting killed in a car wreck, or due to a mix-up with my meds. There's no coming back from those bottoms. Maybe looking at things like that will help you stop?

[splitimage]

I've been trying to quit for good for the past 10 years. I've had longish periods of sobriety, punctuated with nasty relapses, and ever worse "bottoms". May 26,2016 I woke up at the end of a month long binge, and decided I didn't want to die. Been sober since, and working very hard to stay that way.

splitimage

[Introvrtd1]

Resisted the urge to binge yesterday....mild withdrawals but manageable. A little anxiety and some sleeplessness. I somehow got 4 hours sleep.

Sigh....Im glad I didn't drink....

[emgreen]

I'm glad you made it through the day without listening to those urges. I know it's trite, but sobriety is built one day at a time. I don't know your situation (insurance, work, or otherwise), but withdrawls can be a real health issue...deadly, even. Keep an eye on those if they get too bad. Congrats on fighting the urge to drink & for managing to get even a little sleep.

[Justbyou]

I’m glad you resisted the urge too. Those urges can be so strong. I haven’t drank in a little over two years, but had a strong urge about a month ago. Even went out and bought it. I was feeling some pretty strong negative emotions and for some brief moments thought drinking would help me deal with them. I ended up throwing the alcohol in the dumpster. What helped me get through those urges was playing things forward. What I mean by that is thinking ahead. What’s going to happen if I do binge? What will be the consequences, how will I feel...etc.

Happy you were able to get a little sleep. Hang in there!

[Introvrtd1]

Originally Posted by Justbyou

I’m glad you resisted the urge too. Those urges can be so strong. I haven’t drank in a little over two years, but had a strong urge about a month ago. Even went out and bought it. I was feeling some pretty strong negative emotions and for some brief moments thought drinking would help me deal with them. I ended up throwing the alcohol in the dumpster. What helped me get through those urges was playing things forward. What I mean by that is thinking ahead. What’s going to happen if I do binge? What will be the consequences, how will I feel...etc.

Happy you were able to get a little sleep. Hang in there!

I often think forward so I know what you mean.....Trouble is...I know what the consequences are...sometimes I don't care. A moment of pleasure for a night, and day after full of pain and anxiety. Sadly deep in my mind, I kid myself into thinking it won't be as bad...I'll just binge a little less...I'll quit after xx amount....etc, etc.

It ends up being the same....sigh

The only way is not to even drink.

[emgreen]

Originally Posted by Introvrtd1

The only way is not to even drink.

DING!!! DING!!! DING!!! We have a winner!!! Seriously, though, since you know the answer, that solves a major part of the problem. I should mind my own business, but one solution might be a support group. Just sayin'...

[Introvrtd1]

Mental change has to take place before the physical changes can occur.

[VanGore28]

I think the trick is not to drink when your alone. Only to be sociable. You don't have to go cold turkey. But I realise some people cant just have one or two drinks they go full circle....sorry I don't know

[emgreen]

Originally Posted by Introvrtd1

Mental change has to take place before the physical changes can occur.

You know yourself better than I do, so I'm sorry for butting in. I know it's hard to make mental changes...especially where anxiety is concerned. I always found that drinking ultimately made me more anxious, though...At least on the day after. Again, Introvrted, we've got your back!

[Introvrtd1]

Originally Posted by emgreen

You know yourself better than I do, so I'm sorry for butting in. I know it's hard to make mental changes...especially where anxiety is concerned. I always found that drinking ultimately made me more anxious, though...At least on the day after. Again, Introvrted, we've got your back!

Thanks Em!

[Erebos]

It's a lonely place, on the sobriety road. I have a different addiction but the triggers are similar.
I think it was Em who mentioned support groups.I know why your avoiding it, because sharing the shame and the pain makes it all the more real.

I can do this on my own, pretend it never happened, no one else will know. Thing is I know, I am not moving forward, because a part of me is still hiding from it.
I need to stand up and be counted I guess.

In regards to a previous comment, alcoholics can't drink. There is no just having one or two socially. Abstinence is the only cure.

Honestly Intro, reach out, it is scary at first. Go to a meeting or two and just hear some others out. It might help to see them face to face. It's different reading stuff online.

Whatever you decide though, we are all still here tho.

[Introvrtd1]

I somehow manage to get myself into another mess. Guess I got cocky and let my guard down. Now comes another monday morning full of anxiety. sigh

When will i learn

[Moogieotter]

Hang in there Intro.

[Introvrtd1]

Originally Posted by Moogieotter

Hang in there Intro.

Thanks Man...