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  #1  
Old Mar 03, 2017, 10:43 AM
cryingontheinside's Avatar
cryingontheinside cryingontheinside is offline
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My depression and mental health is at rock bottom . a male friend of mine keeps texting and calling me offering me drugs . ive been ignoring him completely . but today he turned up at my home uninvited . he offered to come back this evening with a drug i used to be addicted to . i stupidly said yes . he will probably expect me to sleep with him in return for the drugs . im not happy about any of it but im feeling suicidal . i want to feel better . now I just keep looking at the time . I can't stop thinking about the drugs now . I just want to feel better even though it's just for a short time . drugs seem to follow me . people who take them seem to find me. He has been trying to have a sexual relationship with me . and now he has found a weakness in me that will help him get his own way . this has happened to me before and it didn't end well . obviously the underlying problem is me . but these people seek me out . they find my weakness get me back on drugs for their own needs and purposes . they always figure out that I used to take drugs . they figure out what that drug was . then they wait till I'm at rock bottom with my depression and mental health and they offer me this drug I was addicted to for free . well I say free but that's bs . nothing is ever free. There is always a catch . I wish these people would stop finding me . but at the same time I'm kind of excited right now because I know I'm going to feel good in a few hours . I don't know why I'm writing this . I don't know what I will gain from sharing this .
Hugs from:
Anonymous41403, Misssy2

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  #2  
Old Mar 03, 2017, 11:39 AM
Misssy2 Misssy2 is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: Providence, RI
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Oh boy....this is not good at all.

Men wish they could do this...just have sex for drugs.
I was told that females do this alot...I'm a female.

i have been fortunate enough to have money to buy my alcohol my entire life and can never picture myself in a bind where I would be willing to do this for anything.

I feel sorry for you that the addiction has so much of a hold on you.
Have you ever been to inpatient treatment?
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  #3  
Old Mar 03, 2017, 12:44 PM
cryingontheinside's Avatar
cryingontheinside cryingontheinside is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2014
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Misssy2 View Post
Oh boy....this is not good at all.

Men wish they could do this...just have sex for drugs.
I was told that females do this alot...I'm a female.

i have been fortunate enough to have money to buy my alcohol my entire life and can never picture myself in a bind where I would be willing to do this for anything.

I feel sorry for you that the addiction has so much of a hold on you.
Have you ever been to inpatient treatment?
I really don't want to have sex with him . and maybe I won't . I'm just thinking about the drug . but I don't want to make him mad either .
I feel really bad that I shared this . I dont want to be judged on here of all places .
I've never been an inpatient . I once went to get help for my drug problem and ended meeting someone there who convinced me to buy drugs for me and him . we did the drugs at his place and he let me stay at his because I had no money left to get home . he spent hours trying to make me sleep with him and it was horrible . I thought he would leave me in the street if I didn't do what he wanted . if he has spent his money I would of felt like I owed him . but it was me who spent mine . I didn't do anything with him .
I dont think I'm going to do anything today that I don't want to do . I will just give him money then he can't make me do anything .
Hugs from:
Marla500
  #4  
Old Mar 06, 2017, 11:20 AM
Caters2u's Avatar
Caters2u Caters2u is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2017
Location: Glendale
Posts: 1
...I feel like you just exspained my whole life since I started using..except for the sex part.but still I was used in more ways than one..I keep messing up but I just do what I can to pick my self up and start again to stay sober...I wish all the best luck to you and hope you keep in touch
Quote:
Originally Posted by cryingontheinside View Post
I really don't want to have sex with him . and maybe I won't . I'm just thinking about the drug . but I don't want to make him mad either .
I feel really bad that I shared this . I dont want to be judged on here of all places .
I've never been an inpatient . I once went to get help for my drug problem and ended meeting someone there who convinced me to buy drugs for me and him . we did the drugs at his place and he let me stay at his because I had no money left to get home . he spent hours trying to make me sleep with him and it was horrible . I thought he would leave me in the street if I didn't do what he wanted . if he has spent his money I would of felt like I owed him . but it was me who spent mine . I didn't do anything with him .
I dont think I'm going to do anything today that I don't want to do . I will just give him money then he can't make me do anything .
  #5  
Old Mar 11, 2017, 04:19 AM
RainyDay107's Avatar
RainyDay107 RainyDay107 is offline
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Member Since: Feb 2017
Location: M
Posts: 989
Keep your door locked. Don't answer. Delete his number/block. Go no contact. He's not your friend. You're in charge.

Seek out support if you are close to relapse. You're worth it!

Take care.
Thanks for this!
Erebos
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