[DelusionsDaily]

Hey all,

I relapsed this past week and I'm struggling with getting sober again. The only way I know is AA but right I'm so angry at everyone and everything sitting in a meeting is impossible. I went to one last night, got there early and left before it started. I just can't right now. I know its hard to stop with support but has anyone been able to do it without? I mean with the exception of coming on here. I just don't know if I can do AA again...for a 4 time...this is my 3rd relapse in 15 1/2 years around that stupid program. Or I just drink until I don't care about anything else but getting sober...only problem with that is I'd probably die before I made it back...I'm a bit hard headed.

[Misssy2]

I relapsed 2 weeks ago too. I have previously had 8 years sober but started drinking again on and off for the last 3 years..been in the hospital close to death too many times in this 3 years....was very close to going to the hospital again 12 days ago.

I went to AA for 6 out of my 8 years..grew tired of the routine. I have been unwilling to go (hard headed) for the past 3 years..but this Sunday I did go..and I did feel better after I left.

I mainly went out of boredom...You know because you have been..they say..you hear what you need to hear and I did. I'm not a big fan of going..but I am going to go again because I know it is the only hope I have for having a stronger reason not to drink...maybe make some new friends...have some different activities...

I can tell that you are not really open to going..and I really have no other advice for you because I have no other advice for myself..so I am reluctantly going.

[DelusionsDaily]

I went last night to another meeting.
One of my old sponsors who knows me better than anyone was there.
Needless to say when I saw her I knew I was screwed.
Every time I would think just leave I wouldn't be able to feel my body...I think it was mostly a mental thing. Needless to say it kept me at the meeting.
She had me drive her home but even before that got me to commit to taking to an appointment tomorrow. Later on the way home she revealed she had a ride but as long as I was truly show up she would cancel the other ride. All I could say was I already said yes. So she is counting on me.
Anyway last night I dumped the last bit I had(and it wasn't even as much as I thought) knowing if it sat there two nights I would drink one of the two nights. Anyway, she's a sneaky one but she also knew if she got me to say yes I wouldn't back out later even after the confession of already having a ride. I love her but I sometimes I hate that she knows me SOOOOOOO well.

[Misssy2]

LOL..that is what a sponsor is for.
Good you went to a meeting..I am still procrastinating a meeting.